Most of us have heard the KISS acronym at one time or another. Keep It Simple Stupid resonates especially when we are in the middle of a muddle. Suddenly we find ourselves asking, Why did I not think this out before I started it?
Why did I: ever start this project; empty out my cupboards; lift that heavy piece of furniture; decide to say that, and a myriad of other things that we might have thought about doing rather than plunging into. Get involved with Mr. (not quite) Right again.
An ideal thing in life would probably be to have what you want and want what you have. If you had what you wanted and you wanted only what you had, you might have the prescription for life in total balance and happiness.
How to Want what you Have-Discovering the Magic and Grandeur of Ordinary Existence by Timothy Miller's seemed a promising book. I really like the idea of wanting what I have and being satisfied. He suggests cognitive theory and mantras to work against our inherent desire to always want more.
I personally decided to simplify my life over 20 years ago, with determination and good intentions. It will be something I plan to always work on.
There are definitely some things we can get out of our lives immediately, by learning to control and let go of bitterness and anger against someone we feel has disappointed us, or done something hurtful or wrong to us.
Almost everyone I know has someone in their lives who we wish treated us differently. We hoped that this person could have understood and appreciated us. If they only had, they could then could have given us what we wish they could. Sometimes, we keep hoping for years, that maybe someday they still might.
Meanwhile, the only thing being angry and/or bitterly disappointed does, is make us unhappy. It may also drive that person and many others away from us forever.
Forgiving, or at least, trying to forgive others we feel have hurt us, frees us to forgive ourselves for the time we have actually wasted being negative. It may also lets us regain a positive outlook and determine to proceed ahead with more optimism and hope. Once we let go of these feelings and stop upsetting ourselves about them, we can finally move forward.
The Serenity Prayer, by Reinhold Niebuhr, in its first paragraph, talks about accepting the things you cannot change, finding the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference. It is known as the prayer that Alcoholics Anonymous uses.
"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference".
Only we can make the changes necessary to improve our own lives. This takes courage, because to truly change, we need to venture out of our familiar routine and 'comfort zone'. Usually we will need to do something we have been afraid to do.
Sometimes thinking about what might happen if we dared, and actually did, that thing we postponed doing for a long time, might give us the incentive and confidence to, at least, give it a try. We might actually succeed. At the very least, we might have tried something new and been pleasantly surprised that we liked it.
If you can't start with emotional housecleaning, then begin with material things. When you can, move into your reactions, responses, attitudes and behaviour. If nothing else, both your home and your mind will be less cluttered...but probably a lot more will be improved.
We occasionally see someone who has regained a lot of the freedom and the carefree attitude that we last remember seeing in ourselves when we were young children. Maybe with a few steps in the right direction, we might sometime soon begin to see a person like that when we look in the mirror.
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