I don't think there are many people who could say that they always do what they want. Life as we know it involves adjustments and compromises. One of our most important skills we must learn is to cooperate with others. This makes it possible for us to have enough time and energy to do all of the things we must do each day.
After working to earn a living, all of us want to have some time left to do some of the things we personally want to do as well. Most of us know this as 'free time'. We need to have or find enough time so that we can feel we can do what we must, as well as, what we want.
Since most of us like to have friends and families in our lives, we need to find a way to cooperate with others and schedule time for our relationships to develop and be maintained. Making some plans to meet and having enough time to spend with those we care about, makes for a good time and good relationships.
Some people I know are always racing around. Whether I think about their lives 10 years ago or last week, I notice that they fill their lives with activity. Some of them appear to have hardly a moment free. I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing.
People with a high level of energy are able to do many things in a given amount of time. They also may require a degree of activity greater than others to feel stimulated and satisfied. When this is a choice, I admire them; when it is frenetic disorganization, it is sad that no one in their lives gets to spend enough time with them to mean much.
The other alternative at the extreme is the person so laid back and aimless that whole weeks go by without much being accomplished. There is a danger that these people will find that as the Pink Floyd song says, 'no one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun' and 'then one day you'll find, ten years have gone behind you'.
Sometimes, this life ends in despair or even worse, in tragedy, when they realize many years have passed with their hopes and dreams unfulfilled. They might also find themselves alone, because other people have moved on and left them behind.
Neither of the two extremes frantic/frenetic or laid back/comatose are likely to be successful.
Personal fulfilment and satisfaction come, I think, from achieving your personal goals. You can't achieve your goals and fulfil your dreams without defining them, or if you only have a vague idea of what they are. It is only after you decide to take an objective look at yourself that you stop running your life on autopilot.
The best way for each of us to get the things we need done each day, and also to free up enough time to fulfil some of our personal wants, is to think about what will make us happiest and head in that direction.
Once we have some idea of who we are and what we really want, we can decide which things we have been doing which eat up our time and waste our energy. Some of these we could probably eliminate immediately. Others we might combine together and by using our time more efficiently, multitask and combine a number of activities by doing a series of them in one trip.
Both knowing what we want, we have more of a chance to get it. Be wasting less time running in circles we can take steps toward doing something we always wanted to do.
Soon it will be easy to see that by making our dreams a reality, we are not letting anybody down. In fact, by picking ourselves up, we are bringing more, not less, to our day and, that of everyone around us.
Sunday 31 March 2013
SPRING CLEANING YOUR LIFE - TIME TO RATE YOUR PRIORITIES
Many years ago a Toronto newspaper published a brief article titled 'Time to Rate your priorities'. This article listed 10 points you could use to evaluate and reassess what is important in your life. I kept the article and seasonally would pull it out to remind myself to do this. In fact, I often put a copy up in the photocopier room of whatever office I was working in.
It is surprising what you can do when you decide to 'spring clean' your life. Much like trying on the upcoming seasons clothes and cleaning up and storing away those of the previous season, this is housecleaning for your mind.
Decluttering your home is good, decluttering and realigning your priorities is ultimately even better.
The clutter we accumulate in boxes, on counters, tables and around us, is symptomatic of the clutter we have accumulated in our lives. This clutter, distracts us from a lot of other things we might be doing...if only we could 'find' the time. Meanwhile, most of us also carry around a lot of baggage from our past, physically and mentally. This 'unfinished business' can keep us from realizing our goals and dreams.
Just as some of our clothes may no longer fit or have become worn out, our ideas, like our possessions, might no longer be useful or 'fit' our lives as we live now. It seems it is only when we physically move to a new house that we are forced to find a place for our possessions. We are often very surprised to look at an object that we own and suddenly realize that we have not ever used this item.
Following time wasting old routines automatically and thoughtlessly, can actually make it impossible to do even the smallest thing on our 'bucket list'. Suddenly, by making a change to our routine, there is room for a growing number of things we have always wanted to do. It is amazing how much time you have available for other things when you decide not to follow the same routine you always have.
Just as periodically decluttering your home begins by sorting out things to keep, recycle and throw out; sorting out your priorities, can make it possible for you to do more of what you really want and make your life 'fit' better. The first step is the hardest. It is also the one which takes your forward into the next part of your life.
Note: See also blog of "Stuff - Possessed by our Possessions? - October 20, 2011.
It is surprising what you can do when you decide to 'spring clean' your life. Much like trying on the upcoming seasons clothes and cleaning up and storing away those of the previous season, this is housecleaning for your mind.
Decluttering your home is good, decluttering and realigning your priorities is ultimately even better.
The clutter we accumulate in boxes, on counters, tables and around us, is symptomatic of the clutter we have accumulated in our lives. This clutter, distracts us from a lot of other things we might be doing...if only we could 'find' the time. Meanwhile, most of us also carry around a lot of baggage from our past, physically and mentally. This 'unfinished business' can keep us from realizing our goals and dreams.
Just as some of our clothes may no longer fit or have become worn out, our ideas, like our possessions, might no longer be useful or 'fit' our lives as we live now. It seems it is only when we physically move to a new house that we are forced to find a place for our possessions. We are often very surprised to look at an object that we own and suddenly realize that we have not ever used this item.
Following time wasting old routines automatically and thoughtlessly, can actually make it impossible to do even the smallest thing on our 'bucket list'. Suddenly, by making a change to our routine, there is room for a growing number of things we have always wanted to do. It is amazing how much time you have available for other things when you decide not to follow the same routine you always have.
Just as periodically decluttering your home begins by sorting out things to keep, recycle and throw out; sorting out your priorities, can make it possible for you to do more of what you really want and make your life 'fit' better. The first step is the hardest. It is also the one which takes your forward into the next part of your life.
Note: See also blog of "Stuff - Possessed by our Possessions? - October 20, 2011.
AT LEAST WALMARTIANS ARE REAL PEOPLE
In the undeniably superficial Reality show world of the 'Real Housewives', Botox and plastic surgery seem a regular part of their lives. Anything to stop aging or any appearance of growing older. Their clothes however, although generally lower cut than regular city street wear, are obviously expensive and generally fairly elegant in a modern way.
Meanwhile, magazines and media continue to relentlessly glorify 'youth'. I don't think that there is a magazine cover anywhere that hasn't been airbrushed into fantasy. Even the very young teenaged model or airbrushed celebrity, couldn't possibly look like the airbrushed version of herself that sells the magazine covers.
The occasional grandparent model in commercials, movies or television, is unlikely to have gray hair or appear much older than their son or daughter. Perhaps the only place for middle aged and older people in most of the media seems to be when advertising banking.
On Television, older people are frequently portrayed as needing diapers or dentures...with little in between, being young and cool or decrepit and incontinent.
Street fashion, now more than ever, has filtered into the fashion design world. For some time now one of the current trend seems to be that sexy means a Burlesque and pole dance style of dress. This style is now literally 'walking the streets', both day and night.
I watched and wondered at the first couple of Pussycat Doll pole dancing style of competition. The first time someone at a party told me they were taking Pole Dancing, I spit out a mouthful of wine across the room in shock, (for the first and only time in my life).
Street walker style gone suburban means, that among other things, many parents have either bought or not objected to clothing for their young girls which have such words as 'JUICY' printed on the back of their pants.
As a result of this pervasive trend, for the first time perhaps, some wanna be young forever, middle class mothers seem also to be dressed in what was once the 'hoochey mama' version of street wear.
No wonder we enjoy the 'Walmartian' photos so much, it is a real revelation of streetwear in all it's amazing, creative variations. Possibly a mirror might help to cure some of them, but I fear, they see what they see and to them it is just a whole lot of wonderful woman. At least 'Walmartians' are real people, unlike Botoxed, plastic surgery Barbie doll wannabees.
Embarrassed daughters, often nominate their mothers for 'makeover' shows in order to get their mother to stop embarrassing them by wearing the teenagers clothes. If only to cover up the extra skin the mother has put on, it may be the daughters only way to explain to their mother that they are not and won't ever be cool dressed like this.
Whatever happened to being comfortable within your own skin, being happy within yourself? What about having the confidence to find a way to adapt the new trends into something showing you know about fashion and have learned what suits you too?
You probably are already know how you might like to dress to reflect the successful and accomplished woman you now are. To actually do it you need to accept yourself as you are now and use your skills to put your best foot forward.
The first step in what is actually reclaiming our lives and dignity, in the face of media youth bombardment is, to even occasionally, look in a Full Length Mirror. With your glasses on if necessary. Bite the bullet the first time, and take a reasonable and objective look, front (and please dear God, if you're in pants, back).
Since you are not airbrushed, you might look like a slightly older version than you did 5 or 10 years ago. This, probably would not surprise a normal person. The Fashion Victim however, is booking her next Botox appointment. Let her inject more botulism into her already frozen face.
Once you decide to give yourself permission to both acknowledge, but more importantly, try and accept yourself as you are, you will have also have taken a giant step toward reclaiming your self esteem and happiness.
By now, with time and experience you should already understand that you are unique and should be proud of your many accomplishments as well.
By accepting yourself, you will also soon find that you could actually begin to like yourself again. At some point, you might also more easily accept that you deserve the love your friends and family have been offering you, and return it happily.
Most importantly, you are also giving yourself a chance to be happy again with the unique, beautiful person you worked so hard to become and 'grew up' into. The same one everybody but you saw, when they looked at you.
See also: CLOTHES THEN AND NOW and
WHEN EVERY DAY IS CASUAL FRIDAY and
THE CLOTHES LOVER - FINDING BEAUTY ON THE STREET
Meanwhile, magazines and media continue to relentlessly glorify 'youth'. I don't think that there is a magazine cover anywhere that hasn't been airbrushed into fantasy. Even the very young teenaged model or airbrushed celebrity, couldn't possibly look like the airbrushed version of herself that sells the magazine covers.
The occasional grandparent model in commercials, movies or television, is unlikely to have gray hair or appear much older than their son or daughter. Perhaps the only place for middle aged and older people in most of the media seems to be when advertising banking.
On Television, older people are frequently portrayed as needing diapers or dentures...with little in between, being young and cool or decrepit and incontinent.
Street fashion, now more than ever, has filtered into the fashion design world. For some time now one of the current trend seems to be that sexy means a Burlesque and pole dance style of dress. This style is now literally 'walking the streets', both day and night.
I watched and wondered at the first couple of Pussycat Doll pole dancing style of competition. The first time someone at a party told me they were taking Pole Dancing, I spit out a mouthful of wine across the room in shock, (for the first and only time in my life).
Street walker style gone suburban means, that among other things, many parents have either bought or not objected to clothing for their young girls which have such words as 'JUICY' printed on the back of their pants.
As a result of this pervasive trend, for the first time perhaps, some wanna be young forever, middle class mothers seem also to be dressed in what was once the 'hoochey mama' version of street wear.
No wonder we enjoy the 'Walmartian' photos so much, it is a real revelation of streetwear in all it's amazing, creative variations. Possibly a mirror might help to cure some of them, but I fear, they see what they see and to them it is just a whole lot of wonderful woman. At least 'Walmartians' are real people, unlike Botoxed, plastic surgery Barbie doll wannabees.
Embarrassed daughters, often nominate their mothers for 'makeover' shows in order to get their mother to stop embarrassing them by wearing the teenagers clothes. If only to cover up the extra skin the mother has put on, it may be the daughters only way to explain to their mother that they are not and won't ever be cool dressed like this.
Whatever happened to being comfortable within your own skin, being happy within yourself? What about having the confidence to find a way to adapt the new trends into something showing you know about fashion and have learned what suits you too?
You probably are already know how you might like to dress to reflect the successful and accomplished woman you now are. To actually do it you need to accept yourself as you are now and use your skills to put your best foot forward.
The first step in what is actually reclaiming our lives and dignity, in the face of media youth bombardment is, to even occasionally, look in a Full Length Mirror. With your glasses on if necessary. Bite the bullet the first time, and take a reasonable and objective look, front (and please dear God, if you're in pants, back).
Since you are not airbrushed, you might look like a slightly older version than you did 5 or 10 years ago. This, probably would not surprise a normal person. The Fashion Victim however, is booking her next Botox appointment. Let her inject more botulism into her already frozen face.
Once you decide to give yourself permission to both acknowledge, but more importantly, try and accept yourself as you are, you will have also have taken a giant step toward reclaiming your self esteem and happiness.
By now, with time and experience you should already understand that you are unique and should be proud of your many accomplishments as well.
By accepting yourself, you will also soon find that you could actually begin to like yourself again. At some point, you might also more easily accept that you deserve the love your friends and family have been offering you, and return it happily.
Most importantly, you are also giving yourself a chance to be happy again with the unique, beautiful person you worked so hard to become and 'grew up' into. The same one everybody but you saw, when they looked at you.
See also: CLOTHES THEN AND NOW and
WHEN EVERY DAY IS CASUAL FRIDAY and
THE CLOTHES LOVER - FINDING BEAUTY ON THE STREET
Friday 29 March 2013
CELEBRATING REDEMPTION
Today we celebrate the death of Jesus Christ and the redemption that his sacrifice gave to mankind. This supreme self sacrifice, gives many of us hope whenever we reflect on upsets and upheavals in our lives in uncertain times.
I think some periods of time are more uncertain than others. Like the body, each society has an equilibrium where life seems reasonably in balance. When in balance, we and our neighbours, are able to calmly proceed with what we consider our 'normal' lives and probably feel relatively calm and unconcerned with small events that occur in our daily lives.
I would surmise that we are experiencing one of these periods of universal upheaval/adjustment now. For the past year at least, although possibly even the past five years, it seems like many of us seem to be putting future plans on the back burner. It is almost as though tacitly most of the world may be cautiously hoping that whatever change next occurs will not be a major one. I would even go so far as to say it seems that no one wants to be the one to tip the precarious balance and send us all hurtling into a universal domino-like financial disaster and possibly cataclysm.
There are times when our lives are unexpectedly effected. At such times we are forced to respond immediately. Some events, particularly emergencies, are recognized as being beyond our control. Such things as acts of nature, floods, storms and fires, require us to react quickly to prevent injury and loss of life. Human nature when faced with such events, responds as quickly as possible and usually finds us working together to restore normalcy as soon as possible.
Man-made upheavals however, such as war, genocide and power shifts uproot millions of people in every generation and can require exodus and emigration. Finding a safer place under such circumstances often displaces people sometimes temporarily, but for others, drives them permanently away from their native lands.
Sadly perhaps, we may ultimately be forced to recognize that some part of the world, in each generation suffers cataclysmic political upheaval of some sort. At the very least, this upsets and effects the lives of millions of people.
There is not much chance of balance and stability in parts of the world constantly plagued by war. It is a credit to the human spirit, that many people still manage to find some happiness and create a good life, despite the disruption around them.
There is some consolation in reflecting that some things remain constant in our lives and allow us to respond calmly to periods of vague dis-ease, because the foundation of our lives is not significantly effected.
Each generation also must learn how to accept change. How successful we are at adapting, will be reflected by our moods, perception, perspective and ultimately whether we are happy and satisfied with our lives.
Yesterday, someone compared life to a mirror, how we look at it, is what is reflected back to us.
The person able to always see the 'glass as half full', begins with an advantage over someone who is more pessimistic about life around them. However, there is merit in being realistic and possibly even a bit fatalistic in accepting that sometimes even many changes soon are incorporated and 'le plus ca change, le plus c'est la meme', (the more things change, the more they remain the same). I think this may be because we, as human beings, require balance and are inclined to assimilate and adapt as quickly as we can so that we might return to balance.
Reflecting on this today, over 2000 years after Christ's sacrifice, can remind us that not only does life go on, with or without our participation, but also that when we build strong foundations and take some steps to maintain some balance in our lives, we are likely to be less disturbed by changes beyond our control.
For those of us blessed with faith, Good Friday, is a time to celebrate and appreciate the gift of redemption which makes our lives hopeful. This remembrance might perhaps inspire us to some act of generosity and assistance to our fellow man. Perhaps because we have been given so much, we may today, remind ourselves to give some encouragement to someone struggling with greater difficulties. We are all improved when we give a 'hand up' and encourage others to pass it on.
I think some periods of time are more uncertain than others. Like the body, each society has an equilibrium where life seems reasonably in balance. When in balance, we and our neighbours, are able to calmly proceed with what we consider our 'normal' lives and probably feel relatively calm and unconcerned with small events that occur in our daily lives.
I would surmise that we are experiencing one of these periods of universal upheaval/adjustment now. For the past year at least, although possibly even the past five years, it seems like many of us seem to be putting future plans on the back burner. It is almost as though tacitly most of the world may be cautiously hoping that whatever change next occurs will not be a major one. I would even go so far as to say it seems that no one wants to be the one to tip the precarious balance and send us all hurtling into a universal domino-like financial disaster and possibly cataclysm.
There are times when our lives are unexpectedly effected. At such times we are forced to respond immediately. Some events, particularly emergencies, are recognized as being beyond our control. Such things as acts of nature, floods, storms and fires, require us to react quickly to prevent injury and loss of life. Human nature when faced with such events, responds as quickly as possible and usually finds us working together to restore normalcy as soon as possible.
Man-made upheavals however, such as war, genocide and power shifts uproot millions of people in every generation and can require exodus and emigration. Finding a safer place under such circumstances often displaces people sometimes temporarily, but for others, drives them permanently away from their native lands.
Sadly perhaps, we may ultimately be forced to recognize that some part of the world, in each generation suffers cataclysmic political upheaval of some sort. At the very least, this upsets and effects the lives of millions of people.
There is not much chance of balance and stability in parts of the world constantly plagued by war. It is a credit to the human spirit, that many people still manage to find some happiness and create a good life, despite the disruption around them.
There is some consolation in reflecting that some things remain constant in our lives and allow us to respond calmly to periods of vague dis-ease, because the foundation of our lives is not significantly effected.
Each generation also must learn how to accept change. How successful we are at adapting, will be reflected by our moods, perception, perspective and ultimately whether we are happy and satisfied with our lives.
Yesterday, someone compared life to a mirror, how we look at it, is what is reflected back to us.
The person able to always see the 'glass as half full', begins with an advantage over someone who is more pessimistic about life around them. However, there is merit in being realistic and possibly even a bit fatalistic in accepting that sometimes even many changes soon are incorporated and 'le plus ca change, le plus c'est la meme', (the more things change, the more they remain the same). I think this may be because we, as human beings, require balance and are inclined to assimilate and adapt as quickly as we can so that we might return to balance.
Reflecting on this today, over 2000 years after Christ's sacrifice, can remind us that not only does life go on, with or without our participation, but also that when we build strong foundations and take some steps to maintain some balance in our lives, we are likely to be less disturbed by changes beyond our control.
For those of us blessed with faith, Good Friday, is a time to celebrate and appreciate the gift of redemption which makes our lives hopeful. This remembrance might perhaps inspire us to some act of generosity and assistance to our fellow man. Perhaps because we have been given so much, we may today, remind ourselves to give some encouragement to someone struggling with greater difficulties. We are all improved when we give a 'hand up' and encourage others to pass it on.
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