YES AND NO

Sometimes I think I am the most indecisive person I know. There are times when making up my mind requires one or more sleepless nights. I tell myself that it is reasonable when making a ‘big decision’ to consider all of the possibilities, but who am I kidding; sometimes even little things can have me stuck in a groove.

Most people know their Sun Sign. This is the Astrology sign for the time in which they were born. I find this the case with both Men and Women.

Were I to say my Sun Sign is Leo, I am told that I would love memorabilia and photographs (I do). I would also be proud and vain. As one humorist wrote about Leos, they are cry babies. If you agree with them, they cry because you are such an understanding and sympathetic person; if you disagree with them, they cry because you are cruel and heartless.

However, I don’t think Leos are particularly indecisive and I have admitted that I am. There must be some other explanation. The easiest, by the way, is that the other main things that affect us in astrology are your Moon and your Ascendant. In my case, both of these fall in Libra – the scales.

A Moon and Ascendant in Libra, I feel, gives me a ready-made excuse for a lot of indecisiveness. I simply say that Libra people are all about Balance. I add, perhaps gratuitously, in my favour of course, that we look for Justice and Fairness. Well, that is what I would say if I was asked why it takes me so long to make a decision…but, really, who am I kidding?

Sometimes we are uncertain about what we want. Sometimes we think that, if we are patient, we will make a better decision. Maybe we feel that if we (finally) exercise a little patience, something even better will come along. Well maybe. Then again,maybe not.

I say that within ourselves we know when something ‘feels’ right. We say, it ‘suited me perfectly’, it ‘fit me like a glove’, it was ‘perfect’.

Maybe the reason we sometimes hesitate is because we sense that too much of a compromise is going to be needed to make the decision fit into our lives. I’d rather be a bit slower in making a decision than spend a lot of time later on having to figure out how to get out of a situation.

I’d say, go with your ‘gut feeling’. One Size Fits All, FITS NO ONE

STRESS TEST

We live in times when a day can literally run non-stop 24/7. With employers thinking nothing of texting us in the middle of the night; our work day and the rest of our lives are now instantly accessible to anyone we interact with anywhere in the world.

On top of this, the ‘small stuff’, those little detours and unexpected glitches that turn up each day, just seem to pile on more for us to manage in our already overloaded day.

With so many demands on our time and energy, most of us find ourselves in a kind of endless marathon throughout our day. This already makes most of us unable to give our full attention to anything.

I wonder whether we might reach the point where even a small addition to our stress and the demands made upon us, will push us beyond our personal ‘tipping point’.

If you, like me are reaching your tipping point, I’d say it is time to consider that a little bit of reflection might do us both some good. A small step in the right direction may be for us to consciously stop, look up from our texts, or put down our phones for a minute. 

Were we to take even a few seconds, we might metaphorically take the pulse rate of our day. I believe we could benefit from such a conscious pause. It might enable us to figure out just how tense and stressful we have become. It might give us just enough of a break so that we might consciously regroup and make the rest of the day better.

Otherwise it might soon be you or me yelling at the ‘barista’ at the coffee shop that our well-being is in their hands, because we have somehow decided that, that ‘perfect’ coffee will either make or break our day.

Many of us today, myself included, believe age is largely a state of mind. We often hear that soon people will regularly live to be a 100 years or older.

Personally however, I am sceptical that we are prepared physically and emotionally to experience a life that is both long and good. I am convinced that any advances in longevity won’t apply to those of us who don’t find an effective way to reduce our critically elevated levels of stress.

Our ‘sandwich’ generation, has many of us trying to do things for our parents and our children at the same time. This has made life even more of a relay race, when added to a 24/7 communication and work cycle.

We can only imagine the steady progression over time with which our parents and grandparent’s generations marked the passage of time in their lives. The ways other generations used to ‘wind down’, of necessity, needs to be different from what might work for us today.

Teaching yourself the survival skills we need will come to us, when we consciously learn more about what we need to do to maintain our sense of balance and perspective. This will take self-mastery and self-knowledge, since each of us responds to stress differently.

How we recognize stress and how we teach ourselves to decrease and diffuse it, has become crucial, if we expect to live a longer life that is also a healthy one.

WE WANT WHAT WE WANT

The value we place on something depends on how much we want it. The most beautiful thing in the world could be right in front of us for the asking and we would pass it by for something to add to what we already collect.

My late husband collected 78 r.p.m. records. When I first met him I would buy some in album cases for him. I marvelled that I could get several for, what I thought, was a reasonable price. It was not long however, that I learned that in some cases a whole room of 78’s had no value to him, but one record with a crack on the edge could be worth $1000 US because of its rarity. I am sure the desirability of an item is the same whether someone wants matchboxes or stamps or plates or metal boxes.

The late Duchess of Windsor titled her book, ‘The Heart Has Its Reasons’. I think she was right. Although none of us will ever know someone else’s reasons, the decisions they make will be based on what they feel is important to them to meet their needs.

In romance, the ‘blind date’ very often turns out to be a dud, not because there is always something wrong with the person, our well intentioned friends thought to pair us up with. More likely it did not work because we may not feel that mysterious ‘chemistry’ towards that person, or simply because we sense they will not meet our needs at the time.

None of us see what others see either about other people or things. If we give up as ‘matchmakers’ we may just be doing both ourselves and our friends a favour.

Ultimately we do what we feel is right for us at the time. If it doesn’t work out, we can console ourselves that we made the best decision we could at the time, or that we learned something from the experience and won’t make the same mistake next time.

With life, there is always a next time. That is what so great about life. When we are at the right place, at the right time, something pretty magical happens and our whole life changes for the better in the blink of an eye. This is a good reason to approach each day with optimism and good spirits. How else can we be open to the magic the day might have in store for us. 

DODGING THE BULLET - CIVIL WARS

Most of us will never be in a position of having literally to dodge a real bullet. Normal urban life, with its dangerous drivers and large crowds, all heading in the same direction as we are, are usually the most perilous part of our days physically.

Emotionally however, I find life is more of a potential minefield than it ever was. Not only do I see and hear more raised voices and shouting but also the tolerance of other people seems to be reaching a very low level.

It seems almost anything can be the ‘tipping point’ for upset, argument and probably, at the very least, hurt feelings.

With pettiness, gossip, trivia and shopping consuming our time and interest, perhaps it is only fitting that short attention spans and short fuses have come together and brought us to a quick boil.

Yesterday a man in a local coffee shop exploded at the serving people because he felt that someone else was getting their drink before him. His reaction was explosive and loud and full of swearing.

For me, other than relating to comedy, raised voices should indicate that something very terrible has occurred.

However, in the past week, twice in coffee shops, seriously upset shouting and tirades happened around and/or in one case, most unexpectedly was actually directed at me.

Maybe the culprit is the Coffee Shop. I sure hope not because they are ubiquitous and on almost every corner in Toronto.

Considering that most of us probably can’t afford to go to bars, or don’t want to, perhaps someday soon someone will go ‘postal’ in a coffee shop in Toronto.

Let’s hope that as the weather cools down, people will also calm down, if only because the alternative may be having a Stroke.