Everybody knows somebody they encountered in their lives that eventually becomes just somebody that they used to know.
However, great or small a part this person played in our lives, we now remember them, if we ever think of them at all, as just somebody that we used to know.
My title for this blog comes from a song by Belgian-Australian singer, songwriter Gotye, accompanied by singer and guitarist Kimbra. The song with this title was released in July 2011. That it resonates with many people is evident since it sold 13 million copies worldwide. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Somebody_That_I_Used_to_Know
In movies, it is funny when a woman says she thinks she knows a man across the room and thinks she recognizes him. We are amused, in this time of multiple marriages, when she realizes that she used to be married to him.
For many of the rest of us, our memories of someone such as a childhood bully or member of one of our school's cliques, especially if they used to direct unkind comments at us, stays with us and is, at least secretly remembered either with embarrassment or defensive disdain.
The 1997 movie Romy and Michele's High School Reunion, illustrates very effectively the type of memories which being unpopular, unattractive, nerdy or not favoured, athletically or in appearance, can leave us with. While we may not actively give a lot of time to such past experiences, since most of us have left them behind long ago, most of us, still experience the occasional twinge of discomfort about something from our 'formative' years.
Relationships and romances often have more lasting resonance for us. No one ever forgets their first kiss, first date, sexual experience, our first love, and unlike the woman mentioned above, our marriage.
We all have passages in our lives, particularly when we are making our first decisions independent of our parents. With experience, the end of our 'first love', stays with us as a painful memory. Most of us remember declaring that we knew we would never love anyone again. The first death we experienced of even a very elderly relative is also significantly traumatic. Similarly, the first time we realize that we ourselves are not immortal, is a singular time.
As we move through life and have more experiences, we tend to forgive and forget a lot, because we have new experiences and new people in our current lives. Sometimes, we do so because reliving the past is something most of us have learned is counterproductive and futile.
If we decide to forget, but not forgive, we may carry hurt feelings from even the distant past around with us, into our present lives. These can influence our ability to meet new people with impartiality and openness.
If we decide to forgive, but not forget, eventually we may discover, that we are carrying around a lot of useless Baggage. When we consciously, realize this, we might consider that it has become damned heavy to carry a lot of old junk around with us everywhere we go.
Awareness might lead us to reflect that, unless we personally decide to let the past go, we will continue to carry around what is probably equivalent to, at least, an extra five pound bag of garbage everywhere we go.
Sometimes, we need to have a look in the mirror and remind ourselves at what I call 'three o'clock in the morning', when we are alone with ourselves, that we may be giving 'power' to something or someone, we should have said goodbye to years ago. This is something that it's never too late to do.
I urge you, and remind myself also, as I write this, to put down the heavy baggage. At the same time, let ourselves stop recriminating over what might have, could have, should have and, maybe, would have happened if only - we or they, were different.
Take the load off of your metaphorical shoulders, take the weight off of your life. You will feel lighter for having put down that load of useless old baggage and put the people of the past in the back of our memories by letting them finally be - Just Somebody That I Used to Know.
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