LIFE IS A BANQUET

The actress Rosalind Russell starred in many movies during her long career. She also wrote a biography titled: Life is a Banquet. 

In the original 1958 movie 'Mame', a character says that Auntie Mame says "Life is a Banquet but most poor Bastards are starving to death". 

I think this is a great perspective to have about life and most of the time now, somewhat to my surprise, I find it easier than I ever have to feel this way about life in general.

However, in mid to late winter, when the Northern Hemisphere is being smacked down by one of the worst Winters in decades, I among those loaded down with grim, pinched faces at the moment. We are dragging ourselves through the February blahs. 

The winter has been with us long enough to be past any pleasure that first snow fall (now a distant memory) may have brought out in us. 

A White Christmas, Pooh. Whatever made that seem a nice idea? All too white this Christmas. For many, without heat or power too.

However, whatever you feel on yet another snowy winter's day, soon life will take us into another day and another week and another season. Another turn of the wheel of life. 

The passage of time brings with it a lifetime of various experiences. Even as winter gave us snow today, and I was really late for a medical specialist's appointment and needed to spend $20 for a taxi; as I stood waiting, I was outside, and not cold at all.

Better still, unlike the domino effect, of starting late and appointment after appointment going wrong and being late all day for all of them; being late from the first made me late for the second, BUT, the rest of the day went well.

I think so much of living, especially when times are trying and the very world seems to not make sense, is going to depend more and more on our personal perspective and view of our lives. I am convinced that letting our priorities and perspective quickly reassert themselves, will keep us on an even keel whatever is going on around us.

Maybe sometimes, we are going to need to 'fake it till you make it' and take a deep breath and put on a cheerful face until we feel better. However, I think it is the easiest way to feel that our lives are moving in the right direction. 

Nevertheless, in the immediate future, I am beginning to think that now more than ever, 'We can use a little Christmas, now' (a phrase and song from the Mame movie). The spirit that, that time of year seems to bring out in so many of us, might be just the thing to evoke and remember now and use to pull us along. 

Until the weather decides we can put our winter garments and mid February blahs, away for another year, we may have to give our attitude a little positive pushup. 

The good thing is there are fewer than 5 weeks till spring plus a few more days of the Winter Olympics to justify and experience in the warm indoors.

IMPORTANT DAYS OF THE YEAR

Recently we celebrated and experienced Valentine's Day again. Whether we see Valentine's Day as a great day or we experience it in one of the ways the VALENTINE'S DAY movie did, with many different good and bad experiences; Valentine's Day has come to mean something to each of us as a yearly rite of passage.

Since I am someone who has had good and not so great Valentine's Days, whether involved with someone or not, I also understand the other movie, I HATE VALENTINE'S DAY.

Life, I find is a mixture of good and bad, happy and sad, highs and lows. Generally the idea of a 'Ying' matching up opposite every 'Yang' in life, seems somehow fitting. How else would we understand the differences in life without the opposite.

The events in the year that mark it's passage include some days important to us personally. For many of us New Year's Day and our Birthday are pretty important. Other holidays, especially Civic holidays such as Memorial or Labour Days mean a holiday from work for most of us, but are not personally significant.

What makes the landmark days important though are the yearly appearance throughout our lives and the way they bookmark our lives. I am glad they exist.

Whether some years, an event was a good one or another year, terribly sad for me personally, I am glad I can remember many, many of them and reflect on my life then. I think sometimes of the many people who I met and knew, as well as, people I met and still know. Best of all, I feel happy that I have more of these days to look forward to making new memories on.

WISHING YOU AND THOSE YOU LOVE AND REMEMBER MANY, MANY MORE MEMORIES, as well as, many years to reflect upon.

NOTHING TO DO WITH ME

As I get older, it strikes me often that, a lot of things happening around me, having nothing to do with me.

Does this mean I have stopped caring about life? I don't think so. 

Usually this means that rather than thinking someone else's bad day is my fault or making it a problem of mine by being effected by them; I am able to see that much of what someone else does or says has more to do with where they are at, than with me.

When we are younger, we are often the centre of our own universe. Everything is subjective, particularly when we are children. Even as teenagers, self consciousness predominates. We see most of what happens around us by how it effects us.

It is only when we are older, I think, that sometimes we realize that what happens in our lives, and especially in the wider world, like it or not, actually is not effected by our efforts or opinions. 

The world keeps revolving and life keeps happening and time keeps passing, whether we like it or not. I am actually encouraged by this. Strange as it may seem, I can go on being myself because of it.

Whether someone I barely know, likes me or my clothes or ideas, becomes irrelevant. Do you know why? Simple actually. I know myself. Better yet, I like myself. I like who I am and who I have become. 

Being grown up and having a personality and character and experience is a big help towards accepting yourself and your own identity. 

Time has taught me the valuable lessons I needed to know such as knowing who I am and what I believe in. Experience has taught me what is important in life. 

Most importantly, I am encouraged and confident because I have people in my life who know me and accept me as I am. 

No wonder then, when some stranger growls or glares at me or rudely pushes past me, I chock it up to their getting up on the wrong side of the bed, missing their morning coffee, being late or simply neurotic. 

I remind myself that among other things, how someone else behaves is none of my business. Not only is it none of my business, but it is also not my concern. Furthermore, it usually has nothing to do with me.

What I do instead, is go back to my own happier thoughts of the nice day I hope and expect to have. 

Life is so much easier when you don't spend too much of your own valuable time, trying to solve everyone else's problems, especially those which have nothing to do with you anyway. 

HINDSIGHT IS 20/20...BUT

How many times have we wished we could have a crystal ball in front of us to tell us how something would work out. 

More often though, it is only after something has happened that we are able to see the result of our actions. It is then that we wish we could have known to avoid certain people and situations. We tell ourselves that we could have saved ourselves a lot of trouble, IF ONLY we had 'known better'. 

Usually the benefit of hindsight is that it lets us see how something might have been different IF ONLY we knew then what we know now.

Let's face it, few of us are chagrined or dismayed by happy results. We are very willing to accept and enjoy them.  

I propose though that hindsight can be valuable too. I think this is so because it explains that a period of time that seemed hard actually helped us quite a lot.

At the very least, overcoming or coming out of a difficult period shows us it is possible. 

Quite often also, in retrospect, we see how something we thought we really wanted, was definitely the wrong thing for us. 

The things that we choose, and those things and people which we sometimes feel (almost) choose us, make us the people we are and influence who we become. 

Experience is the best teacher, but hindsight is the best tool to reflect upon the results of previous decisions we made. It tells us which pitfalls to avoid in the future. Best of all, it can help us to recognize and appreciate, just how far we have come.