Historically, you were treated as a grown up adult at a much younger age. Shorter lifespans may perhaps have necessitated earlier marriages and adult responsibilities. Throughout history, people were considered by be grown up once they had experienced puberty or certainly not long after.
Learning how to be self sufficient is one of the important milestones we must reach if we are to become adults. Today, however, we seem have extended childhood dependence far into adulthood. In fact, I would say, far beyond any reasonable length of time, thereby postponing adulthood indefinitely.
I will always love the concept of the family as a mainstay of society and am very encouraged that in 1999, at least, Marcel Danesi in his book Forever Young, says that 79% of 12-14 year old children admired their parents most (with athletes next at 13%).
Some parents may feel they are helping by encouraging their 'children' who have now been adults for some time, to take even more time to 'find themselves'. Others however, may have simply become resigned to a sort of perpetual extended family living under their roof indefinitely, being either unwilling or unable to feel confident as Adults with their own lives and families.
By 2000, the U.S. census found that 4 million people between twenty-five and thirty-four were living with their parents. Today this is often at the parent's expense, with legal decisions, in both the United States and European Union, enforcing such lifestyle choices. Having dependent adult 'children' in the parental home has now become very normal.
Some of these 'children' have probably never left their parental homes. Others, likely left home for a while, but have now returned. Some were away to complete their education. Others have returned, perhaps after a divorce, with the grandchildren. Some of the grandchildren have been or will be, left behind for the grandparents to raise when the adult 'children' again leave. Still others have never married and either can't or won't lead lives independent of their parents.
That large numbers of young adults remaining in the family home, particularly as adult dependents, either unwilling or unable to function independently of their families, concerns me greatly. I suspect that many of these adults have decided that "There's no place like home".
If I were to be cynical, I would say for some of this group, that the comforts of home (paid for by someone else) appeals far more than the self discipline, hard work and self motivation that is required to build a life of one's own successfully. I consider many of these as lazy and self serving.
When I hear about adults in their 50's and older 'borrowing' money from their parents to support their 'lifestyles' and expenses, I can't help but wonder, why they feel that, baring dire emergencies, this would be acceptable. This applies especially to those adult men and women feeling entitled to 'their inheritance' and consequently demand money from their elderly parents. When did it become acceptable to ask for or consider yourself entitled to an inheritance especially while your parents are still alive?
For some parents, it must seem that, in the worst sense, once a parent, always a parent, or perhaps once a child, always a child, when the worst version of parenting and even grand parenting has become reality today. When your children never grow up is it any wonder that some parents talk about 'running away from home'?.
A more troubling possibility however, to the future of our society, would involve those young men and woman who say that they want a place of their own, want to earn a living of their own but feel unable emotionally or financially to do so. Among these those who are aimless, unmotivated or despondent, present an even greater challenge.
The law of unintended consequences could be very harsh indeed when those who were unwilling to be adults, become unable to do so. Like it or not, none of us is going to live forever. Leaving behind a lot of dependent men and women, would be tragic. However, this might be the outcome of allowing dependence to continue so far into adulthood.
I believe that eventually, we will need to address the consequences of perpetuating childhood, dependent behaviour and not encouraging and insisting that young adults assume their place in society as adults as a rite of passage, when they should.
Inevitably, the result, of continuing adolescence far into adulthood is, that no one benefits, least of all the forever dependent 'child'. Ultimately, in essence, they are deprived of enjoying the benefits of living a fulfilling, productive, self sufficient and meaningful life.
*See also blog of March 16, 2012 "I Don't Want To/Can't Grow Up
Monday 12 December 2011
Saturday 10 December 2011
FOREVER YOUNG - DENYING YOURSELF HAPPINESS (2011 & 2013)
When I was writing this in late 2011, one of my brothers said he wished he could go back and be 13 years old forever. I said I wished I could be 20. This made me wonder whether each of us has an ideal age that we would like to be again or have stayed at forever, whatever age we actually now are.
Most of us have heard someone say, 'If only I was 10 years younger'. Today it seems that popular culture has encouraged and already accepted people behaving as if they are, at least, 10 years younger.
I actually wonder whether anyone today will admit to being old. I believe growing old gracefully is, at least in North America, a thing of the past.
Everywhere in the media we see the culture of Forever Young being directly or indirectly portrayed as where we all should want to be. This is especially true when we see airbrushed magazine covers showing models, almost all under 30. We cannot help but observe this young look in any advertisements. Also there is also an absence of almost anyone on the movie premiere or awards ceremony 'red carpet' who does not seem ageless.
Articles talk about women feeling old at 27, but men not feeling the same way until they are around 54 years old. Even when 40 is the new 30, 50 is the new 40 etc., eventually somebody has to accept that they have finally reached old age...then again, maybe not, anymore these days.
Many, women especially, but also some men are having Botulism injected into their faces to keep aging signs at bay. Meanwhile, almost all age groups wear the same blue jeans, and listen to the same music, while speaking the current slang. Generally, I would say, most people are actively trying to demonstrate youth in their attire, words and actions.
As Marcel Danesi has written in his book, Forever Young - The Teen-Aging of Modern Culture, the parents are talking the talk of the young, wearing the clothes of much younger people, adopting the music, and perhaps also the behaviour and attitudes, of those much younger than their chronological age. He observes a 70+ grandmother grooving (sic) beside her grandson at a Grateful Dead concert and marvels at the uniformity of their outfits, and by extension, outlooks.
When I met a several of my cousins recently, I mentioned that any efforts by CARP (the Canadian Association of Retired People) to enlist people of 50 or over into their ranks as members was not going to happen. Most of them agreed with me that the Boomers would never willingly concede that they were already there.
I am convinced that this culture of being Forever Young is, a fait accompli. I believe that because of this desire to be forever young, the Zoomers label had to be created.
Meanwhile, although many women might be flattered to be considered to look like sisters to their daughters, the reality of a parent as a friend or sister, is more likely to leave children without a parent.
Trying to dress and act your child's age and be their friend and peer, or worse still, for some reason trying to compete with them, could lead to a failure of discipline and direction as a parent. It is even more likely to eventually expose you to ridicule and make you seem pathetic to others. This is a struggle to be someone else's age, rather than your own.
When aging, older adults and the parents of the adult 'children' are doing everything they can to stay Forever Young, they are also not accepting the beauty and strengths that each age brings with it in its natural course.
While there is probably nothing wrong with being alert and aware of what is going on around you; slavishly devotion to youth's every utterance however, makes some of us wonder where there is someone reasonable to tell the 'Fashion Victims' and other devotees of the youth cult, to Grow Up and act their age.
The alternative is denying yourself Happiness because you are never living in the present and resentful and angry because you can never go back to some 'ideal perfect age'. If you think about it for a short while, you actually wouldn't want to, but there is no reasoning with bitterness and resentment.
Meanwhile, we might wonder whether growing old gracefully has gone forever. Perhaps young, older and oldest have already committed themselves to the ultimately futile struggle to stay Forever Young, ignoring all evidence to the contrary. If so, they are of course, fighting a losing battle and will ultimately fail.
Taken to the ultimate end I suppose, we might witness many middle age crazy stuff from people who have retired and see them still Zooming away when old age takes the life out of them. We may hear that they were still kicking and screaming that were too young to die until the end. Doesn't sound 'cool' to me, because it won't be.
See also: FOREVER YOUNG 2 - CELEBRATING YOUR SUCCESS (2012 & 2013)
Most of us have heard someone say, 'If only I was 10 years younger'. Today it seems that popular culture has encouraged and already accepted people behaving as if they are, at least, 10 years younger.
I actually wonder whether anyone today will admit to being old. I believe growing old gracefully is, at least in North America, a thing of the past.
Everywhere in the media we see the culture of Forever Young being directly or indirectly portrayed as where we all should want to be. This is especially true when we see airbrushed magazine covers showing models, almost all under 30. We cannot help but observe this young look in any advertisements. Also there is also an absence of almost anyone on the movie premiere or awards ceremony 'red carpet' who does not seem ageless.
Articles talk about women feeling old at 27, but men not feeling the same way until they are around 54 years old. Even when 40 is the new 30, 50 is the new 40 etc., eventually somebody has to accept that they have finally reached old age...then again, maybe not, anymore these days.
Many, women especially, but also some men are having Botulism injected into their faces to keep aging signs at bay. Meanwhile, almost all age groups wear the same blue jeans, and listen to the same music, while speaking the current slang. Generally, I would say, most people are actively trying to demonstrate youth in their attire, words and actions.
As Marcel Danesi has written in his book, Forever Young - The Teen-Aging of Modern Culture, the parents are talking the talk of the young, wearing the clothes of much younger people, adopting the music, and perhaps also the behaviour and attitudes, of those much younger than their chronological age. He observes a 70+ grandmother grooving (sic) beside her grandson at a Grateful Dead concert and marvels at the uniformity of their outfits, and by extension, outlooks.
When I met a several of my cousins recently, I mentioned that any efforts by CARP (the Canadian Association of Retired People) to enlist people of 50 or over into their ranks as members was not going to happen. Most of them agreed with me that the Boomers would never willingly concede that they were already there.
I am convinced that this culture of being Forever Young is, a fait accompli. I believe that because of this desire to be forever young, the Zoomers label had to be created.
Meanwhile, although many women might be flattered to be considered to look like sisters to their daughters, the reality of a parent as a friend or sister, is more likely to leave children without a parent.
Trying to dress and act your child's age and be their friend and peer, or worse still, for some reason trying to compete with them, could lead to a failure of discipline and direction as a parent. It is even more likely to eventually expose you to ridicule and make you seem pathetic to others. This is a struggle to be someone else's age, rather than your own.
When aging, older adults and the parents of the adult 'children' are doing everything they can to stay Forever Young, they are also not accepting the beauty and strengths that each age brings with it in its natural course.
While there is probably nothing wrong with being alert and aware of what is going on around you; slavishly devotion to youth's every utterance however, makes some of us wonder where there is someone reasonable to tell the 'Fashion Victims' and other devotees of the youth cult, to Grow Up and act their age.
The alternative is denying yourself Happiness because you are never living in the present and resentful and angry because you can never go back to some 'ideal perfect age'. If you think about it for a short while, you actually wouldn't want to, but there is no reasoning with bitterness and resentment.
Meanwhile, we might wonder whether growing old gracefully has gone forever. Perhaps young, older and oldest have already committed themselves to the ultimately futile struggle to stay Forever Young, ignoring all evidence to the contrary. If so, they are of course, fighting a losing battle and will ultimately fail.
Taken to the ultimate end I suppose, we might witness many middle age crazy stuff from people who have retired and see them still Zooming away when old age takes the life out of them. We may hear that they were still kicking and screaming that were too young to die until the end. Doesn't sound 'cool' to me, because it won't be.
See also: FOREVER YOUNG 2 - CELEBRATING YOUR SUCCESS (2012 & 2013)
Wednesday 23 November 2011
THE BLANKET MAN (2011 & 2013)
On Monday as I approached the bus stop on Eglinton Avenue, I again saw 'the Blanket Man'. His hair was still it's usual matted mess but he was covering himself by holding onto a new grey blanket. I didn't get a really good look at his feet, but possibly also he had on new running shoes, although as usual his legs were bare. As usual I couldn't help but wonder if he had any clothes on under the blanket.
I usually see him rushing up Yonge Street near Eglinton and getting on to or off of the subway train, he rushed down the stairs this time at Eglinton and Yonge and had somehow turned around from his eastbound walk along Eglinton and reached the subway before I did.
I wonder who he is, whether he ever gets a bath, where he gets food and goes for shelter. I am glad he has a new blanket to cover himself with instead of the old rag of a coat he had before although neither that nor his shoes is adequate covering for anyone in this or any kind of Canadian weather.
Maybe I am a coward but I am afraid to approach him, even to ask if he needs anything.
Most of all, I wonder why the city ever closed the Queen Street Mental Health Centre (999 Queen Street as we called it when I was a child) and left these poor, obviously needy people to walk the streets inadequately covered and unprotected from the weather and/or whatever in themselves has brought them to the streets.
NOTE: As of April 2013, the Blanket Man is still around. He seems to be wearing shorts and a shirt and carries his blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He seems therefore, to be alive and, perhaps also, well.
I usually see him rushing up Yonge Street near Eglinton and getting on to or off of the subway train, he rushed down the stairs this time at Eglinton and Yonge and had somehow turned around from his eastbound walk along Eglinton and reached the subway before I did.
I wonder who he is, whether he ever gets a bath, where he gets food and goes for shelter. I am glad he has a new blanket to cover himself with instead of the old rag of a coat he had before although neither that nor his shoes is adequate covering for anyone in this or any kind of Canadian weather.
Maybe I am a coward but I am afraid to approach him, even to ask if he needs anything.
Most of all, I wonder why the city ever closed the Queen Street Mental Health Centre (999 Queen Street as we called it when I was a child) and left these poor, obviously needy people to walk the streets inadequately covered and unprotected from the weather and/or whatever in themselves has brought them to the streets.
NOTE: As of April 2013, the Blanket Man is still around. He seems to be wearing shorts and a shirt and carries his blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He seems therefore, to be alive and, perhaps also, well.
PASS ON A GOOD DAY TODAY - THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT
It must be a couple of years now since I heard someone thank a Bus Driver as they got off of a bus, or my brother ask a girl at the counter at the coffee shop (who was not a barista) how she was that day.
I realized that even though the contact with these people was brief and probably we would forget them a few minutes later, these few words might have made their day a little better.
I don't envy those facing the public directly in their jobs. Having made phone calls to customers in the banking industry about their accounts many years ago, I know how much patience is required when faced with either an irate or angry person, justified or not, that you must listen and respond to.
A bus driver earlier this week told me that he thinks there isn't any other job that deals with the public more than his does. He is probably right.
Being pleasant or courteous not only gets us where we are going as quickly but can leave those we meet and ourselves feeling better. Best of all it is easy and free.
SEE ALSO: SMILING - ITS ADDICTIVE AND CONTAGIOUS and SAY IT NOW AND MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE
I realized that even though the contact with these people was brief and probably we would forget them a few minutes later, these few words might have made their day a little better.
I don't envy those facing the public directly in their jobs. Having made phone calls to customers in the banking industry about their accounts many years ago, I know how much patience is required when faced with either an irate or angry person, justified or not, that you must listen and respond to.
A bus driver earlier this week told me that he thinks there isn't any other job that deals with the public more than his does. He is probably right.
Being pleasant or courteous not only gets us where we are going as quickly but can leave those we meet and ourselves feeling better. Best of all it is easy and free.
SEE ALSO: SMILING - ITS ADDICTIVE AND CONTAGIOUS and SAY IT NOW AND MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE
Tuesday 25 October 2011
BABY BOOMERS - A 25 YEAR SPAN BETWEEN 1946-1964 (FROM 2011)
The Baby Boom officially was considered to have occurred over a 25 year span from 1946 to 1964. It was a huge increase of 1.5 million more births than would otherwise have occurred a huge increase of 18% more than would otherwise have been expected and totalled about 8.6 million births.
The oldest of us now are 67, the youngest born in 1964 are now 49 and in fact, are therefore not really 'young' anymore.
Being a Baby Boomer, one thing I know about my group is that none of us are likely to either admit, or even grudgingly concede, that we are old. Most attempts by advertisers and seniors organization at attracting our membership are doomed to fall flat, since we still feel young enough, to think that is what our parents and grandparents are, not us.
We might however, if you catch us off guard, secretly admit (probably in a whisper, under duress) that it has been a long time, since we would not 'trust anyone over 30'.
The youngest group is considerably different than the oldest, not just because there is a great age span of 25 years, because of course, someone 49 will not be the same as someone 67 years of age. This age span, in other periods would have been considered another generation. It is very different in character, personality, lifestyles and values between the youngest and the oldest.
Some of the youngest of the Baby Boom, might conceivably live to be a 100 (or more) and therefore might still be alive in 2064 and live in a world we would no longer recognize. In fact, what a different world it is now from that which when we were children.
The older ones among us, participated, in very big changes to the world around us. We were growing up at a time when a natural evolution of the society around us was taking place. This was the start of what has been a period of unrivalled prosperity for most of our society. It was also the post second world war period when people were once again able to return to their normal civilian lives.
Getting married, beginning to have a family and buying a home of your own, was perhaps the goal of most people at that time. Within a short time however, all of these children needed schools and from 1959 onward became teenagers moving toward adulthood. By 1977 even the youngest were teenagers, by 2004 even the youngest was 40, no doubt as shocked or even more so, than we were to reach 40.
By the time the younger group was old enough to travel alone, there was usually enough extra money so that they could make trips to almost anywhere in the world, even before their 20's. This affluence enabled many more people than ever before to get a better education and in general, have the possibility of better and longer lives as well.
Society began to undergo very great changes, with peaceful prosperity and a very large group both taking part in them and propelling them also. To some extent, we created some of the changes because of our numbers. The younger ones wanting to be like the older ones and the older among us picking up what the younger and even youngest in this Baby Boom group were doing as well.
As the older ones among us aged, we did not want to be left out of anything and so participated in many new and exciting changes throughout all of our lives and continue to do so. Language and expression weren't the only part of our lives that keep changing.
As I prepared to celebrate the 50th Anniversary (yikes) of my Grade School last Sunday, I wondered where the time has gone. I don't feel I am that old, although recently a number of younger women are calling me ma'am, and younger men are (to my astonishment) calling me dear, when they meet me. I must be becoming my mother more quickly than I thought, and although this isn't a bad thing, I don't think I am ready, just yet, to concede old age. I certainly have a lot of things I want to do with a wish list a mile long, and great exuberance and energy and impatience to want to do many of them soon.
Being a Baby Boomer, I suspect none of us do, and likely, none of us will, concede that we are old(er) now. We might however, secretly admit (in a whisper, under duress) that, it has been a long time since we wouldn't 'trust anyone over 30' or in fact, were 30 ourselves.
In my case, being born on the half century, every year I have lived is part of the Boomer core age group, the largest cohort ever, growing up, maturing and changing ourselves and the world around us as we moved through the years. In some ways we might be considered a large lava flow, inexorably moving ahead, changing the landscape around us. I have to wonder whether anyone could have either intended or imagined some of the changes that occurred because of the sheer size of our cohort.
I can't help wondering also whether the new ideas coming from those younger than us, as they grow up and become adults, will change society even more greatly than those we have already seen.
I am really looking forward to seeing what happens, in the next 10 years and after; am really enjoying many things, particularly in the technologies proliferating; generating new ideas as imagination is given free rein.
NOTE; RELATED ARTICLES #1- BABY BOOMERS - I JUST WANT TO CELEBRATE ANOTHER DAY OF LIVING and #2 - BABY BOOMERS - TALKING ABOUT MY GENERATION STEPPING UP - BOTH FROM APRIL 2013)
Sunday 23 October 2011
TREAT OTHERS AS YOU WANT TO BE TREATED - THE GOLDEN RULE ( 2013 AND 2011)
'DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WISH THEM TO DO UNTO YOU' - TREAT OTHERS AS YOU WANT TO BE TREATED...THE GOLDEN RULE
The Golden Rule of treating others as you wish to be treated is apparently present in eight of the world's religions. This is probably because it makes good sense.
The handshake originated to prove that one was not holding a sword ready to fight a person they met. Laying down your shield left you defenceless to 'shield' yourself, therefore proving you were unarmed. Living by the golden rule is a determination you have made to not encounter others ready for an argument, be suspicious or hostile to others around you and generally that you intend to treat others as you wish to be treated.
It probably also means that you are fairly neutral or calm about the events happening around you and when you interact with people you meet.
The rules of etiquette, inform us about basic good manners, let us get on with our lives, with reasonable proscriptions which modify our behaviour and demonstrate standards of civility acceptable to our society. Generally these are the mores of this society. Those that do not follow them are usually consider boorish or rude.
In North America, although occasionally someone will, for example, push their way ahead of others in a line or a crowd, most of us recognize that the person who arrived first, goes first.
A man with good manners is normally considered a gentleman, a woman with good manners a lady.
Usually a person considered to have good manners has, at a minimum a consideration or awareness of other people, particularly those older or weaker than yourself.
Faced with repeated bad behaviour, I usually think I am dealing with a 'savage'. I am unlikely to be able to change this. Therefore, it may be appropriate to say in this case, 'it is what it is', I am thinking that this person was not brought up properly, by either of his parents. Neither his mother, nor it appears, his father instructed him in the way civilized people behave. At best he is oblivious and thoughtless of others; at worst intolerable.
Sometimes, objective outsiders such as teachers, counsellors, coaches or clergy need to try and explain why people behave in a certain way. Through their example and suggestions they might demonstrate and prove that, life is easier for people around him. He will also see that his only life also becomes easier and he can get on with what he wants to do in life without interruption.
It would be nice if we might all remember to acknowledge people with a smile or a greeting, particularly those serving us. A little kindness and courtesy as we proceeded through our day, has the positive effect of making life easier for everyone. In general, not only would we feel better but, I am certain the other people would continue their day feeling better as well.
Fortunately, there are still thousands of people who are considerate, even only briefly in their daily lives. They behave politely to other people. You may notice that many other people around you are behaving relatively normally, keeping to themselves and are likely going through their days in a calm fashion. This is normal behaviour.
Likely the person standing next to you, being a fellow human being, is as interested as you are in living their life, getting through their day and their life with a minimum of aggravation and upset. I really can not imagine anyone deliberately trying to find a way to complicate their lives.
When you consider how you wish to be treated before you respond to others around you, determine to extend to them the same courtesy you would like to experience yourself, you make your life easier while also making theirs a bit better too. Win-Win.
The Golden Rule of treating others as you wish to be treated is apparently present in eight of the world's religions. This is probably because it makes good sense.
The handshake originated to prove that one was not holding a sword ready to fight a person they met. Laying down your shield left you defenceless to 'shield' yourself, therefore proving you were unarmed. Living by the golden rule is a determination you have made to not encounter others ready for an argument, be suspicious or hostile to others around you and generally that you intend to treat others as you wish to be treated.
It probably also means that you are fairly neutral or calm about the events happening around you and when you interact with people you meet.
The rules of etiquette, inform us about basic good manners, let us get on with our lives, with reasonable proscriptions which modify our behaviour and demonstrate standards of civility acceptable to our society. Generally these are the mores of this society. Those that do not follow them are usually consider boorish or rude.
In North America, although occasionally someone will, for example, push their way ahead of others in a line or a crowd, most of us recognize that the person who arrived first, goes first.
A man with good manners is normally considered a gentleman, a woman with good manners a lady.
Usually a person considered to have good manners has, at a minimum a consideration or awareness of other people, particularly those older or weaker than yourself.
Faced with repeated bad behaviour, I usually think I am dealing with a 'savage'. I am unlikely to be able to change this. Therefore, it may be appropriate to say in this case, 'it is what it is', I am thinking that this person was not brought up properly, by either of his parents. Neither his mother, nor it appears, his father instructed him in the way civilized people behave. At best he is oblivious and thoughtless of others; at worst intolerable.
Sometimes, objective outsiders such as teachers, counsellors, coaches or clergy need to try and explain why people behave in a certain way. Through their example and suggestions they might demonstrate and prove that, life is easier for people around him. He will also see that his only life also becomes easier and he can get on with what he wants to do in life without interruption.
It would be nice if we might all remember to acknowledge people with a smile or a greeting, particularly those serving us. A little kindness and courtesy as we proceeded through our day, has the positive effect of making life easier for everyone. In general, not only would we feel better but, I am certain the other people would continue their day feeling better as well.
Fortunately, there are still thousands of people who are considerate, even only briefly in their daily lives. They behave politely to other people. You may notice that many other people around you are behaving relatively normally, keeping to themselves and are likely going through their days in a calm fashion. This is normal behaviour.
Likely the person standing next to you, being a fellow human being, is as interested as you are in living their life, getting through their day and their life with a minimum of aggravation and upset. I really can not imagine anyone deliberately trying to find a way to complicate their lives.
When you consider how you wish to be treated before you respond to others around you, determine to extend to them the same courtesy you would like to experience yourself, you make your life easier while also making theirs a bit better too. Win-Win.
Saturday 22 October 2011
DON'T TRIVIALIZE TRAGEDY - Rewritten May 19,2013
No war has taken place on Canadian soil in the past 200 years, since the war of 1812. In addition to this important fact, most of us born in this country never have, nor likely ever will, experience, hunger, famine or starvation.
Meanwhile, in far too many other parts of the world, these things are very real experiences. They are taking place amidst many, long and painful conflicts. Some young people in places such as Sri Lanka and Burma for example have been at war for decades. Even when these are not world wars; people are being tortured and killed by others seeking to dominate and assume power over them.
Tragically, once in every generation or so, someone who feels a need for autocratic power seems to arise in one part of the world or another. This person is usually so driven and/or ruthless that other nations need to intervene in the affairs of his country. Sometimes this involves condemnation by organizations of nations - such as the United Nations. In extreme cases, a number of countries need to send armed forces to forcibly stop violence and injustice, when diplomacy and all other forms of censure have failed.
The very freedoms we enjoy in this democratic country ensure our 'right' to exercise free speech and also to peacefully protest. Regardless of the subject of any protest, here in Canada, we are not likely to lose our lives because of the views we express.*
Most of us are law abiding. Few of us are likely to violently assault another person however much we might disagree with them, nor are most of us likely to damage their property or the city around us. In reality, usually the only place we see physical violence is in the movies or on the News. Fortunately most of us in this country continue to go about our business peacefully.
Consequently, neither the great abuses against human rights, nor the suffering which would likely occur, were we to have a war taking place on our own soil, are absent. Pillaging, looting, theft and brutal Piracy are absent as well. Invasion or occupation by another country is not experienced here either.
Anyone thinking or suggesting that the supposed injustice they feel they have experienced in this country is remotely comparable to the mass murder which more than 6 million people experienced in Hitler's Final Solution is trivializing the truly tragic. When millions of people died, whether they were Jews, Gypsies, Homosexuals, Slavs or any other group the Nazis intended to eliminate, we do a disservice to those who suffered immeasurably. Most of us, myself included cannot even imagine ever living through such a time in history ourselves.
It is unconscionable and disgraceful for most of us, in this generation, particularly in North America to carelessly and casual refer to, or actually compare, anyone in our country today to Hitler or Stalin. It is trivial, disgraceful and a travesty. Even a rudimentary knowledge of history illustrates and documents exactly what these Monsters did to millions of people.
The often repeated statement attributed to Lenin, that 'you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs' is just the Communist leaders way of telling us that people's heads and people's lives were worth taking in order to change the society and realize his plan to change Russia and introduce Communism.
His successor Stalin, effected a genocidal murder of 10 million Ukrainians by starving them to death. When he ordered the shipment of 100% of the grain harvest from Ukraine, which was known as 'the breadbasket of Europe', out of the country to be sold abroad, he issued a death sentence on an entire nation.
His grand design, involved 10 million people (eggs) to be broken (murdered) and was used to effect the 'forced collectivization' of independent small holdings of farmers and to replace private ownership with a Communist grand plan. These plans, one every five years, continued unsuccessfully, until Communism finally disintegrated under the weight of it's own rot and corruption without a shot being fired. Thus ended yet another great experiment at the cost of an 80 year reign of terror.
These two great -isms of the Twentieth Century, one symbolizing the extreme right - Fascism and the other the extreme left - Communism, don't even begin ot talk about the many other tyrannies that have caused and continue to cause untold suffering and pain to hundreds of millions of people in several areas of the world today.
I urge all of us to consider carefully, any comparison of our fairly trivial concerns in this free country. This country is incredibly tolerant in comparison to what many other countries would permit. It affords us all freedom of movement, and perhaps as importantly, freedom of speech which enables you and me to say and do what we want, including criticizing and perhaps even figuratively 'biting' the proverbial hand that feeds us, with our trivial concerns and discontents.
Meanwhile, in far too many other parts of the world, these things are very real experiences. They are taking place amidst many, long and painful conflicts. Some young people in places such as Sri Lanka and Burma for example have been at war for decades. Even when these are not world wars; people are being tortured and killed by others seeking to dominate and assume power over them.
Tragically, once in every generation or so, someone who feels a need for autocratic power seems to arise in one part of the world or another. This person is usually so driven and/or ruthless that other nations need to intervene in the affairs of his country. Sometimes this involves condemnation by organizations of nations - such as the United Nations. In extreme cases, a number of countries need to send armed forces to forcibly stop violence and injustice, when diplomacy and all other forms of censure have failed.
The very freedoms we enjoy in this democratic country ensure our 'right' to exercise free speech and also to peacefully protest. Regardless of the subject of any protest, here in Canada, we are not likely to lose our lives because of the views we express.*
Most of us are law abiding. Few of us are likely to violently assault another person however much we might disagree with them, nor are most of us likely to damage their property or the city around us. In reality, usually the only place we see physical violence is in the movies or on the News. Fortunately most of us in this country continue to go about our business peacefully.
Consequently, neither the great abuses against human rights, nor the suffering which would likely occur, were we to have a war taking place on our own soil, are absent. Pillaging, looting, theft and brutal Piracy are absent as well. Invasion or occupation by another country is not experienced here either.
Anyone thinking or suggesting that the supposed injustice they feel they have experienced in this country is remotely comparable to the mass murder which more than 6 million people experienced in Hitler's Final Solution is trivializing the truly tragic. When millions of people died, whether they were Jews, Gypsies, Homosexuals, Slavs or any other group the Nazis intended to eliminate, we do a disservice to those who suffered immeasurably. Most of us, myself included cannot even imagine ever living through such a time in history ourselves.
It is unconscionable and disgraceful for most of us, in this generation, particularly in North America to carelessly and casual refer to, or actually compare, anyone in our country today to Hitler or Stalin. It is trivial, disgraceful and a travesty. Even a rudimentary knowledge of history illustrates and documents exactly what these Monsters did to millions of people.
The often repeated statement attributed to Lenin, that 'you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs' is just the Communist leaders way of telling us that people's heads and people's lives were worth taking in order to change the society and realize his plan to change Russia and introduce Communism.
His successor Stalin, effected a genocidal murder of 10 million Ukrainians by starving them to death. When he ordered the shipment of 100% of the grain harvest from Ukraine, which was known as 'the breadbasket of Europe', out of the country to be sold abroad, he issued a death sentence on an entire nation.
His grand design, involved 10 million people (eggs) to be broken (murdered) and was used to effect the 'forced collectivization' of independent small holdings of farmers and to replace private ownership with a Communist grand plan. These plans, one every five years, continued unsuccessfully, until Communism finally disintegrated under the weight of it's own rot and corruption without a shot being fired. Thus ended yet another great experiment at the cost of an 80 year reign of terror.
These two great -isms of the Twentieth Century, one symbolizing the extreme right - Fascism and the other the extreme left - Communism, don't even begin ot talk about the many other tyrannies that have caused and continue to cause untold suffering and pain to hundreds of millions of people in several areas of the world today.
I urge all of us to consider carefully, any comparison of our fairly trivial concerns in this free country. This country is incredibly tolerant in comparison to what many other countries would permit. It affords us all freedom of movement, and perhaps as importantly, freedom of speech which enables you and me to say and do what we want, including criticizing and perhaps even figuratively 'biting' the proverbial hand that feeds us, with our trivial concerns and discontents.
Friday 21 October 2011
THE LOVELY WORLD OF THE LITTLE CHILD (FROM 2011)
I really enjoy watching little children. They have these beautiful smiles and chortle sometimes when they laugh. Their spontanaiety is delightful and pure and natural, their laughs come from the belly and are whole hearted.
A little later, their curiosity leads them to try to reach out toward anything and everything. It is not long before they come to the realization that they can get across a room much more quickly if they walk across it. To get to what they want even faster, they soon learn, to run quickly toward what they want, before someone stops them.
Well meaning adults, knowing the dangers of even the 'child proofed' house, try to keep an eye on them wherever they are because they must somehow keep this determined, fast moving, rocket-propelled little bundle of energy, and short concentration, from caroming off into danger.
To these little ones the world is a wonderful place, full of things to see and experience. Some of the big people probably seem a bit weird to them when they speak that funny language adults sometimes use when talking to little children. Other children are good for a laugh with and will become your friends. Family pets, usually let you touch and lie on them.
Life, in short, is a happy place with someone looking after you, and much to see and do.
A little later, their curiosity leads them to try to reach out toward anything and everything. It is not long before they come to the realization that they can get across a room much more quickly if they walk across it. To get to what they want even faster, they soon learn, to run quickly toward what they want, before someone stops them.
Well meaning adults, knowing the dangers of even the 'child proofed' house, try to keep an eye on them wherever they are because they must somehow keep this determined, fast moving, rocket-propelled little bundle of energy, and short concentration, from caroming off into danger.
To these little ones the world is a wonderful place, full of things to see and experience. Some of the big people probably seem a bit weird to them when they speak that funny language adults sometimes use when talking to little children. Other children are good for a laugh with and will become your friends. Family pets, usually let you touch and lie on them.
Life, in short, is a happy place with someone looking after you, and much to see and do.
TRAGIC 20TH CENTURY POLITICAL EXPERIMENTS ( FROM 2011)
The 'isms' at either end of the spectrum, right or left, which so profoundly effected the 20th century, and ravaged it with their need to control the world, have never appealed to me. When introduced to Fascism, Communism and Socialism during my studies at university, I found myself immune to any attempts at indoctrination directed my way.
To this day, Stalin and his ilk, remain oppressors and mass murderers to me. Mao, who strangely continues still to be admired by some, was probably just as bad or worse.
The Communist system, was the reason why none of our family or community was free to ever return to our ancestral homes. The fall of the Berlin Wall was the second D-Day for us. It also signified, the beginning of the end of the godless corruption, which had enslaved, starved to death, and murdered millions of my people, and their fellow sufferers, in my cultural homeland and that of surrounding countries.
Socialism, to me, then and now, is just Communism-lite. After many discussions, I concluded that it's proponents mistrust human nature in general, and specifically their fellow man. Despite considerable evidence to the contrary; they seem to feel that, unless everyone benefits, no one would ever perform a charitable act. The can not conceive that anyone might be selfless towards another person. The idea that someone might do something for someone else, perhaps because it is the right thing to do, is not something they can understand.
Somewhat relentlessly they appear convinced that they know how to improve mankind. If only they could control the wretched excesses and savage brutality of their fellow man, an ideal society might finally be realized. The know they were they able to teach others the way they should live, everyone would be able to live in a better world.
Strangely, they are the only group which is not censured and vilified on the many occasions when they which publicly espouse annihilation of those who disagree with them. Condemning others as mean spirited or practicing genocide or fascism on the other hand, is a regular occurence and rarely merits even a mild comment from the media.
Generally, whatever, the 'ism', paraphrasing Orwell, some pigs will always be more equal than others. The other great 'ism' of the 20th century, Fascism, very graphically demonstrated what the world can expect if we cede our freedoms to tyrants...whatever, disguise they wear.
Nevertheless, human nature being what it is, on the positive side, where civilized man exists, we are also capable of unexpected acts of generosity, heroism, kindness and selflessness. I believe this might one day save us from destruction.
Along the way, whatever we believe, it encourages us to treat our fellow man with some courtesy, consideration, civility and kindness. Even if we must sometimes agree to disagree, on who knows the best way to make man better.
To this day, Stalin and his ilk, remain oppressors and mass murderers to me. Mao, who strangely continues still to be admired by some, was probably just as bad or worse.
The Communist system, was the reason why none of our family or community was free to ever return to our ancestral homes. The fall of the Berlin Wall was the second D-Day for us. It also signified, the beginning of the end of the godless corruption, which had enslaved, starved to death, and murdered millions of my people, and their fellow sufferers, in my cultural homeland and that of surrounding countries.
Socialism, to me, then and now, is just Communism-lite. After many discussions, I concluded that it's proponents mistrust human nature in general, and specifically their fellow man. Despite considerable evidence to the contrary; they seem to feel that, unless everyone benefits, no one would ever perform a charitable act. The can not conceive that anyone might be selfless towards another person. The idea that someone might do something for someone else, perhaps because it is the right thing to do, is not something they can understand.
Somewhat relentlessly they appear convinced that they know how to improve mankind. If only they could control the wretched excesses and savage brutality of their fellow man, an ideal society might finally be realized. The know they were they able to teach others the way they should live, everyone would be able to live in a better world.
Strangely, they are the only group which is not censured and vilified on the many occasions when they which publicly espouse annihilation of those who disagree with them. Condemning others as mean spirited or practicing genocide or fascism on the other hand, is a regular occurence and rarely merits even a mild comment from the media.
Generally, whatever, the 'ism', paraphrasing Orwell, some pigs will always be more equal than others. The other great 'ism' of the 20th century, Fascism, very graphically demonstrated what the world can expect if we cede our freedoms to tyrants...whatever, disguise they wear.
Nevertheless, human nature being what it is, on the positive side, where civilized man exists, we are also capable of unexpected acts of generosity, heroism, kindness and selflessness. I believe this might one day save us from destruction.
Along the way, whatever we believe, it encourages us to treat our fellow man with some courtesy, consideration, civility and kindness. Even if we must sometimes agree to disagree, on who knows the best way to make man better.
Thursday 20 October 2011
MORE STUFF - WHAT WE'RE HOLDING ON TO...AND WHY (FROM 2011)
The things that many of us are bringing home, keeping and even storing, both in our homes, and in storage facilities or Pods we rent, are as varied and various as we are.
Many of these, might be things we have used or worn in the past, but have outgrown. We no longer use them, or possibly no longer even have a use for them.
Other things are probably some of our impulse purchases that turned out to be our buying mistakes. The worst of these are the many things we bought but have never used. They could be considered our mistakes. Admitting we will never use them can be a source of guilt and anger. It is worst when they were expensive. Deciding what to do with these can also be emotionally fraught.
Some of the things we know we will never use will undoubtedly include some which were given to us by others. These may have arrived as gifts. Then again, possibly the reason we have been given them is solely because others felt they no longer needed or wanted them. Considering that some of this stuff came to us as a way for someone else to get rid of their extra 'stuff' might make us consider passing it on again to someone who might have a use for it, since we don't.
Generally, most of these things, could be considered part of the past. They actually might be considered clutter, physically and also mentally. We are using valuable space and energy for what is largely a lot of useless and unused junk.
CLOTHING
Although the four season climate plays a part in the various types of garments we accumulate, most people can probably admit that they have things in their closets they have not worn for some time, if ever.
Men may be quite satisfied with the clothing they possess. The both shock and amuse women with statements such as they will probably never need to buy another thing. We know, of course, that this mainly applies to clothing and not any of their hobbies. However, it is a fact, most men seem to keep, and even have items repaired, until they literally fall apart.
Women on the other hand, have dozens of reasons/excuses to explain why they 'haven't a thing to wear'. Meanwhile, women's closets are usually filled to overflowing. In general, I suspect, that there is not anyone I know that does not have some clothing items that could either go to a 'new home' or be thrown away.
PAPER
All of us, without a doubt have some papers we keep. Whether cards, letters, photographs and other keepsakes from loved ones; financial records from previous months and years, receipts or simply recipes; most of us don't live in a 'paperless world'. This is another accumulation that needs to be kept somewhere.
BOOKS
The dozens or hundreds of books we have read, also require a home. Despite purges and donations to charity and sales to dealers of vast numbers of books, bulging book cases continue to show both a love of reading and a love of keeping stuff.
We, sometimes proudly explain, that we expect to refer to them again someday. When they are souvenirs from trips they are given importance and have memories attached to them. Still other books are ones that we are certain we will read or reread when we have the free time to do this. Whatever the explanation/excuse, pretty soon, more bookcases are needed to hold this 'treasure trove'.
In my case, at one point in my life, it seemed the book collection was growing by a bookcase a month and soon became a library housed in the largest room. While admittedly, this gave me some pleasure and satisfaction, in reality, several hundred of these, while a collection, were no longer either referred to or even looked at.
MEMORABILIA - MISCELLANEOUS TRASH AND TREASURES
One man's trash is another man's treasure. Those crystal bowls, the third or fourth sets of china or crystal and many things, beautiful or not, become special to us and we hold onto them. Some of these, still in their original boxes are noticed only when we see them in passing...while looking for something we are actually going to use.
Because we don't entertain as formally as earlier generations, many antiques require an effort to clean, set up and dismantle them again for storage. It all seems like a lot of trouble to all but the most determined host/hostess. Many nice things consequently sit in drawers and are often stored away for years unused.
APPLIANCES AND TOOLS
Someday that special grill, bread maker, chopper, exercise system; almost any 'special' item we bought at the exhibition or from television, ends up stored somewhere, either in its original box or on a shelf.
Broken items, we thought we might someday repair, or parts we are keeping for future repairs and old technology items, are probably all things we should either finally Srepair or discard.
Packaging, such as elegant department store shopping bags and boxes, seem something women especially love to hang on to.
All of these are ultimately more things, we need to find a place to store.
MAKING A CLEAN SWEEP
The 'Spring Cleaning' can be renamed to suit the day or season when we finally decide to reduce, reuse or recycle the unused/unusable items we have accumulated. It will clear our closets, reorganize and simplify our lives, let us pass on things to others and in general, restore some order to our lives. Everyone benefits.
Note: See also blogs: October 2011 "Stuff-Possessed by our Possessions?" and March 2013 "Time to rate your priorities".
Many of these, might be things we have used or worn in the past, but have outgrown. We no longer use them, or possibly no longer even have a use for them.
Other things are probably some of our impulse purchases that turned out to be our buying mistakes. The worst of these are the many things we bought but have never used. They could be considered our mistakes. Admitting we will never use them can be a source of guilt and anger. It is worst when they were expensive. Deciding what to do with these can also be emotionally fraught.
Some of the things we know we will never use will undoubtedly include some which were given to us by others. These may have arrived as gifts. Then again, possibly the reason we have been given them is solely because others felt they no longer needed or wanted them. Considering that some of this stuff came to us as a way for someone else to get rid of their extra 'stuff' might make us consider passing it on again to someone who might have a use for it, since we don't.
Generally, most of these things, could be considered part of the past. They actually might be considered clutter, physically and also mentally. We are using valuable space and energy for what is largely a lot of useless and unused junk.
CLOTHING
Although the four season climate plays a part in the various types of garments we accumulate, most people can probably admit that they have things in their closets they have not worn for some time, if ever.
Men may be quite satisfied with the clothing they possess. The both shock and amuse women with statements such as they will probably never need to buy another thing. We know, of course, that this mainly applies to clothing and not any of their hobbies. However, it is a fact, most men seem to keep, and even have items repaired, until they literally fall apart.
Women on the other hand, have dozens of reasons/excuses to explain why they 'haven't a thing to wear'. Meanwhile, women's closets are usually filled to overflowing. In general, I suspect, that there is not anyone I know that does not have some clothing items that could either go to a 'new home' or be thrown away.
PAPER
All of us, without a doubt have some papers we keep. Whether cards, letters, photographs and other keepsakes from loved ones; financial records from previous months and years, receipts or simply recipes; most of us don't live in a 'paperless world'. This is another accumulation that needs to be kept somewhere.
BOOKS
The dozens or hundreds of books we have read, also require a home. Despite purges and donations to charity and sales to dealers of vast numbers of books, bulging book cases continue to show both a love of reading and a love of keeping stuff.
We, sometimes proudly explain, that we expect to refer to them again someday. When they are souvenirs from trips they are given importance and have memories attached to them. Still other books are ones that we are certain we will read or reread when we have the free time to do this. Whatever the explanation/excuse, pretty soon, more bookcases are needed to hold this 'treasure trove'.
In my case, at one point in my life, it seemed the book collection was growing by a bookcase a month and soon became a library housed in the largest room. While admittedly, this gave me some pleasure and satisfaction, in reality, several hundred of these, while a collection, were no longer either referred to or even looked at.
MEMORABILIA - MISCELLANEOUS TRASH AND TREASURES
One man's trash is another man's treasure. Those crystal bowls, the third or fourth sets of china or crystal and many things, beautiful or not, become special to us and we hold onto them. Some of these, still in their original boxes are noticed only when we see them in passing...while looking for something we are actually going to use.
Because we don't entertain as formally as earlier generations, many antiques require an effort to clean, set up and dismantle them again for storage. It all seems like a lot of trouble to all but the most determined host/hostess. Many nice things consequently sit in drawers and are often stored away for years unused.
APPLIANCES AND TOOLS
Someday that special grill, bread maker, chopper, exercise system; almost any 'special' item we bought at the exhibition or from television, ends up stored somewhere, either in its original box or on a shelf.
Broken items, we thought we might someday repair, or parts we are keeping for future repairs and old technology items, are probably all things we should either finally Srepair or discard.
Packaging, such as elegant department store shopping bags and boxes, seem something women especially love to hang on to.
All of these are ultimately more things, we need to find a place to store.
MAKING A CLEAN SWEEP
The 'Spring Cleaning' can be renamed to suit the day or season when we finally decide to reduce, reuse or recycle the unused/unusable items we have accumulated. It will clear our closets, reorganize and simplify our lives, let us pass on things to others and in general, restore some order to our lives. Everyone benefits.
Note: See also blogs: October 2011 "Stuff-Possessed by our Possessions?" and March 2013 "Time to rate your priorities".
STUFF - POSSESSED BY OUR POSSESSIONS? (FROM 2011)
This is the time of year when I feel particularly heavy. As I pull out warmer and heavier winter clothing, I find myself feeling weighed down by my possessions. I feel a bit overwhelmed by how much I have accumulated. I realize that another season is upon us and that there are a lot of things I had intended to sort out and still haven't done. I feel that I still have way too much stuff.
WHAT ARE WE GETTING FROM ALL THIS STUFF?
IDENTITY
Understandably some of our possessions contribute to who we are, where we have been and give us an identity. They reflect the lifestyle we live, to some extent indicate our accomplishments in life, show others our taste, and, in our attire, create the first impression people have of us.
A recent television ad for online security asks, 'Where would we be without our stuff?'
Some of us occasionally even wonder whether planned obsolescence is making the whole of our society expendable; whether we really have lost our values and have become defined more by our possessions or the technology we use than by who we are and what we stand for.
North America in particular is often referred to as a consumer oriented and consuming society.
Some, maybe even most, of the money we have earned has gone/goes into buying things to make our homes and lives both more comfortable and convenient.
Buying and using things is not likely a problem by itself. It becomes one when we become defined by our possessions. What we own and keep, particularly if those things are items we never use, says a great deal about us and how we define ourselves. .
PRESERVING OUR PAST
Generally, most of our things, could be considered part of our history, part of our past. They actually might better be considered clutter, physically and also mentally. We are using valuable space and energy for what is largely a lot of useless and unused junk.
Many of us, either publicly or privately can probably admit and acknowledge that, we are buying and keeping too much stuff. In extreme cases, this accumulating of possessions becomes Hoarding; usually however, it means most of us keep boxes of things we have kept because we intend to sort them out someday. Generally, it means that a great deal of what we own doesn't get used because most of us have more than we need. In some cases, we may not remember exactly what we already have.
NEVERTHELESS, WE ARE KEEPING A TON OF STUFF
Most of us have accumulated hundreds of possessions. Among the things most of us have are clothing, memorabilia - whether trash or treasure; appliances and tools - time savers we may pretend we'll some day use; knick knacks, presents we have received, photo albums; lots of paper - whether old receipts; records we think we might need again; vast numbers of books - which we have read or intend to read. We even keep things that are broken (which we intended to repair) remnants of old technologies and a lot of 'bits and pieces'.
Suddenly we have accumulated, often literally, a ton of 'stuff'. Before you know it, we need more storage.
ARE WE AFRAID TO GIVE AWAY TOO MUCH?
Would your home become a sterile and barren 'echo chamber', too empty, if you give too much away? Maybe, at some point it might seem too empty, but right now it is probably too full.
Perhaps, however, it might instead become a place where you could read those books, enjoy beautiful things you have accumulated over the years. It might also finally become possible to really see yourself reflected in things you both love and use?
SO WHAT DO WE DO WITH ALL THIS STUFF?
Is there a way to just keep the things that we both love and use while we would sell, give away, donate or re gift the rest; or do we just rent more storage spaces or Pods and go out and buy some more?
There are many, many services offering to take 'junk' off your hands for a price. They exist obviously because, other people have the same problems with their 'stuff' that we do.
If we are bold or daring, we can pay someone to come in and take it all away; be brave and not even look. Just rid ourselves of the lot. We might do this by assuring ourselves we will feel freer, unburdened and happier. It may be a way to 'begin again' and 'make a fresh start', we might tell ourselves.
Although, I would be impressed by someone doing a purge of everything, sight unseen. In reality I can't see that many of us would not want to 'sort through our boxes' before we disposed of them.
More sensibly, eventually a time will come when we find ourselves ready to sort our possessions. When this happens, it might be wise to decide that we intend to actually purge old unused items and papers not just re box the partly sorted piles of things?
We could also call someone objective (a friend or a professional) to help us sort through our things.
Although this could apply to anything we have accumulated, it works especially well when considering clothing.
Having some help in sorting out what realize we aren't using any longer, it can also help us also to question our attachment and the usefulness of other things we have held onto for a very long time.
Whatever we no longer want or need, we can donate, sell, swap or give to our friends. What we have left will probably improve our home and be more useful to us.
At least, we will need less storage space when we are done. At worst, we may have become organized 'pack rats' with colour coded and themed storage.
Whatever our personal solutions to the problem our possessions might pose, starting today, we could lose a lot of weight and worry by purging and resorting the things we have. We might also redefine ourselves better, and more accurately reflect the life we are now living. Sounds like a plan.
Note: see another Blog - "Time to rate your priorities" from March 31,2013.
WHAT ARE WE GETTING FROM ALL THIS STUFF?
IDENTITY
Understandably some of our possessions contribute to who we are, where we have been and give us an identity. They reflect the lifestyle we live, to some extent indicate our accomplishments in life, show others our taste, and, in our attire, create the first impression people have of us.
A recent television ad for online security asks, 'Where would we be without our stuff?'
Some of us occasionally even wonder whether planned obsolescence is making the whole of our society expendable; whether we really have lost our values and have become defined more by our possessions or the technology we use than by who we are and what we stand for.
North America in particular is often referred to as a consumer oriented and consuming society.
Some, maybe even most, of the money we have earned has gone/goes into buying things to make our homes and lives both more comfortable and convenient.
Buying and using things is not likely a problem by itself. It becomes one when we become defined by our possessions. What we own and keep, particularly if those things are items we never use, says a great deal about us and how we define ourselves. .
PRESERVING OUR PAST
Generally, most of our things, could be considered part of our history, part of our past. They actually might better be considered clutter, physically and also mentally. We are using valuable space and energy for what is largely a lot of useless and unused junk.
Many of us, either publicly or privately can probably admit and acknowledge that, we are buying and keeping too much stuff. In extreme cases, this accumulating of possessions becomes Hoarding; usually however, it means most of us keep boxes of things we have kept because we intend to sort them out someday. Generally, it means that a great deal of what we own doesn't get used because most of us have more than we need. In some cases, we may not remember exactly what we already have.
NEVERTHELESS, WE ARE KEEPING A TON OF STUFF
Most of us have accumulated hundreds of possessions. Among the things most of us have are clothing, memorabilia - whether trash or treasure; appliances and tools - time savers we may pretend we'll some day use; knick knacks, presents we have received, photo albums; lots of paper - whether old receipts; records we think we might need again; vast numbers of books - which we have read or intend to read. We even keep things that are broken (which we intended to repair) remnants of old technologies and a lot of 'bits and pieces'.
Suddenly we have accumulated, often literally, a ton of 'stuff'. Before you know it, we need more storage.
ARE WE AFRAID TO GIVE AWAY TOO MUCH?
Would your home become a sterile and barren 'echo chamber', too empty, if you give too much away? Maybe, at some point it might seem too empty, but right now it is probably too full.
Perhaps, however, it might instead become a place where you could read those books, enjoy beautiful things you have accumulated over the years. It might also finally become possible to really see yourself reflected in things you both love and use?
SO WHAT DO WE DO WITH ALL THIS STUFF?
Is there a way to just keep the things that we both love and use while we would sell, give away, donate or re gift the rest; or do we just rent more storage spaces or Pods and go out and buy some more?
There are many, many services offering to take 'junk' off your hands for a price. They exist obviously because, other people have the same problems with their 'stuff' that we do.
If we are bold or daring, we can pay someone to come in and take it all away; be brave and not even look. Just rid ourselves of the lot. We might do this by assuring ourselves we will feel freer, unburdened and happier. It may be a way to 'begin again' and 'make a fresh start', we might tell ourselves.
Although, I would be impressed by someone doing a purge of everything, sight unseen. In reality I can't see that many of us would not want to 'sort through our boxes' before we disposed of them.
More sensibly, eventually a time will come when we find ourselves ready to sort our possessions. When this happens, it might be wise to decide that we intend to actually purge old unused items and papers not just re box the partly sorted piles of things?
We could also call someone objective (a friend or a professional) to help us sort through our things.
Although this could apply to anything we have accumulated, it works especially well when considering clothing.
Having some help in sorting out what realize we aren't using any longer, it can also help us also to question our attachment and the usefulness of other things we have held onto for a very long time.
Whatever we no longer want or need, we can donate, sell, swap or give to our friends. What we have left will probably improve our home and be more useful to us.
At least, we will need less storage space when we are done. At worst, we may have become organized 'pack rats' with colour coded and themed storage.
Whatever our personal solutions to the problem our possessions might pose, starting today, we could lose a lot of weight and worry by purging and resorting the things we have. We might also redefine ourselves better, and more accurately reflect the life we are now living. Sounds like a plan.
Note: see another Blog - "Time to rate your priorities" from March 31,2013.
Saturday 15 October 2011
INITIAL THOUGHTS
INTRODUCING MYSELF - OCTOBER 15TH, 2011
One thing I've learned over the years is, taking a break from taking myself so seriously, works wonders.
Every once in a while, after a great bout of angst and high drama (either from those around me or of my own creation), I take a look in the mirror (usually at 3 a.m.) and laugh at the silliness of it all.
The large issues in life come up and we prepare for them. 'The Small Stuff' however, is much more likely to sneak up on you both unexpectedly and usually very inconveniently.
Strangely enough, it is this 'small stuff' which makes each day different from the one before, by making it varied and interesting. It can also help to revive our hopes and expectations and makes it easier to believe, as I now do, that the next miracle might be just around the next corner.
As I get older and let fewer things/people actively bother me, I have, somehow, to my surprise, become more optimistic about life. I know who I am and realize I don't need to be told who that is.
I have also learned that having some company and input from others is also good, to make it possible to see beyond my own line of sight, and keep my ideas from becoming limited to my own limitations.
Anyway, I think that there is only so much 'gnashing of teeth' and 'rending of raiment' and other highly dramatic self indulgence that is sensible, before we need to dust ourselves off and get on with 'real life'.
Having survived two kinds of cancers, which were treated aggressively to destroy them, I know I am lucky. People often laugh when I tell them to be hopeful, that 'its 11 years for me and here I am still talking crap'. Lucky yes, but also appreciative at having been given so much.
The loss of my beloved husband, was monumental and catacysmic. But, the incredible memories are always with me in my thoughts and in my heart. Any wistfulness concerns a partnership that was a real 'friends with benefits', both passionate and a 'mutual admiration society'. The shared intellectual coherence is among the things which I miss most.
Nevertheless, when I get up in the morning, there is happiness in knowing that there is light and sun and life going on around me.
To appreciate life, requires only that you take the first step and choose to participate in the world around you.
One of the many 'miracles' that reminded me that life among the living was a beautiful thing was to find how easily my 'wish list' was realized. It required however, that I make a leap of faith and buy the airplane tickets. To do this I had to leave behind 20 years indulging/being paralyzed by, a fear of flying.
This was one of the first of many steps that I took to move back into actively living. This is something within our power in time. It requires us to choose to replace brooding, inertia, dramatic self indulgence, and begin again to look beyond ourselves.
There really is a time for every purpose and some parts of moving toward the next purpose we have is looking around you again.
It is also important to acknowledge and appreciate the blessings we have been given.
It can also be constructive to think again of giving something back to others. Nothing takes you out of introspection better than looking outward beyond ourselves.
People helped me with so many of the initial steps I took to return to life. We visited with each other, saw films, broke bread together, laughed and sometimes cried together.
Beyond this, I needed to take some actions independently to put a first foot forward, in the direction of the future. Once I did this, much happiness was within my grasp.
Travel really does broaden one's perspective and, like so many others, it did for me. Travelling independently again for the first time in so many years, I ate my first Basque Ham, was treated to both yellow and green Izzara liqueurs, was given a taste of foie gras in a French specialty food shop, and extra Sorbet by a very famous restaurant on the Champs Elysee's. I sublimely escaped the 40 degree centigrade heat in the cellar tour of Moet et Chandon and marvelled at the 'spirit' of Dom Perignon's village church.
In short, a world awaited my steps into it. Much more fell into place, once I let go a bit of the past.
By the way, touring Windsor Castle, Oxford, Cambridge, Buckingham Palace, the Yacht Britannia, the Musee D'Orsay, the Louvre and the Eiffel Tower, weren't bad either.
Perhaps, poignantly, best of all, among all the places I had heard about during my life and put on my 'Bucket/Wish List', were the places where my husband went to school and grew up. Once more an entire 'world' was about to open before me.
Life to me is so full of miracles, just around the next corner, the biggest perhaps being that it isn't over yet.
More later.
Emme
One thing I've learned over the years is, taking a break from taking myself so seriously, works wonders.
Every once in a while, after a great bout of angst and high drama (either from those around me or of my own creation), I take a look in the mirror (usually at 3 a.m.) and laugh at the silliness of it all.
The large issues in life come up and we prepare for them. 'The Small Stuff' however, is much more likely to sneak up on you both unexpectedly and usually very inconveniently.
Strangely enough, it is this 'small stuff' which makes each day different from the one before, by making it varied and interesting. It can also help to revive our hopes and expectations and makes it easier to believe, as I now do, that the next miracle might be just around the next corner.
As I get older and let fewer things/people actively bother me, I have, somehow, to my surprise, become more optimistic about life. I know who I am and realize I don't need to be told who that is.
I have also learned that having some company and input from others is also good, to make it possible to see beyond my own line of sight, and keep my ideas from becoming limited to my own limitations.
Anyway, I think that there is only so much 'gnashing of teeth' and 'rending of raiment' and other highly dramatic self indulgence that is sensible, before we need to dust ourselves off and get on with 'real life'.
Having survived two kinds of cancers, which were treated aggressively to destroy them, I know I am lucky. People often laugh when I tell them to be hopeful, that 'its 11 years for me and here I am still talking crap'. Lucky yes, but also appreciative at having been given so much.
The loss of my beloved husband, was monumental and catacysmic. But, the incredible memories are always with me in my thoughts and in my heart. Any wistfulness concerns a partnership that was a real 'friends with benefits', both passionate and a 'mutual admiration society'. The shared intellectual coherence is among the things which I miss most.
Nevertheless, when I get up in the morning, there is happiness in knowing that there is light and sun and life going on around me.
To appreciate life, requires only that you take the first step and choose to participate in the world around you.
One of the many 'miracles' that reminded me that life among the living was a beautiful thing was to find how easily my 'wish list' was realized. It required however, that I make a leap of faith and buy the airplane tickets. To do this I had to leave behind 20 years indulging/being paralyzed by, a fear of flying.
This was one of the first of many steps that I took to move back into actively living. This is something within our power in time. It requires us to choose to replace brooding, inertia, dramatic self indulgence, and begin again to look beyond ourselves.
There really is a time for every purpose and some parts of moving toward the next purpose we have is looking around you again.
It is also important to acknowledge and appreciate the blessings we have been given.
It can also be constructive to think again of giving something back to others. Nothing takes you out of introspection better than looking outward beyond ourselves.
People helped me with so many of the initial steps I took to return to life. We visited with each other, saw films, broke bread together, laughed and sometimes cried together.
Beyond this, I needed to take some actions independently to put a first foot forward, in the direction of the future. Once I did this, much happiness was within my grasp.
Travel really does broaden one's perspective and, like so many others, it did for me. Travelling independently again for the first time in so many years, I ate my first Basque Ham, was treated to both yellow and green Izzara liqueurs, was given a taste of foie gras in a French specialty food shop, and extra Sorbet by a very famous restaurant on the Champs Elysee's. I sublimely escaped the 40 degree centigrade heat in the cellar tour of Moet et Chandon and marvelled at the 'spirit' of Dom Perignon's village church.
In short, a world awaited my steps into it. Much more fell into place, once I let go a bit of the past.
By the way, touring Windsor Castle, Oxford, Cambridge, Buckingham Palace, the Yacht Britannia, the Musee D'Orsay, the Louvre and the Eiffel Tower, weren't bad either.
Perhaps, poignantly, best of all, among all the places I had heard about during my life and put on my 'Bucket/Wish List', were the places where my husband went to school and grew up. Once more an entire 'world' was about to open before me.
Life to me is so full of miracles, just around the next corner, the biggest perhaps being that it isn't over yet.
More later.
Emme
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