BLESSED WITH THE GIFT OF FAITH

I am not holy. No one who has ever met me, ever saw even a Halo costume. No one has ever called me an Angel either. I hope not the contrary, either though.

I grew up in a family in which one member held a high position in our church. I grew up always feeling obligated to 'not let the side down' as the British would say, meaning, to behave in a way as to not disgrace my parents in front of our community.

I know that by the time I was 10 years old, I was already protective and cautious about what I said in public. I know this because someone, I considered an awful person when I was about 15, told me he remembered me stopping my brother from speaking freely, several years before. 

Nevertheless, years passed, I was on my own in university and in an atmosphere where nothing I had been taught or valued, seemed important.
I met people of every religion, and often, no religion at all. 

One day, when I was about 18, I told a priest that, I had, just (that moment) lost my faith. I had come to doubt that the people around me were really honest and that there was too much ritual in our church. 

Unfortunately, my quiet declaration was made in a car full of people on a long trip to Northern Ontario. Though, most of the people would probably have been more concerned with the very stinky perfume I spilt, than any serious talk I might have had, I was told this was not the time (to talk about what I was feeling).

Several years later, a lot had happened. I had read about a lot of other people's religious beliefs in several of the world's major religions. I had gone 'back to basics', read the bible through once, even the Old Testament.
I had started with only things that I believe were said by God and Christ. For a while only the Lord's Prayer and the Ten Commandments were what I believed.

Now so many years later, I have a very strong faith. I don't follow what I think of as 'the rules'. I don't know that anyone would say I was doing everything right or not.

I came to think of people around me as people who believed in something and people who believed in nothing. The latter were people who therefore, might believe anything.

When someone I know once said they were better Christians than I was, I thought it was quite possible. I do my best. Maybe I could do more.

I would like to think that life is not as clearly defined into two groups on religious beliefs or anything else. Bad things have been done in the name of religion and bad things had been done by others to persecute and kill people born into a religion.

However, what I still have today, is the gift of belief, which I call Faith. It gives me support and encouragement in times of trouble. I am grateful and consider it a miracle that I have am blessed in this way. Amen.