Bill Cunningham is a New York photographer, now 84 years old who spends his days and nights riding a bicycle around New York and photographing fashion. The difference between Bill and others who take fashion pictures is, that Bill has earned himself the title Sartorialist because he is only interested in clothes that real people are wearing.
During the day, he photographs the trends he sees worn by people on the street. At night he goes to a stunning round of parties and works there also. However, the difference is that among the fabulous and rich at night, he only photographs the charities that appeal to him and never accepts, even a glass of water so that his objectivity is not compromised.
At one time he worked for Women's Wear Daily, the fashion bible of the once great garment trade in New York. It is possible that I might even have seen him lurking outside of Le Cirque in New York in 1980, photographing the rich and famous as they left this famous eatery. However, he fell out with WWD's management after he found his photographs were being used to criticize people rather than to show what people were actually wearing and showing about the world through their clothing choices.
He has worked for the New York Times ever since. It was in the original Details magazine that he could freely and expansively express his personal point of view. He never accepted a paycheque from Details, since he felt this gave freed him to express himself as he wished. Everyone says that the current publishers still owe him his salary from those days.
He lives an incredibly modest life, probably still residing among the few artists left living at Carnegie Hall. He may by now however, have been forced to relocate to Central Park South, courtesy of Carnegie Hall as they attempt to turn the remaining residential premises into offices.
Regardless, of where he lives now, he doesn't have much to move, since his main, and actually only furniture, consists of file cabinets full of his photographs and negatives and fashion books. In 2012, he was riding his 29th bicycle.
By studying street fashion for 50 years he has earned a unique place as a fashion historian and archivist. He has discovered unique and unusual people throughout the world wearing their own amazing clothes. His contribution earned him, among many accolades, the high honour of Officer of the Legion of Honour of France.
He continues to find beauty wherever he sees it in everyday people, some like him, living a very simple life esteemed by friends, colleagues and people from all walks of life.
NOTE: SEE ALSO: CLOTHES THEN AND NOW and
WHEN EVERY DAY IS CASUAL FRIDAY and
AT LEAST WALMARTIANS ARE REAL PEOPLE
Thursday, 11 April 2013
Sunday, 7 April 2013
IT'S GETTING BETTER - THE IMPROVING STATE OF THE WORLD
I have been reading a very detailed book called, The Improving State of the World - Why we're living longer, healthier, more comfortable lives on a cleaner planet by Indur M. Goklany.
If you know anything about history at all, you know we are living longer in the last fifty years than for all of recorded history.
Many people now reach 100 years of age. However, more importantly, to most of us, between 1900 and 2000, people could expect to live 30 years longer. Life expectancy had increased from 47.3 years in 1900 to 77.0 years in 2000.
Meanwhile, at the start of life also more children survive. Infant mortality has declined almost universally.
While a part of the world could still be considered very poor by western standards, mankind as a whole, dies of fewer diseases such as the big killer Malaria and the 'common cold'. Many other dreaded pestilences have been first contained and then eradicated.*
In fact, now there are complaints that people might be living too long. How can we feed everyone? There are too many of us. Personally I doubt it.
I also doubt, that if the population grows, we will not find other sources of fuel and food. Man is an ingenious being, has survived much longer than we ever thought, and seems to be able to successfully adapt to any climate on land, under the ocean and even in space.
Since, I am musing tonight on whether it is genetically inherent in human nature to find something to worry and/or usually also, complain about. Might our speculating on overpopulation be just one more thing to complain about.
I personally wouldn't worry about overpopulation either using up all the land or being so filled with people that we would all starve to death.
China alone has, in 40 years, aborted more babies than the entire present population of the United States (315 million) and every year, again in China alone, twice the Los Angeles population is aborted.**
With, China alone aborting enough people to equal the current U.S. population, before they are even born, in 40 years; at the other end of life a lot of people are considering, or already perform Euthanasia (most notably already lawfully premiered in Holland).
In addition to lives removed by Abortion and Euthanasia, Humans will probably always go to war with each other. That should kill off lots of people, drones firing or not.
Meanwhile, modern travel lets the whole world get the flu and/or spreads an epidemic within a day.
I don't think there is much chance we'll ever stay overpopulated for long.
Oh yes, I don't know how much weight the planet can hold, but so far wiki.answers.com *** gives us the following interesting information to the question, What percentage of the earth is populated by humans? It looks like there is a lot of room for even the biggest space hogging people we might imagine. I suggest we all consider the question posed, dispassionately, with the facts in front of us. For a change.
____________________________________________________
*"...about a billion people still live in absolute poverty, and 852 million people suffer from chronic hunger and undernourishment mostly in developing countries. And still, 1.1 billion people lack access to improved water and 2.6 billion to improved sanitation. Diarrhea kills 1.8 million people each year; malaria - another preventable disease of poverty - annually claims 1.3 million lives; and indoor air pollution - because of burning wood, dung, and coal inside homes - is estimated to cause 1.6 million premature deaths each year." All of the above, "notwithstanding the substantial progress in human well-being in the past century."
p. 382 The Improving State of the World, Extending the Limits, Chapter 12.
_____________________________________________________________________
**March 19, 2013 National Post online was cited above for the abortion statistics. The entire article titled China has aborted equivalent of U.S. population. This article is likely available from them at the National Post offices in Toronto Canada , or from Mr. Kelly McParland or probably also, Britain's Financial Times.
If you know anything about history at all, you know we are living longer in the last fifty years than for all of recorded history.
Many people now reach 100 years of age. However, more importantly, to most of us, between 1900 and 2000, people could expect to live 30 years longer. Life expectancy had increased from 47.3 years in 1900 to 77.0 years in 2000.
Meanwhile, at the start of life also more children survive. Infant mortality has declined almost universally.
While a part of the world could still be considered very poor by western standards, mankind as a whole, dies of fewer diseases such as the big killer Malaria and the 'common cold'. Many other dreaded pestilences have been first contained and then eradicated.*
In fact, now there are complaints that people might be living too long. How can we feed everyone? There are too many of us. Personally I doubt it.
I also doubt, that if the population grows, we will not find other sources of fuel and food. Man is an ingenious being, has survived much longer than we ever thought, and seems to be able to successfully adapt to any climate on land, under the ocean and even in space.
Since, I am musing tonight on whether it is genetically inherent in human nature to find something to worry and/or usually also, complain about. Might our speculating on overpopulation be just one more thing to complain about.
I personally wouldn't worry about overpopulation either using up all the land or being so filled with people that we would all starve to death.
China alone has, in 40 years, aborted more babies than the entire present population of the United States (315 million) and every year, again in China alone, twice the Los Angeles population is aborted.**
The same article reports that, since Roe vs Wade in 1973, the U.S. has aborted about 50 million babies. This would be about the population of England. Canada either doesn't keep, or does not provide, statistics.
With, China alone aborting enough people to equal the current U.S. population, before they are even born, in 40 years; at the other end of life a lot of people are considering, or already perform Euthanasia (most notably already lawfully premiered in Holland).
In addition to lives removed by Abortion and Euthanasia, Humans will probably always go to war with each other. That should kill off lots of people, drones firing or not.
Meanwhile, modern travel lets the whole world get the flu and/or spreads an epidemic within a day.
I don't think there is much chance we'll ever stay overpopulated for long.
Oh yes, I don't know how much weight the planet can hold, but so far wiki.answers.com *** gives us the following interesting information to the question, What percentage of the earth is populated by humans? It looks like there is a lot of room for even the biggest space hogging people we might imagine. I suggest we all consider the question posed, dispassionately, with the facts in front of us. For a change.
____________________________________________________
*"...about a billion people still live in absolute poverty, and 852 million people suffer from chronic hunger and undernourishment mostly in developing countries. And still, 1.1 billion people lack access to improved water and 2.6 billion to improved sanitation. Diarrhea kills 1.8 million people each year; malaria - another preventable disease of poverty - annually claims 1.3 million lives; and indoor air pollution - because of burning wood, dung, and coal inside homes - is estimated to cause 1.6 million premature deaths each year." All of the above, "notwithstanding the substantial progress in human well-being in the past century."
p. 382 The Improving State of the World, Extending the Limits, Chapter 12.
_____________________________________________________________________
**March 19, 2013 National Post online was cited above for the abortion statistics. The entire article titled China has aborted equivalent of U.S. population. This article is likely available from them at the National Post offices in Toronto Canada , or from Mr. Kelly McParland or probably also, Britain's Financial Times.
China has aborted equivalent of U.S. population
Britain’s Financial Times recently reported on official abortion rates based on data from China’s health ministry:
_______________________________________________________________
***wiki.answers.com
What percentage of land on earth is dominated by humans?
_______________________________________________________________
***wiki.answers.com
What percentage of land on earth is dominated by humans?
Answer:
29% of Earth is land mass. Of that 29% humans occupy less than 1% of that area. Of the remaining 28% about 40% is pure wilderness. 14% is true desert and 15% has desert like characteristics. 9% is Antarctica. Most of the remaining 22% are agricultural areas. There may be other areas with a human footprint of some kind but it is insignificant in any relation to global warming.
WHINE WHINE WHINE - IS IT HUMAN NATURE?
With the amount of time, I and my fellow man, spend whining and complaining about almost anything, anytime, I wonder if it is genetically inherent in human nature to whine.
Tonight I am wondering, if even the first noise an infant makes when it is born, is really a whine, complaining about the problems it just had being born.
I think of how Moses destroyed the first set of The Ten Commandments because he descended from the mountain and the miraculous transcendent experience of seeing his Creator, to find that his fellow man had reverted to worshipping idols and, if I remember correctly, a golden calf they had fashioned.
Not only was the journey 40 years long in the desert, but all they had to feed and sustain them, albeit successfully, was 'manna'. I bet the complaining was universal on that one. It is ubiquitous, it is relentless, it may just be human nature.
Every day, we, or somebody around us, is whining, bitching, kvetching or complaining about something. If it's not somebody we know, it's the person next to us.
During a full moon, it's someone cursing on the street, and/or the man alternating between making fart noises and yelling at passersby. If not one of these, it might be some less colourful sort, like you or me.
Occasionally, someone let's you know they have given some thought to voicing a complaint, but have accepted that no one wants to hear it. They make us smile. We know they are right.
It doesn't stop our own next complaint, but once in a while we remember what they said and repeat this sage remark. We make our point and get a smile of understanding back.
Maybe, one of the jars at home, perhaps placed next to the Parental Swear Bottle, should be a jar charging anyone who complained that day a nickel fine (now that pennies are being discontinued). I bet it would fill up faster than the 25 cent per Swearing jar.
Note: See also THE SOLOIST - ME ME ME ME ME
Tonight I am wondering, if even the first noise an infant makes when it is born, is really a whine, complaining about the problems it just had being born.
I think of how Moses destroyed the first set of The Ten Commandments because he descended from the mountain and the miraculous transcendent experience of seeing his Creator, to find that his fellow man had reverted to worshipping idols and, if I remember correctly, a golden calf they had fashioned.
Not only was the journey 40 years long in the desert, but all they had to feed and sustain them, albeit successfully, was 'manna'. I bet the complaining was universal on that one. It is ubiquitous, it is relentless, it may just be human nature.
Every day, we, or somebody around us, is whining, bitching, kvetching or complaining about something. If it's not somebody we know, it's the person next to us.
During a full moon, it's someone cursing on the street, and/or the man alternating between making fart noises and yelling at passersby. If not one of these, it might be some less colourful sort, like you or me.
Occasionally, someone let's you know they have given some thought to voicing a complaint, but have accepted that no one wants to hear it. They make us smile. We know they are right.
It doesn't stop our own next complaint, but once in a while we remember what they said and repeat this sage remark. We make our point and get a smile of understanding back.
Maybe, one of the jars at home, perhaps placed next to the Parental Swear Bottle, should be a jar charging anyone who complained that day a nickel fine (now that pennies are being discontinued). I bet it would fill up faster than the 25 cent per Swearing jar.
Note: See also THE SOLOIST - ME ME ME ME ME
A FINAL GOODBYE TO MY BEST FRIEND
Sometimes, now that I have been alone for sometime without the unconditional support that underpined my life for so long; I sometimes wonder, whether I might have been better off never having loved at all.
I don't mean, loving my parents, or family, but had a loving husband who I lost to death.
Would I have been as comfortable as I had been before we met, when I figured I was fated to be a nice auntie to my nephews and a sister to my brothers and sisters, most of who had already married or were still fairly young?
I didn't seem to be in terrible shape, physically or mentally. While it is true several of my friends had married, I personally hadn't seen anyone I wanted to marry. I was also absolutely sure that I didn't see anyone I thought I wanted as the father of my children.
The one person I thought I loved in my mid 20's was definitely not, I later realized, husband material anyway.
By the time I had reached my mid 30's I had accepted that, as I put it then, if God wanted me to have kids, he would have put a suitable father (for them) in front of me.
I also realized that delivering and then chasing after young kids is probably done more easily when you are younger yourself.
Nothing too deep, admittedly, but there you are. We are not all brilliant when we talk about our personal lives.
Anyway, even the week before I finally met the love of my life, I was still sceptical of a friend who assured me I would. Therefore, I never suspected that I would, within a few days, meet the next 20 years of my life. I could not imagine that I was about to be happier and feel more secure than I might have imagined emotionally, intellectually and in every other way.
Whenever, I think of this, I remember how I was uplifted and absolutely certain that I was always supported and encouraged and approved of. Best of all, I was understood and still accepted.
No one is saying one person makes every single thing in your life complete or that every day was perfect; that only occurs when you are asleep or watching a movie. Probably not even then, because it's not your 'real life' story.
Your life, however, is better. It's like having a warm bath around you, or someone 'behind you' supporting your shoulders, or a hug.
Best of all, when you take a chance on love, though it might be a triumph of hope over experience, love might actually be mutually shared and, amazingly reciprocated. I highly recommend it.
NOTE: SEE ALSO - GOOD GRIEF - THE CONSOLATION OF MOURNING and
SAY IT NOW AND MAKE LIFE BETTER
I don't mean, loving my parents, or family, but had a loving husband who I lost to death.
Would I have been as comfortable as I had been before we met, when I figured I was fated to be a nice auntie to my nephews and a sister to my brothers and sisters, most of who had already married or were still fairly young?
I didn't seem to be in terrible shape, physically or mentally. While it is true several of my friends had married, I personally hadn't seen anyone I wanted to marry. I was also absolutely sure that I didn't see anyone I thought I wanted as the father of my children.
The one person I thought I loved in my mid 20's was definitely not, I later realized, husband material anyway.
By the time I had reached my mid 30's I had accepted that, as I put it then, if God wanted me to have kids, he would have put a suitable father (for them) in front of me.
I also realized that delivering and then chasing after young kids is probably done more easily when you are younger yourself.
Nothing too deep, admittedly, but there you are. We are not all brilliant when we talk about our personal lives.
Anyway, even the week before I finally met the love of my life, I was still sceptical of a friend who assured me I would. Therefore, I never suspected that I would, within a few days, meet the next 20 years of my life. I could not imagine that I was about to be happier and feel more secure than I might have imagined emotionally, intellectually and in every other way.
Whenever, I think of this, I remember how I was uplifted and absolutely certain that I was always supported and encouraged and approved of. Best of all, I was understood and still accepted.
No one is saying one person makes every single thing in your life complete or that every day was perfect; that only occurs when you are asleep or watching a movie. Probably not even then, because it's not your 'real life' story.
Your life, however, is better. It's like having a warm bath around you, or someone 'behind you' supporting your shoulders, or a hug.
Best of all, when you take a chance on love, though it might be a triumph of hope over experience, love might actually be mutually shared and, amazingly reciprocated. I highly recommend it.
NOTE: SEE ALSO - GOOD GRIEF - THE CONSOLATION OF MOURNING and
SAY IT NOW AND MAKE LIFE BETTER
BLESSED WITH THE GIFT OF FAITH
I am not holy. No one who has ever met me, ever saw even a Halo costume. No one has ever called me an Angel either. I hope not the contrary, either though.
I grew up in a family in which one member held a high position in our church. I grew up always feeling obligated to 'not let the side down' as the British would say, meaning, to behave in a way as to not disgrace my parents in front of our community.
I know that by the time I was 10 years old, I was already protective and cautious about what I said in public. I know this because someone, I considered an awful person when I was about 15, told me he remembered me stopping my brother from speaking freely, several years before.
Nevertheless, years passed, I was on my own in university and in an atmosphere where nothing I had been taught or valued, seemed important.
I met people of every religion, and often, no religion at all.
One day, when I was about 18, I told a priest that, I had, just (that moment) lost my faith. I had come to doubt that the people around me were really honest and that there was too much ritual in our church.
Unfortunately, my quiet declaration was made in a car full of people on a long trip to Northern Ontario. Though, most of the people would probably have been more concerned with the very stinky perfume I spilt, than any serious talk I might have had, I was told this was not the time (to talk about what I was feeling).
Several years later, a lot had happened. I had read about a lot of other people's religious beliefs in several of the world's major religions. I had gone 'back to basics', read the bible through once, even the Old Testament.
I had started with only things that I believe were said by God and Christ. For a while only the Lord's Prayer and the Ten Commandments were what I believed.
Now so many years later, I have a very strong faith. I don't follow what I think of as 'the rules'. I don't know that anyone would say I was doing everything right or not.
I came to think of people around me as people who believed in something and people who believed in nothing. The latter were people who therefore, might believe anything.
When someone I know once said they were better Christians than I was, I thought it was quite possible. I do my best. Maybe I could do more.
I would like to think that life is not as clearly defined into two groups on religious beliefs or anything else. Bad things have been done in the name of religion and bad things had been done by others to persecute and kill people born into a religion.
However, what I still have today, is the gift of belief, which I call Faith. It gives me support and encouragement in times of trouble. I am grateful and consider it a miracle that I have am blessed in this way. Amen.
I grew up in a family in which one member held a high position in our church. I grew up always feeling obligated to 'not let the side down' as the British would say, meaning, to behave in a way as to not disgrace my parents in front of our community.
I know that by the time I was 10 years old, I was already protective and cautious about what I said in public. I know this because someone, I considered an awful person when I was about 15, told me he remembered me stopping my brother from speaking freely, several years before.
Nevertheless, years passed, I was on my own in university and in an atmosphere where nothing I had been taught or valued, seemed important.
I met people of every religion, and often, no religion at all.
One day, when I was about 18, I told a priest that, I had, just (that moment) lost my faith. I had come to doubt that the people around me were really honest and that there was too much ritual in our church.
Unfortunately, my quiet declaration was made in a car full of people on a long trip to Northern Ontario. Though, most of the people would probably have been more concerned with the very stinky perfume I spilt, than any serious talk I might have had, I was told this was not the time (to talk about what I was feeling).
Several years later, a lot had happened. I had read about a lot of other people's religious beliefs in several of the world's major religions. I had gone 'back to basics', read the bible through once, even the Old Testament.
I had started with only things that I believe were said by God and Christ. For a while only the Lord's Prayer and the Ten Commandments were what I believed.
Now so many years later, I have a very strong faith. I don't follow what I think of as 'the rules'. I don't know that anyone would say I was doing everything right or not.
I came to think of people around me as people who believed in something and people who believed in nothing. The latter were people who therefore, might believe anything.
When someone I know once said they were better Christians than I was, I thought it was quite possible. I do my best. Maybe I could do more.
I would like to think that life is not as clearly defined into two groups on religious beliefs or anything else. Bad things have been done in the name of religion and bad things had been done by others to persecute and kill people born into a religion.
However, what I still have today, is the gift of belief, which I call Faith. It gives me support and encouragement in times of trouble. I am grateful and consider it a miracle that I have am blessed in this way. Amen.
BC - BEFORE CANCER and AC - AFTER CANCER
Although I speak about it often in person, I rarely write about how I spent Millennium night.
On Christmas Eve, December 24th, 1999 at about 11 a.m. in the morning, my life changed forever.
A rather regular telephone call from my specialist, told me that I had a Tumour and not a Cyst. I was told that she would see me after the holidays and that an operation date of January 18, 2000 was scheduled for me.
After I absorbed the shock and ran to the (corner) public library where I found...most Cancer information was only available at the Central Reference Library, I called the doctor back and was told not to read too much; every case is different and that she would talk to me in two weeks.
Since, that night was our family's annual Christmas gathering, the one time each year that all of my siblings, nieces and nephews attended, I had received this news just in time to share it with everyone at the same time. Oh joy!
Meanwhile, I will never, ever, experience a carefree day again. Like a child absorbing that their really isn't a Santa Claus, nothing will ever really be the same again.
I call this fissure in my life: BC and AC. BEFORE CANCER and AFTER CANCER.
Among other things, you need immediately to consider you may die. In fact, you may already be dying or you may die soon.
In my case, this might just have been my last Christmas and my last New Year. Happy new Millennium.
I could not help but wonder as I recorded the world-wide celebration of, not just a New Year, but a new Millennium, that I might never see another one.
A couple of weeks later, I FINALLY met the Doctor in her office, where she could speak to me face to face and give me some information about my specific situation, at last. At one point, she conceded (SURPRISE, SURPRISE), now that it was far too late, that, her timing might have been better. NO KIDDING!
She was surprised that, after the Hell on Earth she gave me as an early Christmas present that, I only asked a few questions: Do I have to have this operation? Will it go away by itself? Is there anything else I can do? So you think I really need this operation? Why was she so surprised? Because I am still standing? What else could I do?
Anyway, I was operated on, after waiting all day until after 5 p.m., because an emergency ectopic pregnancy preceded me. My husband stayed with me all day, without eating either, and somehow didn't collapse. He, would, of course, never be the same again either, but it took a long time to realize the price he paid.
When the doctor told me and him that it is probably benign because 2 litres of endometriosis were removed, I could not know that in a couple of months, a Cancer diagnosis would be made and that 2 types of cancer had been found.
I lost my hair during several Chemotherapy sessions, half a month or more Radiation exhausted me. By August, my Chemo. was over and my hair began to grow back. I took off the wig that protected me from everyone knowing I had Cancer, for good. I started to feel less tired and after follow ups and clean bills of health, I realized I was still here. Idiots around you, asked me if I was in Remission. I wondered whether I would hate them forever for reminding me that for a few minutes, I might have forgotten I'd had Cancer.
What I have found, as time goes on is, that, it doesn't matter whether it comes back, how long I have to live or don't have. Life, no one gets out alive anyway.
Besides that, whatever I thought and whatever I did, I can tell people to do what they have to do when they face the possibility or the actuality of Cancer. Don't get crazy. Find out what you have to do and decide what you want to do then. I can tell them this, because, I have been there and am unfortunately, speaking from first hand experience.
When the media started saying that many people had decided not to have treatment, IF they got a cancer diagnosis, I was outraged.
One of my brother's told a guy at work who didn't want any scars on his body; he was sure the guy would look very nice when everyone visited him...at the Funeral Parlour. Exactly.
Why don't the media stick to doing what they are good at, showing a few people dressed up in matching outfits, and obviously feeling all noble and good about themselves, as they prepare to run around the block a couple of times; If they are really rich, attend some grand ball with lots of expensive silent auction and door prizes, with the remaining pittance going to cancer.
One thing, however, which the specialist said was very true. Don't read too much; every case is different. Inform yourself when you speak to knowledgeable medical people, not terrifying yourself with voluminous and likely very indiscriminate Internet hearsay.
By talking to people freely and often, I hope I help lots and lots of people to be less afraid. Even if I only help one person, I am happy to do so.
As I tell people, get a good Doctor, do what you think is best. I also say, I went through it and 'Here I am 13 years later; still talking Crap'. That is the point.
UPDATE: on Saturday May 4th, 2013 I passed the new store of a friend I had not seen in, at least, 10 years. When I last saw him, he had suffered through many operations. I was told he had Lymphatic (sic) Cancer. There he was hale and healthy, having moved to a new location when his former building had been sold. He has a 5 year old son. It is 16 years since his Cancer.
When I mentioned about the Media talking about popular theory about Cancer was that many people say they would refuse treatment if they got Cancer. His reply was, yes, there are millions that feel that way...That's because they don't have Cancer.
See also: FRIENDSHIP - I LIKE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.
SEE ALSO: January 18, 2015 - SURVIVAL SKILLS and January 20, 2015 - AFTERWARDS - Living to fight another day
On Christmas Eve, December 24th, 1999 at about 11 a.m. in the morning, my life changed forever.
A rather regular telephone call from my specialist, told me that I had a Tumour and not a Cyst. I was told that she would see me after the holidays and that an operation date of January 18, 2000 was scheduled for me.
After I absorbed the shock and ran to the (corner) public library where I found...most Cancer information was only available at the Central Reference Library, I called the doctor back and was told not to read too much; every case is different and that she would talk to me in two weeks.
Since, that night was our family's annual Christmas gathering, the one time each year that all of my siblings, nieces and nephews attended, I had received this news just in time to share it with everyone at the same time. Oh joy!
Meanwhile, I will never, ever, experience a carefree day again. Like a child absorbing that their really isn't a Santa Claus, nothing will ever really be the same again.
I call this fissure in my life: BC and AC. BEFORE CANCER and AFTER CANCER.
Among other things, you need immediately to consider you may die. In fact, you may already be dying or you may die soon.
In my case, this might just have been my last Christmas and my last New Year. Happy new Millennium.
I could not help but wonder as I recorded the world-wide celebration of, not just a New Year, but a new Millennium, that I might never see another one.
A couple of weeks later, I FINALLY met the Doctor in her office, where she could speak to me face to face and give me some information about my specific situation, at last. At one point, she conceded (SURPRISE, SURPRISE), now that it was far too late, that, her timing might have been better. NO KIDDING!
She was surprised that, after the Hell on Earth she gave me as an early Christmas present that, I only asked a few questions: Do I have to have this operation? Will it go away by itself? Is there anything else I can do? So you think I really need this operation? Why was she so surprised? Because I am still standing? What else could I do?
Anyway, I was operated on, after waiting all day until after 5 p.m., because an emergency ectopic pregnancy preceded me. My husband stayed with me all day, without eating either, and somehow didn't collapse. He, would, of course, never be the same again either, but it took a long time to realize the price he paid.
When the doctor told me and him that it is probably benign because 2 litres of endometriosis were removed, I could not know that in a couple of months, a Cancer diagnosis would be made and that 2 types of cancer had been found.
I lost my hair during several Chemotherapy sessions, half a month or more Radiation exhausted me. By August, my Chemo. was over and my hair began to grow back. I took off the wig that protected me from everyone knowing I had Cancer, for good. I started to feel less tired and after follow ups and clean bills of health, I realized I was still here. Idiots around you, asked me if I was in Remission. I wondered whether I would hate them forever for reminding me that for a few minutes, I might have forgotten I'd had Cancer.
What I have found, as time goes on is, that, it doesn't matter whether it comes back, how long I have to live or don't have. Life, no one gets out alive anyway.
Besides that, whatever I thought and whatever I did, I can tell people to do what they have to do when they face the possibility or the actuality of Cancer. Don't get crazy. Find out what you have to do and decide what you want to do then. I can tell them this, because, I have been there and am unfortunately, speaking from first hand experience.
When the media started saying that many people had decided not to have treatment, IF they got a cancer diagnosis, I was outraged.
One of my brother's told a guy at work who didn't want any scars on his body; he was sure the guy would look very nice when everyone visited him...at the Funeral Parlour. Exactly.
Why don't the media stick to doing what they are good at, showing a few people dressed up in matching outfits, and obviously feeling all noble and good about themselves, as they prepare to run around the block a couple of times; If they are really rich, attend some grand ball with lots of expensive silent auction and door prizes, with the remaining pittance going to cancer.
One thing, however, which the specialist said was very true. Don't read too much; every case is different. Inform yourself when you speak to knowledgeable medical people, not terrifying yourself with voluminous and likely very indiscriminate Internet hearsay.
By talking to people freely and often, I hope I help lots and lots of people to be less afraid. Even if I only help one person, I am happy to do so.
As I tell people, get a good Doctor, do what you think is best. I also say, I went through it and 'Here I am 13 years later; still talking Crap'. That is the point.
UPDATE: on Saturday May 4th, 2013 I passed the new store of a friend I had not seen in, at least, 10 years. When I last saw him, he had suffered through many operations. I was told he had Lymphatic (sic) Cancer. There he was hale and healthy, having moved to a new location when his former building had been sold. He has a 5 year old son. It is 16 years since his Cancer.
When I mentioned about the Media talking about popular theory about Cancer was that many people say they would refuse treatment if they got Cancer. His reply was, yes, there are millions that feel that way...That's because they don't have Cancer.
See also: FRIENDSHIP - I LIKE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.
SEE ALSO: January 18, 2015 - SURVIVAL SKILLS and January 20, 2015 - AFTERWARDS - Living to fight another day
HERE'S HOW TO RUIN YOUR LIFE
There is a man who is an Economist, and a writer and actor and a lot of other things I'm sure. His name is Ben Stein. Years ago he played the role of a teacher in a movie called Ferris Bueller's Day Off. This brought him some fame, possibly some fortune too. He did not, however, quit his day job.
As a result, while being an Economist, as was his father, Herbert Stein, and a son of a Historian Gertrude Himmelfarb; he continued to write and publish for magazines such as the American Spectator.
He also loved to act and wrote about this in his Spectator articles, Ben Stein's Diary. In fact, I just saw him, going strong, in a Murine ad last week.
Among his writing though, he wrote a very good book called, "How To Ruin Your Life". In this book, he outlines the sure fire ways in which you can guarantee that you will fail. We probably should all read it.
Meanwhile, if kids continue their allergy to staying in school long enough to complete even a rudimentary education, they will have one of the elements that should help them fail. This is true about education almost more than ever before. Personally, I don't think the world will end before you have time to finish school, even if you have a few post secondary years to go.
Today, when our knowledge requirements are considerably less than what grade schools gave our grandparents, everyone should recognize that lifelong upgrades in education will likely be necessary in most workplaces, if only to keep up with the technological advances.
If young people keep parroting that LIFE IS TOO SHORT to persevere and delay immediate gratification for things, which traditionally took others a lifetime to accumulate through hard work, this will also help them fail.
If we are all going to die anyway, and maybe some of our family members have died of Cancer, we might remind kids who think this way, that, no one gets out of life alive. How you live however, defines who you are and how happy with that you might be.
If the large number of PRINCESSES AND PRINCELINGS decide that they DESERVE, their families financial support, long after they have been working, perhaps someone should explain where money comes from.
If they decide that only a 'royal wedding' and wildly expensive dress will do, and that only the down payment on a house is a big enough wedding present; someone should suggest it is wildly exciting if they elope, on one of the many trips their parents pay for to Europe anyway. That's a BOGO (buy one, get one free) bargain, with a plus of the kids being away at the same time.
If they also continue to develop envy and begrudge other people of what they have accomplished or earned, we are likely to see an interesting time ahead of us for our society in the next 10+ years. Nose ring anyone?
As a result, while being an Economist, as was his father, Herbert Stein, and a son of a Historian Gertrude Himmelfarb; he continued to write and publish for magazines such as the American Spectator.
He also loved to act and wrote about this in his Spectator articles, Ben Stein's Diary. In fact, I just saw him, going strong, in a Murine ad last week.
Among his writing though, he wrote a very good book called, "How To Ruin Your Life". In this book, he outlines the sure fire ways in which you can guarantee that you will fail. We probably should all read it.
Meanwhile, if kids continue their allergy to staying in school long enough to complete even a rudimentary education, they will have one of the elements that should help them fail. This is true about education almost more than ever before. Personally, I don't think the world will end before you have time to finish school, even if you have a few post secondary years to go.
Today, when our knowledge requirements are considerably less than what grade schools gave our grandparents, everyone should recognize that lifelong upgrades in education will likely be necessary in most workplaces, if only to keep up with the technological advances.
If young people keep parroting that LIFE IS TOO SHORT to persevere and delay immediate gratification for things, which traditionally took others a lifetime to accumulate through hard work, this will also help them fail.
If we are all going to die anyway, and maybe some of our family members have died of Cancer, we might remind kids who think this way, that, no one gets out of life alive. How you live however, defines who you are and how happy with that you might be.
If the large number of PRINCESSES AND PRINCELINGS decide that they DESERVE, their families financial support, long after they have been working, perhaps someone should explain where money comes from.
If they decide that only a 'royal wedding' and wildly expensive dress will do, and that only the down payment on a house is a big enough wedding present; someone should suggest it is wildly exciting if they elope, on one of the many trips their parents pay for to Europe anyway. That's a BOGO (buy one, get one free) bargain, with a plus of the kids being away at the same time.
If they also continue to develop envy and begrudge other people of what they have accomplished or earned, we are likely to see an interesting time ahead of us for our society in the next 10+ years. Nose ring anyone?
LOSING EVERYTHING
LOSING EVERYTHING - WHAT IF IT HAPPENED TO US?
When I pass a person who looks hard up and is perhaps panhandling on the street, I sometimes wonder who they are and how they came to be there.
My late husband often said "There but for the grace of God go I". Possibly this is true for any of us. Certainly we would hope and pray not.
In any case, whatever we think is the reason people are living on the street, and however grateful we may be that this is not us; we may still think to give something we can spare to them or someone who offers them help.
If not giving them money or a meal directly, then perhaps a donation to whatever organization we believe responsibly assists them by feeding, clothing or sheltering them. I personally, think that it is the least we can do, even if we otherwise ignore or dismiss them, or are grateful for our own present good fortune, the rest of the time.
I once saw a couple of films about people who's lives are completely changed and who, one on a voluntary basis, is put out on the street as an experiment and another who because of a life altering DUI accident, kills someone and goes into decline because of the guilt. There is probably a story for every one of those people we see, because every life has a story different from anyone else's.
Although most of us were not born with the proverbial silver spoon, we live in a pretty affluent society overall compared to a lot of the world. There is still a lot that we could lose, perhaps through no fault of our own.
Were we to somehow throw away, or have everything we have now taken away, it would still be a big loss to any of us. We may just secretly wonder, what if that was me on the sidewalk at the corner?
There is a certain amount of concern that many of us carry around, that makes us hope that social services and aid reaches those who really need it. The never ending repertoire of stories about people cheating and exploiting the system, gives me some concern that it is not.
I suppose that cheaters think everybody cheats, because they do it. If we don't personally try and cheat the system ourselves, we are maybe more shocked by hearing of someone who continues year after year to appear to 'get away with it'. Whether we hear about a person like this, or know someone who regularly cheats others, it is disconcerting to us.
Meanwhile, if you feel you can help someone you recognize needs your help, or want to help some organization or service that you believe provides actual help to the needy; there is not much to stop you doing so.
Whether you offer a bit of money, or have the time and ability to directly volunteer to work with those in need, you can contribute something to making our city a better place.
It is possible that you might make a difference to someone, and be the actual timely catalyst and 'hand up' they needed. At least, you will have tried.
See also: The Blanket Man 2011 and 2013 update(s)
When I pass a person who looks hard up and is perhaps panhandling on the street, I sometimes wonder who they are and how they came to be there.
My late husband often said "There but for the grace of God go I". Possibly this is true for any of us. Certainly we would hope and pray not.
In any case, whatever we think is the reason people are living on the street, and however grateful we may be that this is not us; we may still think to give something we can spare to them or someone who offers them help.
If not giving them money or a meal directly, then perhaps a donation to whatever organization we believe responsibly assists them by feeding, clothing or sheltering them. I personally, think that it is the least we can do, even if we otherwise ignore or dismiss them, or are grateful for our own present good fortune, the rest of the time.
I once saw a couple of films about people who's lives are completely changed and who, one on a voluntary basis, is put out on the street as an experiment and another who because of a life altering DUI accident, kills someone and goes into decline because of the guilt. There is probably a story for every one of those people we see, because every life has a story different from anyone else's.
Although most of us were not born with the proverbial silver spoon, we live in a pretty affluent society overall compared to a lot of the world. There is still a lot that we could lose, perhaps through no fault of our own.
Were we to somehow throw away, or have everything we have now taken away, it would still be a big loss to any of us. We may just secretly wonder, what if that was me on the sidewalk at the corner?
There is a certain amount of concern that many of us carry around, that makes us hope that social services and aid reaches those who really need it. The never ending repertoire of stories about people cheating and exploiting the system, gives me some concern that it is not.
I suppose that cheaters think everybody cheats, because they do it. If we don't personally try and cheat the system ourselves, we are maybe more shocked by hearing of someone who continues year after year to appear to 'get away with it'. Whether we hear about a person like this, or know someone who regularly cheats others, it is disconcerting to us.
Meanwhile, if you feel you can help someone you recognize needs your help, or want to help some organization or service that you believe provides actual help to the needy; there is not much to stop you doing so.
Whether you offer a bit of money, or have the time and ability to directly volunteer to work with those in need, you can contribute something to making our city a better place.
It is possible that you might make a difference to someone, and be the actual timely catalyst and 'hand up' they needed. At least, you will have tried.
See also: The Blanket Man 2011 and 2013 update(s)
FIND YOURSELF AGAIN TODAY
TEMPUS FUGIT - TIME FLIES BY - WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
We are inclined to become more settled as we grow older. Some of us have accepted more responsibilities, we have homes and mortgages, marriages or partnerships personal and/or financial. Quite a few of us have children or even grandchildren. In other words, many of us have grown up and become mature, stable, and productive adults.
Always though, changes, in one or more areas of our lives happen. These may be job changes, moving house to a larger or smaller place. Regardless of the specifics, with the passing of time, we choose or sometimes out of unexpected necessity, react to changes in very basic areas of our lives.
Most of us as we grow older, however, are less likely to be seriously upset or distraught by most of the changes that accompany us through our days. I am convinced that this has a lot to do with who we have grown up into as we matured and became adults.
Much like a boat, many things that we come upon, rarely overturn us. Even when something does seem to knock much of our life out of kilter, we usually right ourselves and reassert some semblance of normalcy as soon as we can.
If you have been taught self sufficiency or have learned it yourself, you are one of the people who are truly empowered. Self mastery and a degree of confidence that you have come through many years and are still standing, frees you to be, and do, what you know will be the right thing for you.
I remember when I was 28, I looked back and realized that both in age and maturity, I had been an adult for 10 years. Before this age, especially at say 26, you look back 10 years and you were not a grown up yet. At the very least, at 28 however, you and those around you, see you as a grown up. At 28 you have been making your own decisions for long enough to know you are an adult and have been for quite some time.
Someone said however, that emotionally, we never go beyond our late 30's when we think of ourselves. Perhaps this is why people in their 70's or 80's sometimes think they can climb ladders, move furniture and hang curtains, just as easily as they might have 30 or 40 years earlier.
Nevertheless, whatever your age today, sometimes it's good to remember that young woman or man, who at 28 was lively, spunky, confident and happy to be alive. Here was a healthy, young adult. How much of this vital, lively, energetic person is still with you, depends on how you decided to live your life. The choices you made, and continue to make, effect how you are living now, and will be living in the future.
Perhaps you may now decide you are going to reacquaint yourself with openness to change and decide how you will interpret it. As someone once said to me, in the context of a relationship, "It's always been up to you". In the context of the rest of your life, it really is.
SEE ALSO: PLAN A REUNION WITH YOURSELF TODAY - NOVEMBER 22, 2013
We are inclined to become more settled as we grow older. Some of us have accepted more responsibilities, we have homes and mortgages, marriages or partnerships personal and/or financial. Quite a few of us have children or even grandchildren. In other words, many of us have grown up and become mature, stable, and productive adults.
Always though, changes, in one or more areas of our lives happen. These may be job changes, moving house to a larger or smaller place. Regardless of the specifics, with the passing of time, we choose or sometimes out of unexpected necessity, react to changes in very basic areas of our lives.
Most of us as we grow older, however, are less likely to be seriously upset or distraught by most of the changes that accompany us through our days. I am convinced that this has a lot to do with who we have grown up into as we matured and became adults.
Much like a boat, many things that we come upon, rarely overturn us. Even when something does seem to knock much of our life out of kilter, we usually right ourselves and reassert some semblance of normalcy as soon as we can.
If you have been taught self sufficiency or have learned it yourself, you are one of the people who are truly empowered. Self mastery and a degree of confidence that you have come through many years and are still standing, frees you to be, and do, what you know will be the right thing for you.
I remember when I was 28, I looked back and realized that both in age and maturity, I had been an adult for 10 years. Before this age, especially at say 26, you look back 10 years and you were not a grown up yet. At the very least, at 28 however, you and those around you, see you as a grown up. At 28 you have been making your own decisions for long enough to know you are an adult and have been for quite some time.
Someone said however, that emotionally, we never go beyond our late 30's when we think of ourselves. Perhaps this is why people in their 70's or 80's sometimes think they can climb ladders, move furniture and hang curtains, just as easily as they might have 30 or 40 years earlier.
Nevertheless, whatever your age today, sometimes it's good to remember that young woman or man, who at 28 was lively, spunky, confident and happy to be alive. Here was a healthy, young adult. How much of this vital, lively, energetic person is still with you, depends on how you decided to live your life. The choices you made, and continue to make, effect how you are living now, and will be living in the future.
Perhaps you may now decide you are going to reacquaint yourself with openness to change and decide how you will interpret it. As someone once said to me, in the context of a relationship, "It's always been up to you". In the context of the rest of your life, it really is.
SEE ALSO: PLAN A REUNION WITH YOURSELF TODAY - NOVEMBER 22, 2013
TECHNO MELTDOWN - THE SEQUEL
BEWARE! YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENTER TECHNO HELL - PART 1 - APRIL 13
There are days when its probably better to take a hint that you are about to enter a day of Techno Hell. Today seems to have begun this way for me. I am going to pay attention and take a break from my computer, unplug various devices and appliances and hope that later in the day, things return to normal.
Last night I didn't have a television signal. I had been moving the t.v. stand, DVD players etc. and had unplugged and replugged most of the cords to try and untangle some of the spaghetti wires which had looped around each other. Therefore, I thought I'd either forgotten to plug something back in or the cable company line was down. The latter was a distinct possibility because of the way the cable box was reacting.
Naturally, since I am the type of person who will only read the instructions of a manual as a last resort - these being translated from Chinese or Japanese anyway - trial and error and a call to a number of techno. wizards in my family, usually helps me to solve whatever technical freakiness I encounter.
This morning, I decided to try again, by myself and amazingly on my first try, by moving one plug and taking a lucky guess about where to plug it into another spot on the back of the television, I had a t.v. again.
I next tried to tackle the email pileup and write back to someone in the U.S.
I thought I'd reply with a brief note and then attach a note about some things going on here. This, which should have been pretty simple, since I am not that advanced anyway in techno. things, was not. In a couple of minutes I had reduced the entire text to 10% of the size it should be.
I am happy to say that I do learn from my mistakes and although this was a new techno. mess and differed slightly in that I had never reduced things to such a small size, I tried expanding the text size and was back to normal fairly soon.
People pass on words of wisdom. Should you find yourself having trouble with your computer, cell phone, ipod or any other devices, call up your niece or nephew. Whether they are 8 or 18, they will wrack their brains to visualize the model of your ancient machine and walk you through verbally to a fix. Rarely will they tell you to call a service man or have to rush down to physically soothe your, or your computers frazzled nerves.
Meanwhile, if you recognize you are entering techno. hell and suspect that your boffins are busy and won't be available if you get into trouble, it is wise to take a break and spare yourself an extra visit to hours of guaranteed frustration.
P.S. By the way, after a long break doing other things and upon writing a lot more, I was only reducing the text to 25% of its size, once or twice. It could have been worse.
______________________________________________________
TECHNO MELTDOWN - THE SEQUEL - PART 2 - Mid May 2013
It seems I didn't know when I had it good. Also about a month of fairly normal computer operation had lured me into a false sense of security. I should have been more careful. April's techno. troubles were just a small blip compared to this week.
First, my wireless headset through which I listen to music and watch t.v. in the middle of the night decided to die, even after a new cord was connected between the t.v. and the remote transmitting thing. The now ancient headset already half shot, naturally continued to work anyway, as is often the case.
Shortly after my computer screen looked like seismic waves had taken over. Naturally my cable company could not help but suggested a new media card might be needed. When my technical help arrived, of course, it temporarily worked perfectly. This gave us a chance to backup the computer contents onto a USB, and switch to using the laptop for most things.
The actual computer died a couple of days later and a new one is coming to replace it. I was given a new wireless keyboard and mouse too.
This pretty well was a four day set of breakdowns culminating with a router dying, fifteen minutes before a final bid on an eBay auction, naturally after midnight, was due for something my young niece really wanted. This latter means right now the modem is hooked up to the laptop.
In short, I needed a new a new wireless headset which I bought, and I finally bought a new laserjet printer (which I had been doing without after one gift after another and a new one had not worked, last year).
Thank God I have a technical genius available for such techno meltdowns and he can make himself available in a reasonable time.
There are days when its probably better to take a hint that you are about to enter a day of Techno Hell. Today seems to have begun this way for me. I am going to pay attention and take a break from my computer, unplug various devices and appliances and hope that later in the day, things return to normal.
Last night I didn't have a television signal. I had been moving the t.v. stand, DVD players etc. and had unplugged and replugged most of the cords to try and untangle some of the spaghetti wires which had looped around each other. Therefore, I thought I'd either forgotten to plug something back in or the cable company line was down. The latter was a distinct possibility because of the way the cable box was reacting.
Naturally, since I am the type of person who will only read the instructions of a manual as a last resort - these being translated from Chinese or Japanese anyway - trial and error and a call to a number of techno. wizards in my family, usually helps me to solve whatever technical freakiness I encounter.
This morning, I decided to try again, by myself and amazingly on my first try, by moving one plug and taking a lucky guess about where to plug it into another spot on the back of the television, I had a t.v. again.
I next tried to tackle the email pileup and write back to someone in the U.S.
I thought I'd reply with a brief note and then attach a note about some things going on here. This, which should have been pretty simple, since I am not that advanced anyway in techno. things, was not. In a couple of minutes I had reduced the entire text to 10% of the size it should be.
I am happy to say that I do learn from my mistakes and although this was a new techno. mess and differed slightly in that I had never reduced things to such a small size, I tried expanding the text size and was back to normal fairly soon.
People pass on words of wisdom. Should you find yourself having trouble with your computer, cell phone, ipod or any other devices, call up your niece or nephew. Whether they are 8 or 18, they will wrack their brains to visualize the model of your ancient machine and walk you through verbally to a fix. Rarely will they tell you to call a service man or have to rush down to physically soothe your, or your computers frazzled nerves.
Meanwhile, if you recognize you are entering techno. hell and suspect that your boffins are busy and won't be available if you get into trouble, it is wise to take a break and spare yourself an extra visit to hours of guaranteed frustration.
P.S. By the way, after a long break doing other things and upon writing a lot more, I was only reducing the text to 25% of its size, once or twice. It could have been worse.
______________________________________________________
TECHNO MELTDOWN - THE SEQUEL - PART 2 - Mid May 2013
It seems I didn't know when I had it good. Also about a month of fairly normal computer operation had lured me into a false sense of security. I should have been more careful. April's techno. troubles were just a small blip compared to this week.
First, my wireless headset through which I listen to music and watch t.v. in the middle of the night decided to die, even after a new cord was connected between the t.v. and the remote transmitting thing. The now ancient headset already half shot, naturally continued to work anyway, as is often the case.
Shortly after my computer screen looked like seismic waves had taken over. Naturally my cable company could not help but suggested a new media card might be needed. When my technical help arrived, of course, it temporarily worked perfectly. This gave us a chance to backup the computer contents onto a USB, and switch to using the laptop for most things.
The actual computer died a couple of days later and a new one is coming to replace it. I was given a new wireless keyboard and mouse too.
This pretty well was a four day set of breakdowns culminating with a router dying, fifteen minutes before a final bid on an eBay auction, naturally after midnight, was due for something my young niece really wanted. This latter means right now the modem is hooked up to the laptop.
In short, I needed a new a new wireless headset which I bought, and I finally bought a new laserjet printer (which I had been doing without after one gift after another and a new one had not worked, last year).
Thank God I have a technical genius available for such techno meltdowns and he can make himself available in a reasonable time.
Saturday, 6 April 2013
WORRIED ABOUT ALMOST EVERYTHING - DUMB DE DUMB DUMB
It's a long time since I gave even a moment of my time or interest to anyone spouting Psychobabble. The same goes for what I call Feminist rhetoric, which tries to explain 'empowerment' of WIMMIN, long oppressed and subservient by the Men we can do without nicely, now, Thank You very much, since Turkey Basters moved out of the kitchen.
So much anger, so much wounded pride, such grudges and bitterness. What do you expect however, when your sex has decided that the other one is wrong about almost everything they ever said or did.
When either sex decides that not only will they not forgive anything bad they've ever heard or imagined the other's ever did or said, but we don't intend to forget it either.
These modern, Crusaders, male or female are buoyed up and united by their solidarity. "I am Woman, watch me roar, in numbers to ignore"*. I am man and I will bond with other males in my man cave or arena and we have been wronged. No surrender...from now on, we'll do without them.
Real or imagined, anyone who sets about to find something wrong with someone else will surely find something to support their preconceived notion.
Some headway and a reasonable degree of sensitivity to people's race or colour, has now been enacted into law in most of the civilized world. Most of us would immediately condemn genocide, as well. Where we are a bit oblivious is at calling out nonsense when we see it.
It is a long time since Ralph Kramden on the Honeymooners told his wife Alice, that one day, POW right in the kisser, (he would send her) right to the moon. No one I knew ever took this seriously any more than the Three Stooges poking each other, or Road Runner and other cartoons as making anyone think of violence.
Today however, it's fine to show dozens of bullets or knife fights with lots of (red paint) blood and guts, just don't incite violence by letting anyone watch what used to be enjoyed by children's cartoons. Were kids smarter and did they just know that this was pretend? When did someone decide a cartoon had to be edited and sanitized and politically correct probably too?
Meanwhile, I am not a fan of certain types of violence. Though I consider martial arts a discipline and a skill and car chases and explosions as exciting stuff; Even now, I will not willing watch evisceration. Neither do I need the Morgue in the show NCIS to always show the cadavers chests peeled back. I know these figures are supposed to be dead people. Why must I unwittingly, get a nasty surprise so often when I go to see a movie or turn on my television. I can't even bother to talk about the current omnipresent Werewolf v.s. Vampire fans.
Meanwhile, people seem to worry most about the least possibility that someone, somewhere, some day might be offended. Television News services and print media also, no doubt are issued Guidelines on acceptable speech and content. If you don't conform, they will either bleep your words, edit you out or reprimand you for not being sensitive. The worst is to be condemned as mean spirited. You are done for then.
Change the name of the sports team from any name that might offend native peoples. I'd say call them Pussies instead, but someone might think I was maligning their pet cat.
As I now say, get over yourself. Get off of the television service that I pay too much for and go find something else to do with your time. As Billy Joel said in a one of his songs My Life; go ahead with your own life, leave me alone.*
*I Am Woman - Helen Reddy and Bill Joel - My Life.
So much anger, so much wounded pride, such grudges and bitterness. What do you expect however, when your sex has decided that the other one is wrong about almost everything they ever said or did.
When either sex decides that not only will they not forgive anything bad they've ever heard or imagined the other's ever did or said, but we don't intend to forget it either.
These modern, Crusaders, male or female are buoyed up and united by their solidarity. "I am Woman, watch me roar, in numbers to ignore"*. I am man and I will bond with other males in my man cave or arena and we have been wronged. No surrender...from now on, we'll do without them.
Real or imagined, anyone who sets about to find something wrong with someone else will surely find something to support their preconceived notion.
Some headway and a reasonable degree of sensitivity to people's race or colour, has now been enacted into law in most of the civilized world. Most of us would immediately condemn genocide, as well. Where we are a bit oblivious is at calling out nonsense when we see it.
It is a long time since Ralph Kramden on the Honeymooners told his wife Alice, that one day, POW right in the kisser, (he would send her) right to the moon. No one I knew ever took this seriously any more than the Three Stooges poking each other, or Road Runner and other cartoons as making anyone think of violence.
Today however, it's fine to show dozens of bullets or knife fights with lots of (red paint) blood and guts, just don't incite violence by letting anyone watch what used to be enjoyed by children's cartoons. Were kids smarter and did they just know that this was pretend? When did someone decide a cartoon had to be edited and sanitized and politically correct probably too?
Meanwhile, I am not a fan of certain types of violence. Though I consider martial arts a discipline and a skill and car chases and explosions as exciting stuff; Even now, I will not willing watch evisceration. Neither do I need the Morgue in the show NCIS to always show the cadavers chests peeled back. I know these figures are supposed to be dead people. Why must I unwittingly, get a nasty surprise so often when I go to see a movie or turn on my television. I can't even bother to talk about the current omnipresent Werewolf v.s. Vampire fans.
Meanwhile, people seem to worry most about the least possibility that someone, somewhere, some day might be offended. Television News services and print media also, no doubt are issued Guidelines on acceptable speech and content. If you don't conform, they will either bleep your words, edit you out or reprimand you for not being sensitive. The worst is to be condemned as mean spirited. You are done for then.
Change the name of the sports team from any name that might offend native peoples. I'd say call them Pussies instead, but someone might think I was maligning their pet cat.
As I now say, get over yourself. Get off of the television service that I pay too much for and go find something else to do with your time. As Billy Joel said in a one of his songs My Life; go ahead with your own life, leave me alone.*
*I Am Woman - Helen Reddy and Bill Joel - My Life.
REGAIN YOUR SELF RESPECT
Imagine my surprise, in my late 20's on virtually my first day at a new job at what was, one of the most renowned stock brokerage houses in the world, to hear foul language at work. I was, as the British say, gobsmacked.
The world and I had both come a long way by the late 70's in the use of what used to be called 'foul language' in public.
I was no longer the 14 year old in boarding school who stunned eight people simultaneously by using the word 'Shit'. This was justified to myself, on one occasion only by what I felt was stunning provocation.
Several years out of university, like everyone else in Baby Boom land, I had used some words for effect, emphasis, and sometimes just because I was old enough, and could. But, never at work.
This work group were a bunch of Institutional Traders. It was not long however, before I was more bemused than shocked, by the piles of old dinner plates and cartoons and the language. I soon usually considered it as only a high spirited letting off of steam.
A few years later, in another part of the financial world, I encountered what to me still is, something far worse at work. By that time, at that job, on the street, and in public in general, with movies leading the pack, cursing using God's name and Blaspheming, was suddenly very common.
By the early 80's, and even today, you cannot swear (or use made up swear words, such as what they now call the 'F-bomb') in most public places, without having a dozen people, cringe, as well as, tell you they were angry and also offended. You could however, take God's name in vain, damn anyone you liked and no one, around you in public or especially in the media, would show anger, reprimand you, or ask you to stop.
I don't know why but, some time between the 70's and now, society decided that Blaspheming was fine, but don't offend anyone, with what our mother called, 'bad words'. The most shocking thing seems to be how fast 'word' travelled and became 'common' and ubiquitous. To me however, this is still much worse than swearing at work.
You can however, make a conscious decision to disengage from the coarseness of filthy language, racial epithets, disrespect and blasphemy. You will regain your self respect, as well as, your ability to communicate better. I consider it a Win-Win situation.
(Formerly called - Much Worse than 'Swearing' at work)
The world and I had both come a long way by the late 70's in the use of what used to be called 'foul language' in public.
I was no longer the 14 year old in boarding school who stunned eight people simultaneously by using the word 'Shit'. This was justified to myself, on one occasion only by what I felt was stunning provocation.
Several years out of university, like everyone else in Baby Boom land, I had used some words for effect, emphasis, and sometimes just because I was old enough, and could. But, never at work.
This work group were a bunch of Institutional Traders. It was not long however, before I was more bemused than shocked, by the piles of old dinner plates and cartoons and the language. I soon usually considered it as only a high spirited letting off of steam.
A few years later, in another part of the financial world, I encountered what to me still is, something far worse at work. By that time, at that job, on the street, and in public in general, with movies leading the pack, cursing using God's name and Blaspheming, was suddenly very common.
By the early 80's, and even today, you cannot swear (or use made up swear words, such as what they now call the 'F-bomb') in most public places, without having a dozen people, cringe, as well as, tell you they were angry and also offended. You could however, take God's name in vain, damn anyone you liked and no one, around you in public or especially in the media, would show anger, reprimand you, or ask you to stop.
I don't know why but, some time between the 70's and now, society decided that Blaspheming was fine, but don't offend anyone, with what our mother called, 'bad words'. The most shocking thing seems to be how fast 'word' travelled and became 'common' and ubiquitous. To me however, this is still much worse than swearing at work.
You can however, make a conscious decision to disengage from the coarseness of filthy language, racial epithets, disrespect and blasphemy. You will regain your self respect, as well as, your ability to communicate better. I consider it a Win-Win situation.
(Formerly called - Much Worse than 'Swearing' at work)
GOOD GRIEF - THE CONSOLATION OF MOURNING
There is nothing that compares to the loss of your Best Friend. It doesn't matter when it happens, your Heart is broken and you are prostrated with Grief.
Not all of the wailing and screaming, the rending of raiment (tearing your clothes to shreds), gnashing of your teeth or any other way, you try to find solace and relief, can help.
Your only support at that time is within yourself, with people who understand what this person meant to you, and appreciates also what you meant to them.
It hardly matters if it was someone old or young, though the worst loss anyone feels they can experience is losing someone young, particularly your child. Mercifully I have been spared this, although I almost choked trying to console grieving parents of a newborn once and the only time I screamed when when one of my brothers died at 34 in 1994.
Every time it is different. You may be collapsed in a puddle on the floor; spend the night crying your eyes out but writing the most beautiful eulogy you have never imagined you could or must write. Whatever, you do, it must be perfect because it is your LAST CHANCE to tell them what you wanted to say.
Normally, as you go through any regular day, should you happen to see a Funeral Cortege, you might pause for a few seconds and recognize that someone has died. You, most likely, did not know them. A few seconds later, you might even be moderately impatient that you have to wait a few seconds more to cross the road.
All this changes however, when you are in one of the cars. You see people around you on the street. Somehow they are going on with their daily lives. You can't imagine how you ever will again have a normal day for the rest of your life.
Yesterday, you were there when they died, you were at the hospital, perhaps you actually found them or someone called to tell you that someone close to you had died. You may already have been to the Funeral Parlour for a Visitation, a prayer service, or both to a Funeral Parlour and even worse, have also gone up to the cemetery, where you paid them the money they demanded on the spot and arranged for the interment and marker and everything else you want to do to commemorate your beloveds life.
Even when you thought everything was organized ahead of time, there are still things to do, people to call and services of some kind to arrange and attend. Sometimes, 2 or 3 days and then the funeral service, burial and family meal are ahead.
Years ago, I cringed at the difficult emotions and thought the services too much to endure. As I grew older and lost more and more people around me, particularly both of my parents and older relatives, I came to appreciate that mourning a loss is as important as remembering a life.
So, there you are in the cortege, on this occasion for your father's funeral. Other drivers, are weaving in between the procession. You don't expect to ever have a happy day ahead of you.
You look over to the right as you head north to the Cemetery and you see a Cloud, outlined by the Sun. You smile because earlier, while you were in Church, the Sun suddenly came out. Now the Sun, outlining the Cloud, brings you comfort as nothing else can, that the life cycle of this person is complete and they are finally free of the months of agonizing pain and suffering so stoically and bravely endured. He has left the earth and gone where all of us must one day go, when we have completed our lives.
NOTE: SEE ALSO - A FINAL GOODBYE TO MY BEST FRIEND and
SAY IT NOW AND MAKE LIFE BETTER
Not all of the wailing and screaming, the rending of raiment (tearing your clothes to shreds), gnashing of your teeth or any other way, you try to find solace and relief, can help.
Your only support at that time is within yourself, with people who understand what this person meant to you, and appreciates also what you meant to them.
It hardly matters if it was someone old or young, though the worst loss anyone feels they can experience is losing someone young, particularly your child. Mercifully I have been spared this, although I almost choked trying to console grieving parents of a newborn once and the only time I screamed when when one of my brothers died at 34 in 1994.
Every time it is different. You may be collapsed in a puddle on the floor; spend the night crying your eyes out but writing the most beautiful eulogy you have never imagined you could or must write. Whatever, you do, it must be perfect because it is your LAST CHANCE to tell them what you wanted to say.
Normally, as you go through any regular day, should you happen to see a Funeral Cortege, you might pause for a few seconds and recognize that someone has died. You, most likely, did not know them. A few seconds later, you might even be moderately impatient that you have to wait a few seconds more to cross the road.
All this changes however, when you are in one of the cars. You see people around you on the street. Somehow they are going on with their daily lives. You can't imagine how you ever will again have a normal day for the rest of your life.
Yesterday, you were there when they died, you were at the hospital, perhaps you actually found them or someone called to tell you that someone close to you had died. You may already have been to the Funeral Parlour for a Visitation, a prayer service, or both to a Funeral Parlour and even worse, have also gone up to the cemetery, where you paid them the money they demanded on the spot and arranged for the interment and marker and everything else you want to do to commemorate your beloveds life.
Even when you thought everything was organized ahead of time, there are still things to do, people to call and services of some kind to arrange and attend. Sometimes, 2 or 3 days and then the funeral service, burial and family meal are ahead.
Years ago, I cringed at the difficult emotions and thought the services too much to endure. As I grew older and lost more and more people around me, particularly both of my parents and older relatives, I came to appreciate that mourning a loss is as important as remembering a life.
So, there you are in the cortege, on this occasion for your father's funeral. Other drivers, are weaving in between the procession. You don't expect to ever have a happy day ahead of you.
You look over to the right as you head north to the Cemetery and you see a Cloud, outlined by the Sun. You smile because earlier, while you were in Church, the Sun suddenly came out. Now the Sun, outlining the Cloud, brings you comfort as nothing else can, that the life cycle of this person is complete and they are finally free of the months of agonizing pain and suffering so stoically and bravely endured. He has left the earth and gone where all of us must one day go, when we have completed our lives.
NOTE: SEE ALSO - A FINAL GOODBYE TO MY BEST FRIEND and
SAY IT NOW AND MAKE LIFE BETTER
ENOUGH DRAMA - DO SOME REAL GOOD FOR A CHANGE
There are certain songs out there that cheer us up or somehow are evocative of our own experience. Right now I love Firework and another big favourite is Katy Perry's song 'Hot and Cold'. I am incidentally waging an ongoing debate to get my youngest sister to let her daughter see my copy of the Katy Perry 2011 world tour movie, Part of Me. Kelly Clarkson's "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is another fave for trying days.
Sometimes, some other music follows me through my day. I especially like an oldie called 'It's getting better all time', not always true perhaps, but with my seven year old nephew singing the Blondie song, 'One way or another', I am right there. Sometimes, like Pat Benatar, I say, 'Hit me with your best shot'.
However, right now, I think it's time for all of us to start 'Taking care of business'; preferably our own, for a change. Take note P.C. Word Police, and other bossy people trying to tell us how to run our lives, 'Go Ahead With Your Own Life'.* Let the rest of us get on with our own!
By the way, out of My Space and line of vision! While you are at it, Get off of my Television, that I, not you, pay for!
There are people doing worthwhile things every day. Maybe some of you, with too much time on your hands, can leave your various 'protest' rallies and join them. At the same time, perhaps take a break from offering up your Billionaire parents money to some nebulous 'good cause'.
Who knows, you might even, accidentally stumble across a way to find some productive use for your time; relating to real people for a change. Help someone who is ill, elderly or suffering, even if it's only by donating a few dollars or a few hours to helping people who are truly needy for a change.
The rest of the decadent bunch, affiliated by age and privilege with this lot, probably can't even pretend with the others that they feel principled and noble as many protest movement squatters pretend to. Them, we will find, still in the Shopping Centre, buying up Louis Vuitton $1,500+ handbags and various other expensive crap.
Buy a Blanket for a Shelter, donate a couple of dollars to a Refuge or Food Bank or a Hospital. Spend a bit of time with someone who is alone or battling a serious illness in pain and without company. Do almost anything outside of indulging your useless selves for a change. GET A LIFE, one which you may someday make into someone you might finally be proud of.
Note: The reason you recognize some of the words from popular songs is because very talented musicians shared their considerable talents with the world and gave us words and music we can enjoy in our lives. Bless em all.
*My Life-Billy Joel-1978
Sometimes, some other music follows me through my day. I especially like an oldie called 'It's getting better all time', not always true perhaps, but with my seven year old nephew singing the Blondie song, 'One way or another', I am right there. Sometimes, like Pat Benatar, I say, 'Hit me with your best shot'.
However, right now, I think it's time for all of us to start 'Taking care of business'; preferably our own, for a change. Take note P.C. Word Police, and other bossy people trying to tell us how to run our lives, 'Go Ahead With Your Own Life'.* Let the rest of us get on with our own!
By the way, out of My Space and line of vision! While you are at it, Get off of my Television, that I, not you, pay for!
There are people doing worthwhile things every day. Maybe some of you, with too much time on your hands, can leave your various 'protest' rallies and join them. At the same time, perhaps take a break from offering up your Billionaire parents money to some nebulous 'good cause'.
Who knows, you might even, accidentally stumble across a way to find some productive use for your time; relating to real people for a change. Help someone who is ill, elderly or suffering, even if it's only by donating a few dollars or a few hours to helping people who are truly needy for a change.
The rest of the decadent bunch, affiliated by age and privilege with this lot, probably can't even pretend with the others that they feel principled and noble as many protest movement squatters pretend to. Them, we will find, still in the Shopping Centre, buying up Louis Vuitton $1,500+ handbags and various other expensive crap.
Buy a Blanket for a Shelter, donate a couple of dollars to a Refuge or Food Bank or a Hospital. Spend a bit of time with someone who is alone or battling a serious illness in pain and without company. Do almost anything outside of indulging your useless selves for a change. GET A LIFE, one which you may someday make into someone you might finally be proud of.
Note: The reason you recognize some of the words from popular songs is because very talented musicians shared their considerable talents with the world and gave us words and music we can enjoy in our lives. Bless em all.
*My Life-Billy Joel-1978
SAY IT NOW - MAKE LIFE BETTER
Regardless of when it happens, each of us will someday feel, we lost someone when they died. As the saying goes, Life: no one gets out alive.
When I experienced the first death in my life, of my elderly grandfather, I was just happy that I had, even at 15, the nerve to chance slipping into his hospital room and had been able to see him one more time before he died.
Nevertheless, his death and the loss it caused in my life, was the worst sadness and misery I had ever felt up until that time.
I was blessed, however, not long after, at this early age to find a book that helped me then and helps me now by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, called On Death and Dying. She was a pioneer in talking about the stages she saw both her terminally ill patients and their loved ones experience.
The stages are: Denial and Isolation,Anger,Bargaining,Depression (which I remember as Resignation) and Acceptance. Although, everyone did not experience all of these stages, most of them were normally experienced by the patient or their loved ones and in Bereavement.
What she had to say was very helpful to me, but something else she said changed the way I live forever.
In the course of the book, she mentioned that she attended a eulogy for someone. Various friends and family spoke about the person who had died. Almost all of them, mentioned his beautiful hands and how he expressed himself with them.
I knew exactly what Kubler-Ross meant because I had seen a wonderful Life magazine vignette of a half dozen photos where Sophia Loren used her hands to communicate a variety of emotions.
What Kubler-Ross thought however, was what a pity it was that no one ever thought to tell this man the joy and pleasure he had brought to so many with his expressive gestures.
I determined at that young age, to NEVER neglect to tell someone that something about them was lovely.
While, I have to admit, sometimes I forget, I even go up to strangers when I admire something and tell them.
One day last year, it was an Oriental girl who looked like Kate Middleton from the side and had the same smile; another time recently, it was someone wearing the perfect shade of lipstick. Any day at all when I see a little girl in her "Princess Dress", I speak with her and her parents.
I was delighted just last Friday, in Tim Horton's at Davisville and Yonge, in the late afternoon, by a woman who came up to me and said my hair colour was wonderful and I looked 'with it' and modern and up to date. It made my day. Obviously this lady was someone with taste and discernment...so, we had a nice chat. No wonder I still believe the best things in life are free.
NOTE: SEE ALSO - GOOD GRIEF - THE CONSOLATION OF MOURNING and
A FINAL GOODBYE TO MY BEST FRIEND
When I experienced the first death in my life, of my elderly grandfather, I was just happy that I had, even at 15, the nerve to chance slipping into his hospital room and had been able to see him one more time before he died.
Nevertheless, his death and the loss it caused in my life, was the worst sadness and misery I had ever felt up until that time.
I was blessed, however, not long after, at this early age to find a book that helped me then and helps me now by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, called On Death and Dying. She was a pioneer in talking about the stages she saw both her terminally ill patients and their loved ones experience.
The stages are: Denial and Isolation,Anger,Bargaining,Depression (which I remember as Resignation) and Acceptance. Although, everyone did not experience all of these stages, most of them were normally experienced by the patient or their loved ones and in Bereavement.
What she had to say was very helpful to me, but something else she said changed the way I live forever.
In the course of the book, she mentioned that she attended a eulogy for someone. Various friends and family spoke about the person who had died. Almost all of them, mentioned his beautiful hands and how he expressed himself with them.
I knew exactly what Kubler-Ross meant because I had seen a wonderful Life magazine vignette of a half dozen photos where Sophia Loren used her hands to communicate a variety of emotions.
What Kubler-Ross thought however, was what a pity it was that no one ever thought to tell this man the joy and pleasure he had brought to so many with his expressive gestures.
I determined at that young age, to NEVER neglect to tell someone that something about them was lovely.
While, I have to admit, sometimes I forget, I even go up to strangers when I admire something and tell them.
One day last year, it was an Oriental girl who looked like Kate Middleton from the side and had the same smile; another time recently, it was someone wearing the perfect shade of lipstick. Any day at all when I see a little girl in her "Princess Dress", I speak with her and her parents.
I was delighted just last Friday, in Tim Horton's at Davisville and Yonge, in the late afternoon, by a woman who came up to me and said my hair colour was wonderful and I looked 'with it' and modern and up to date. It made my day. Obviously this lady was someone with taste and discernment...so, we had a nice chat. No wonder I still believe the best things in life are free.
NOTE: SEE ALSO - GOOD GRIEF - THE CONSOLATION OF MOURNING and
A FINAL GOODBYE TO MY BEST FRIEND
LIFE IS NOT TOO SHORT
Like many other buzz words that become part of the lexicon the phrase, Life Is Too Short, next to being untrue, has also become banal.
Why is life too short? Too short for what? Too short to experience the Life Cycle and grow up. Maybe sometimes, but does that mean you should not plan for the future?
While, time does seem to pass by more quickly as we go on in life and it makes sense to not save all of the things we would like to do for later; most of us should have plenty of time to LIVE long enough to experience a lot of different things before whatever time we have is over.
Someone said, Use the Good Dishes; someone else said, This is Not a Dress Rehearsal. Nothing wrong with not saving and hoarding things or experiences we might enjoy adding to our lives. We will, if nothing else, have tried more things than we would by miserly begrudging ourselves enough time to meet our friends and have given the meeting enough time to both see and hear them.
Although, we don't have to frantically race through life because we haven't a moment to spare, there is nothing wrong with acknowledging the value of those around us. Telling people today that we care about them and value what they have bring to our lives is, in fact, something we should not ever postpone.
In fact, if you have actually decided that you really believe that 'Life 'IS too short'; all the more reason to hit the Bucket List with a vengeance, and not forget to tell the people that matter(ed), before time runs out, that we love them. Now this latter is one time, where we can't say it too early or too often for either your own or their sakes.
Why is life too short? Too short for what? Too short to experience the Life Cycle and grow up. Maybe sometimes, but does that mean you should not plan for the future?
While, time does seem to pass by more quickly as we go on in life and it makes sense to not save all of the things we would like to do for later; most of us should have plenty of time to LIVE long enough to experience a lot of different things before whatever time we have is over.
Someone said, Use the Good Dishes; someone else said, This is Not a Dress Rehearsal. Nothing wrong with not saving and hoarding things or experiences we might enjoy adding to our lives. We will, if nothing else, have tried more things than we would by miserly begrudging ourselves enough time to meet our friends and have given the meeting enough time to both see and hear them.
Although, we don't have to frantically race through life because we haven't a moment to spare, there is nothing wrong with acknowledging the value of those around us. Telling people today that we care about them and value what they have bring to our lives is, in fact, something we should not ever postpone.
In fact, if you have actually decided that you really believe that 'Life 'IS too short'; all the more reason to hit the Bucket List with a vengeance, and not forget to tell the people that matter(ed), before time runs out, that we love them. Now this latter is one time, where we can't say it too early or too often for either your own or their sakes.
FRIENDSHIP - I LIKE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE
Friendship and Love are based on Understanding and Acceptance...on someone telling you I LIKE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.
Sometimes you find exactly what you need, just when you need it most. For me as a young girl it was a book I found. I have no idea why I picked it up. I do know why I kept it for many years after.
The book which affected me so profoundly had the odd title, "My Friend says it's Bulletproof". It was by a novelist named Penelope Mortimer. It was about a tough subject which wasn't talked about much then, Breast Cancer.
The books main character is a 27 year old woman who discovers she has Breast Cancer. The book written in 1967, is apparently an overlooked early Feminist book. I didn't know that till just a minute ago. If I remember correctly, the title comes from a couple of young boys ogling a beautiful, expensive car.
What is going on the book, in those early days and treatments of what later became a Breast Cancer epidemic, is the trauma and convolution you feel when someone tells you that you have Cancer.*
While, many people have operation scars of some sort, the loss of a Breast is one that causes cataclysmic emotional distress. Thinking about dying from this kind of Cancer might actually be secondary to being convinced no one will ever look at you in a normal way again, or care for you.
The most important and uplifting lifesaver is her new boyfriend's acceptance shown by his telling her that, "I like you just the way you are". This declaration saves her.
I kept the book around for years, because I knew instinctively that this simple wonderful statement of understanding and acceptance was one of the most important things anyone could ever say to another person. In 1977, Billy Joel sang a wonderful song with the same title.
Someone once said, Your friends you can count on one hand and usually on one finger. How right he was.
How happy we are, when we know that someone out there understands us. Even more wonderful is that they understanding us, and miraculously, accept us as we are. Wonderful to hear, even better to recognize we have a real friend, at last.
*See also my essay entitled: BC (BEFORE CANCER) and AC (AFTER CANCER).
AND
the June 15th, 2013 essay: ACCEPTANCE: I LIKE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE
Sometimes you find exactly what you need, just when you need it most. For me as a young girl it was a book I found. I have no idea why I picked it up. I do know why I kept it for many years after.
The book which affected me so profoundly had the odd title, "My Friend says it's Bulletproof". It was by a novelist named Penelope Mortimer. It was about a tough subject which wasn't talked about much then, Breast Cancer.
The books main character is a 27 year old woman who discovers she has Breast Cancer. The book written in 1967, is apparently an overlooked early Feminist book. I didn't know that till just a minute ago. If I remember correctly, the title comes from a couple of young boys ogling a beautiful, expensive car.
What is going on the book, in those early days and treatments of what later became a Breast Cancer epidemic, is the trauma and convolution you feel when someone tells you that you have Cancer.*
While, many people have operation scars of some sort, the loss of a Breast is one that causes cataclysmic emotional distress. Thinking about dying from this kind of Cancer might actually be secondary to being convinced no one will ever look at you in a normal way again, or care for you.
The most important and uplifting lifesaver is her new boyfriend's acceptance shown by his telling her that, "I like you just the way you are". This declaration saves her.
I kept the book around for years, because I knew instinctively that this simple wonderful statement of understanding and acceptance was one of the most important things anyone could ever say to another person. In 1977, Billy Joel sang a wonderful song with the same title.
Someone once said, Your friends you can count on one hand and usually on one finger. How right he was.
How happy we are, when we know that someone out there understands us. Even more wonderful is that they understanding us, and miraculously, accept us as we are. Wonderful to hear, even better to recognize we have a real friend, at last.
*See also my essay entitled: BC (BEFORE CANCER) and AC (AFTER CANCER).
AND
the June 15th, 2013 essay: ACCEPTANCE: I LIKE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE
SIMPLER IS EASIER AND BETTER
Most of us have heard the KISS acronym at one time or another. Keep It Simple Stupid resonates especially when we are in the middle of a muddle. Suddenly we find ourselves asking, Why did I not think this out before I started it?
Why did I: ever start this project; empty out my cupboards; lift that heavy piece of furniture; decide to say that, and a myriad of other things that we might have thought about doing rather than plunging into. Get involved with Mr. (not quite) Right again.
An ideal thing in life would probably be to have what you want and want what you have. If you had what you wanted and you wanted only what you had, you might have the prescription for life in total balance and happiness.
How to Want what you Have-Discovering the Magic and Grandeur of Ordinary Existence by Timothy Miller's seemed a promising book. I really like the idea of wanting what I have and being satisfied. He suggests cognitive theory and mantras to work against our inherent desire to always want more.
I personally decided to simplify my life over 20 years ago, with determination and good intentions. It will be something I plan to always work on.
There are definitely some things we can get out of our lives immediately, by learning to control and let go of bitterness and anger against someone we feel has disappointed us, or done something hurtful or wrong to us.
Almost everyone I know has someone in their lives who we wish treated us differently. We hoped that this person could have understood and appreciated us. If they only had, they could then could have given us what we wish they could. Sometimes, we keep hoping for years, that maybe someday they still might.
Meanwhile, the only thing being angry and/or bitterly disappointed does, is make us unhappy. It may also drive that person and many others away from us forever.
Forgiving, or at least, trying to forgive others we feel have hurt us, frees us to forgive ourselves for the time we have actually wasted being negative. It may also lets us regain a positive outlook and determine to proceed ahead with more optimism and hope. Once we let go of these feelings and stop upsetting ourselves about them, we can finally move forward.
The Serenity Prayer, by Reinhold Niebuhr, in its first paragraph, talks about accepting the things you cannot change, finding the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference. It is known as the prayer that Alcoholics Anonymous uses.
"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference".
Only we can make the changes necessary to improve our own lives. This takes courage, because to truly change, we need to venture out of our familiar routine and 'comfort zone'. Usually we will need to do something we have been afraid to do.
Sometimes thinking about what might happen if we dared, and actually did, that thing we postponed doing for a long time, might give us the incentive and confidence to, at least, give it a try. We might actually succeed. At the very least, we might have tried something new and been pleasantly surprised that we liked it.
If you can't start with emotional housecleaning, then begin with material things. When you can, move into your reactions, responses, attitudes and behaviour. If nothing else, both your home and your mind will be less cluttered...but probably a lot more will be improved.
We occasionally see someone who has regained a lot of the freedom and the carefree attitude that we last remember seeing in ourselves when we were young children. Maybe with a few steps in the right direction, we might sometime soon begin to see a person like that when we look in the mirror.
Why did I: ever start this project; empty out my cupboards; lift that heavy piece of furniture; decide to say that, and a myriad of other things that we might have thought about doing rather than plunging into. Get involved with Mr. (not quite) Right again.
An ideal thing in life would probably be to have what you want and want what you have. If you had what you wanted and you wanted only what you had, you might have the prescription for life in total balance and happiness.
How to Want what you Have-Discovering the Magic and Grandeur of Ordinary Existence by Timothy Miller's seemed a promising book. I really like the idea of wanting what I have and being satisfied. He suggests cognitive theory and mantras to work against our inherent desire to always want more.
I personally decided to simplify my life over 20 years ago, with determination and good intentions. It will be something I plan to always work on.
There are definitely some things we can get out of our lives immediately, by learning to control and let go of bitterness and anger against someone we feel has disappointed us, or done something hurtful or wrong to us.
Almost everyone I know has someone in their lives who we wish treated us differently. We hoped that this person could have understood and appreciated us. If they only had, they could then could have given us what we wish they could. Sometimes, we keep hoping for years, that maybe someday they still might.
Meanwhile, the only thing being angry and/or bitterly disappointed does, is make us unhappy. It may also drive that person and many others away from us forever.
Forgiving, or at least, trying to forgive others we feel have hurt us, frees us to forgive ourselves for the time we have actually wasted being negative. It may also lets us regain a positive outlook and determine to proceed ahead with more optimism and hope. Once we let go of these feelings and stop upsetting ourselves about them, we can finally move forward.
The Serenity Prayer, by Reinhold Niebuhr, in its first paragraph, talks about accepting the things you cannot change, finding the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference. It is known as the prayer that Alcoholics Anonymous uses.
"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference".
Only we can make the changes necessary to improve our own lives. This takes courage, because to truly change, we need to venture out of our familiar routine and 'comfort zone'. Usually we will need to do something we have been afraid to do.
Sometimes thinking about what might happen if we dared, and actually did, that thing we postponed doing for a long time, might give us the incentive and confidence to, at least, give it a try. We might actually succeed. At the very least, we might have tried something new and been pleasantly surprised that we liked it.
If you can't start with emotional housecleaning, then begin with material things. When you can, move into your reactions, responses, attitudes and behaviour. If nothing else, both your home and your mind will be less cluttered...but probably a lot more will be improved.
We occasionally see someone who has regained a lot of the freedom and the carefree attitude that we last remember seeing in ourselves when we were young children. Maybe with a few steps in the right direction, we might sometime soon begin to see a person like that when we look in the mirror.
Friday, 5 April 2013
WHEN EVERY DAY IS CASUAL FRIDAY
People have become almost totally casual about what they wear. This is the case almost anywhere you go and also whatever the occasion.
A joke about men and women shows a variety of occasions in which women wear a different shoe on each occasion and the man wears the same running shoes for all of them.
Women do change their shoes a lot, probably because our shoes are notoriously uncomfortable, however, we don't dress up very often to go along with the shoe changes.
It takes education and self knowledge to recognize and appreciate quality but unfortunately it is not readily available in the absurdly expensive trend obsessed, advertiser-driven fashion magazines. Looking at these probably drives people either to buying lots and lots of new things all the time or giving up completely and wearing the same dozen things everywhere.
I suspect that few people really appreciate that a couple of great outfits, even consisting of a total of 4 or 5 pieces can give you many suitable combinations and take you to a large variety of events looking well put together.
As Sophia Loren once said, starting with a black (dark) skirt and blouse begins any wardrobe decently and suitably. Meanwhile, French women usually buy 10 quality items, of as fine a quality as they can and alternate and coordinate these with other accessory items.
Price per wearing on something of good to great quality averages out to a miniscule amount of money over time. In contrast, the armfuls of stuff you give away, unworn, often with price tags still on them, cost most of us dearly.
However, if you don't see well dressed people around you or on the street, and magazines show their advertisers wildly expensive trendy clothes, how can you learn how to 'invest' your hard earned money wisely in clothing that is both durable and appealing. That the same clothes also be age appropriate and reasonably stylish, usually makes dressing a burden, not a pleasure.
Some of us concede defeat and surrender by wearing jeans or a track suit or literally the same items we wore to school however, many years later we find ourselves.
As a little girl, I remember that every Saturday night, my father polished all of my brothers shoes, and washed the car. The girls always had a new hat and coat for Easter as well as white gloves at least until about 1965. We went to church every Sunday and were always tidy and neat and in 'Sunday clothes'.
While, admittedly I worked in the business world downtown, I don't remember seeing people wearing sweatpants, men going to work without jackets and very casual slacks worn by women or men on almost any and every occasion. This now applies whether they are going to see a sporting event, wash their car or going to the theatre.
I remember in the mid 90's showing a woman a gorgeous fine quality blazer and skirt suit at the charity clothing store I volunteered at. She said she had no occasion to wear it...to work or anywhere else. She also said that she worked downtown for the president of her company.
When people come to a funeral parlour dressed in sandals and shorts; when no one dresses up and everyday is 'casual Friday', when is any occasion special?
As I write this, I realize that my own 4 and 1/2 months in sandals, makes me as guilty as everyone else in wearing about 20 casual, casual items over and over again all the time, for the last decade.
I think that for my own personal satisfaction, it's time for me to reach into the closet for the beautiful classics I love. Had these lovely garments been people, they would have died of loneliness, sitting in the dark, hunched down over their hangers by now. Time to bring all of that beauty and colour and take it out for a walk.
NOTE: SEE ALSO - CLOTHES THEN AND NOW and
CLOTHES LOVER - FINDING BEAUTY ON THE STREET and
AT LEAST WALMARTIANS ARE REAL PEOPLE
Thursday, 4 April 2013
THE DISCONNECTED NUCLEUR FAMILY - RELATIVELY SPEAKING
Several years ago, I noticed a lot of people referring to people that I would have called my grandparents as their mother's father and their father's mother. To me, this implied a lack of emotional connection between the speaker and his father or mother's parents. I also felt it demonstrated a lack of proper respect for their elders.
I cringed when I heard various children and teenagers calling their parents by their first names. At first I was shocked enough to ask my friends and family why they allowed this, but now I find it so common that I don't bother.
I am told I'm the only one it bothers. I have decided that I am going to continue to let it bother me and demand the courtesy and respect that I deserve. The parents can accept what they please from their children. I will decide how I will respond and what I find acceptable.
I say this because I truly believe, the disconnection from immediate family members has serious implications for our lives. It is hard enough to accept the death of our parents, who play(ed) such an immediate and important part in our development. To not have any further connections with relatives, leaves us, I feel, quite rootless.
Perhaps because I, like so many of my fellow Canadians, am only a second generation Canadian; the loss of a family history has always effected me. As a result, I have secretly envied the people who can trace their family tree back for many generations.
It does not matter to me what 'family skeletons' I might discover. To me, it would be so nice to have 'roots' more clearly illustrated than knowing my maiden name is an ancient one going back to the Bronze Age.
Meanwhile, the only justification for casual disassociation from your mother's and father's parents and our parents brothers and sister's would be where no 'blood ties' exist due to remarriages and divorces etc.
My late husband's grown children, who officially might be considered my stepchildren, seem to have considered me solely as their father's wife for 20 years. It seems the type of connection one usually has with in-laws never happened. Shortly after their father's death, they wished me well and have not been part of my life since that time.
A disconnection with step children, is more logical and somewhat easier to understand than today's apparent lack of connection to our own blood lines and family tree.
I cringed when I heard various children and teenagers calling their parents by their first names. At first I was shocked enough to ask my friends and family why they allowed this, but now I find it so common that I don't bother.
I am told I'm the only one it bothers. I have decided that I am going to continue to let it bother me and demand the courtesy and respect that I deserve. The parents can accept what they please from their children. I will decide how I will respond and what I find acceptable.
I say this because I truly believe, the disconnection from immediate family members has serious implications for our lives. It is hard enough to accept the death of our parents, who play(ed) such an immediate and important part in our development. To not have any further connections with relatives, leaves us, I feel, quite rootless.
Perhaps because I, like so many of my fellow Canadians, am only a second generation Canadian; the loss of a family history has always effected me. As a result, I have secretly envied the people who can trace their family tree back for many generations.
It does not matter to me what 'family skeletons' I might discover. To me, it would be so nice to have 'roots' more clearly illustrated than knowing my maiden name is an ancient one going back to the Bronze Age.
Meanwhile, the only justification for casual disassociation from your mother's and father's parents and our parents brothers and sister's would be where no 'blood ties' exist due to remarriages and divorces etc.
My late husband's grown children, who officially might be considered my stepchildren, seem to have considered me solely as their father's wife for 20 years. It seems the type of connection one usually has with in-laws never happened. Shortly after their father's death, they wished me well and have not been part of my life since that time.
A disconnection with step children, is more logical and somewhat easier to understand than today's apparent lack of connection to our own blood lines and family tree.
PLAYING OUR PARTS IN LIFE - ALL THE WORLDS A STAGE
In Shakespeare's play As You Like It, he compares life to a play and all of us to players in it. He continues with a monologue about the Seven Ages of Man as we go through life. These seven stages: infancy, childhood, the lover, the soldier, the justice, old age and extreme old age are the landmarks that we experience as we go through life.
I remember someone saying to me that until you're thirty life keeps changing on you. It sometimes seems it is completely different between one day and the next. During this period, most of us are on our own for the first time, discovering new things, making our own decisions, and enjoying the freedom to choose what we like. It seems that we have limitless options, and a whole world is opening up before us, filled with endless possibilities.
I have passed on the same advice which I found so helpful when I was under thirty. I tell others that you will live a lot of lives in the course of your life. Before your thirties perhaps, you are likely to experience constant change and evolution probably because you are spontaneous and open to new ideas, places, people and things.
Later in life, usually however, there comes a point where we want to 'settle down', and build a base and a secure home for ourselves; a haven and refuge of sorts. Here we feel we can be ourselves, spend time with like minded friends and generally establish a foundation.
Subsequently, we pass through different milestones, marking our lives and the fairly logical order of the life cycle. What your life is like as you get older, may depend upon how willing we have been to experience and accept change.
For me, much of my adult life evolved organically, some out of necessity and a lot from seeing where the choices I made brought me.
Whenever, I felt anxiety, concern or distress, I knew that some of this comes into each of our lives. Very often, I found that life seemed much easier when I tried to see the 'pot of gold' at the end of the rainbow rather than the lightning and thunder in the middle of a bad storm.
Change, constant or periodic need not worry or even concern us unduly since it often brings a mixture of good and bad with it. Surprisingly in retrospect it has taken us in the 'right direction'.
I do not believe that our lives are predetermined. I also don't think that whatever we do is fine provided we like it and it feels good.
I don't think we need to be fatalistic or resigned that nothing we do matters because everything in our lives if foreordained. On the other hand, I don't think we are so interconnected that our every action impacts the universe in a butterfly effect.
I believe instead that we have choices we can make, that if we decide to treat others the way we want to be treated, and consistently try to make
things better; we are much more likely to be happy and less likely to feel guilt, regret and disappointment.
Small 'coincidences', feeling deja vu, acknowledging good and beauty when we see it, and generally making a decision to consistently do our best; will go a long way toward our being confident and comfortable with ourselves and other people around us.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_the_world's_a_stage
I remember someone saying to me that until you're thirty life keeps changing on you. It sometimes seems it is completely different between one day and the next. During this period, most of us are on our own for the first time, discovering new things, making our own decisions, and enjoying the freedom to choose what we like. It seems that we have limitless options, and a whole world is opening up before us, filled with endless possibilities.
I have passed on the same advice which I found so helpful when I was under thirty. I tell others that you will live a lot of lives in the course of your life. Before your thirties perhaps, you are likely to experience constant change and evolution probably because you are spontaneous and open to new ideas, places, people and things.
Later in life, usually however, there comes a point where we want to 'settle down', and build a base and a secure home for ourselves; a haven and refuge of sorts. Here we feel we can be ourselves, spend time with like minded friends and generally establish a foundation.
Subsequently, we pass through different milestones, marking our lives and the fairly logical order of the life cycle. What your life is like as you get older, may depend upon how willing we have been to experience and accept change.
For me, much of my adult life evolved organically, some out of necessity and a lot from seeing where the choices I made brought me.
Whenever, I felt anxiety, concern or distress, I knew that some of this comes into each of our lives. Very often, I found that life seemed much easier when I tried to see the 'pot of gold' at the end of the rainbow rather than the lightning and thunder in the middle of a bad storm.
Change, constant or periodic need not worry or even concern us unduly since it often brings a mixture of good and bad with it. Surprisingly in retrospect it has taken us in the 'right direction'.
I do not believe that our lives are predetermined. I also don't think that whatever we do is fine provided we like it and it feels good.
I don't think we need to be fatalistic or resigned that nothing we do matters because everything in our lives if foreordained. On the other hand, I don't think we are so interconnected that our every action impacts the universe in a butterfly effect.
I believe instead that we have choices we can make, that if we decide to treat others the way we want to be treated, and consistently try to make
things better; we are much more likely to be happy and less likely to feel guilt, regret and disappointment.
Small 'coincidences', feeling deja vu, acknowledging good and beauty when we see it, and generally making a decision to consistently do our best; will go a long way toward our being confident and comfortable with ourselves and other people around us.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_the_world's_a_stage
Wednesday, 3 April 2013
TODAY'S FAMILY - GETTING TOGETHER & SPLITTING UP
Until recently, I had always felt an intrinsic theoretical respect for the law. I felt that it had been established over centuries, had helped to regularize interaction between people, settle disputes impartially and generally existed to protect the most vulnerable in society.
I understood that judges made rulings on cases in which cooperation and compromise had not been reached between two parties. I did not realize however, how serious these judgements could be, nor that amendments and adjustments after a judgement were both time consuming and difficult to make.
Various people around me however, advised me that, interactions and relationships with other people, could because of regulations pertaining to common law unions, effect my status in a relationship within a relatively short time and entitle someone else to a share of my property.
I was not aware that various types of new arrangements in family composition had over the past decades created significant legal changes.
A new show is about to premiere shortly about Living at Home with your Parents - Forever. Clearly more had happened to change family living arrangements than I ever imagined.
For example, many women are now considered single parents. The never married mother is sometimes ludicrously placed next to the widow; as if there was any relation whatsoever between them, in the way they conducted 'their affairs'.
Meanwhile, many adult children have either never left their parental homes or have returned after they had completed their education. Other adult children have returned alone or with the grandchildren in tow, after a divorce. In addition, in the past decade or more, a considerable number of grandparents are raising their grandchildren themselves.
Ageing parents affairs, are now often legally administered and directed by one or more of their adult children. When they want or need to go to a retirement or long term care residence, their houses are sold and their children often obtain power of attorney over their affairs.
Statistics show that more relationships are ending within a short time, perhaps because the participants can not form a life together, have different expectations that do not mesh well together or simply because people leave situations they no longer want to be in more easily.
Average working people are getting pre-nuptial agreements prior to living together, whether they ever intend to marry or not. While to me this would be a recipe anticipating separation, for others, it seems a logical measure which protects each person's assets better than an informal arrangement would.
Nevertheless, people still seem to want to be together. Perhaps what we are seeing is a new way to reassure everyone that the law will ensure that neither party will be cheated financially. The courts must have decided that they no longer cared about anyone's responsibility for the dissolution of a marriage; once the financial responsibilities were laid out, dependents were protected and the former couple could let their money keep them warm at night.
SEE ALSO: ALL I WANT IS A LITTLE RESPECT
I understood that judges made rulings on cases in which cooperation and compromise had not been reached between two parties. I did not realize however, how serious these judgements could be, nor that amendments and adjustments after a judgement were both time consuming and difficult to make.
Various people around me however, advised me that, interactions and relationships with other people, could because of regulations pertaining to common law unions, effect my status in a relationship within a relatively short time and entitle someone else to a share of my property.
I was not aware that various types of new arrangements in family composition had over the past decades created significant legal changes.
A new show is about to premiere shortly about Living at Home with your Parents - Forever. Clearly more had happened to change family living arrangements than I ever imagined.
For example, many women are now considered single parents. The never married mother is sometimes ludicrously placed next to the widow; as if there was any relation whatsoever between them, in the way they conducted 'their affairs'.
Meanwhile, many adult children have either never left their parental homes or have returned after they had completed their education. Other adult children have returned alone or with the grandchildren in tow, after a divorce. In addition, in the past decade or more, a considerable number of grandparents are raising their grandchildren themselves.
Ageing parents affairs, are now often legally administered and directed by one or more of their adult children. When they want or need to go to a retirement or long term care residence, their houses are sold and their children often obtain power of attorney over their affairs.
Statistics show that more relationships are ending within a short time, perhaps because the participants can not form a life together, have different expectations that do not mesh well together or simply because people leave situations they no longer want to be in more easily.
Average working people are getting pre-nuptial agreements prior to living together, whether they ever intend to marry or not. While to me this would be a recipe anticipating separation, for others, it seems a logical measure which protects each person's assets better than an informal arrangement would.
Nevertheless, people still seem to want to be together. Perhaps what we are seeing is a new way to reassure everyone that the law will ensure that neither party will be cheated financially. The courts must have decided that they no longer cared about anyone's responsibility for the dissolution of a marriage; once the financial responsibilities were laid out, dependents were protected and the former couple could let their money keep them warm at night.
SEE ALSO: ALL I WANT IS A LITTLE RESPECT
COMMON SENSE IS STILL ON VACATION
THE 'DO AS I SAY, NOT DO AS I DO' CROWD IN THE MEDIA AND ACADEMIA IS STILL CONVINCED THEY KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR US. I THINK THAT COMMON SENSE IS STILL AWOL AND ON VACATION IN 2013.
Recent decades, have in my opinion, seen the Politically Correct, 'Thought Police', run amok in the universities and in the mainstream media. We have been assaulted by millions of intemperate words and often illogical and irrational nonsense.
It becomes incumbent for each of us to discover a way to sidestep and avoid especially the 'talking heads' of the media generally. More specifically the partisan spokesmen for the political parties, particularly during election periods seem even worse. It seems only with difficulty, that any of us can escape their ubiquitous hectoring harangues.
I suppose there always were and probably always will be, people convinced that they are better, more nobly motivated and in general, smarter than the rest of us. Because of this fundamental belief, this type of person or group feels entitled to tell the rest of us what to do and what is best for us. For our own good of course. They seem convinced that, just as long as we do what they tell us to do, a better world can be created.
In earlier generations, most of us would have simply thought these ideas stupid or crazy and ignored them. The pervasive media, that has developed since communication became universal, however, has made it possible both for both good and bad ideas to reach into our lives.
It is true that good occurs when less abuse can now take place without exposure and censure. However, 24/7 media days also mean that even small and strange groups can transmit even the most stupid and senseless ideas and be given consideration.
Meanwhile today, even calling someone stupid or crazy would like incur someone’s anger at our intolerance and insensitivity. The bigger sin today seems to be to be considered judgemental, mean spirited or closed minded.
Media owners are probably a relatively small group, each trying to attract an audience on a 24/7 basis. Undoubtedly, this has effected the content transmitted by many of them. Hoping perhaps, to give people what they seem to want and attract advertisers willing to pay for the largest audience, some formats seem to be more prevalent than others. Seeing the same message, or pundits, might give various groups more credibility and importance than they would logically deserve.
There are times when we might feel an almost Missionary mania exists among the groups we see whenever we view the Media. All too often it seems such groups seem determined to convince the rest of us that they are right. In fact, some of them seem relentless. Patiently and tirelessly, they push the rest of us, to accept and adopt their ideas and theories.
Personally, I believe that there is a lot more abstract opinions and theory than practical ideas coming from these pundits and academics. I think we are actually being admonition to 'do as I say, not as I do'; whatever a group is trying to Sell us.
I doubt, many people would even want, let alone be able to live by theories in their actual lives. I find most people find that being practical not only makes sense, but also, makes life simpler than theorizing about the state of the world 24/7.
Nevertheless, at the present time, the 24/7 airwaves give any idea, even those convinced that only anarchy, or annihilation will purge the present system of its errors and weaknesses, as much freedom as any other. Meanwhile, there seems to be an audience out there somewhere ready to, at least listen to and possibly believe, almost anything they hear, however, unique, unusual, impractical or weird, that idea might be.
Recent decades, have in my opinion, seen the Politically Correct, 'Thought Police', run amok in the universities and in the mainstream media. We have been assaulted by millions of intemperate words and often illogical and irrational nonsense.
It becomes incumbent for each of us to discover a way to sidestep and avoid especially the 'talking heads' of the media generally. More specifically the partisan spokesmen for the political parties, particularly during election periods seem even worse. It seems only with difficulty, that any of us can escape their ubiquitous hectoring harangues.
I suppose there always were and probably always will be, people convinced that they are better, more nobly motivated and in general, smarter than the rest of us. Because of this fundamental belief, this type of person or group feels entitled to tell the rest of us what to do and what is best for us. For our own good of course. They seem convinced that, just as long as we do what they tell us to do, a better world can be created.
In earlier generations, most of us would have simply thought these ideas stupid or crazy and ignored them. The pervasive media, that has developed since communication became universal, however, has made it possible both for both good and bad ideas to reach into our lives.
It is true that good occurs when less abuse can now take place without exposure and censure. However, 24/7 media days also mean that even small and strange groups can transmit even the most stupid and senseless ideas and be given consideration.
Meanwhile today, even calling someone stupid or crazy would like incur someone’s anger at our intolerance and insensitivity. The bigger sin today seems to be to be considered judgemental, mean spirited or closed minded.
Media owners are probably a relatively small group, each trying to attract an audience on a 24/7 basis. Undoubtedly, this has effected the content transmitted by many of them. Hoping perhaps, to give people what they seem to want and attract advertisers willing to pay for the largest audience, some formats seem to be more prevalent than others. Seeing the same message, or pundits, might give various groups more credibility and importance than they would logically deserve.
There are times when we might feel an almost Missionary mania exists among the groups we see whenever we view the Media. All too often it seems such groups seem determined to convince the rest of us that they are right. In fact, some of them seem relentless. Patiently and tirelessly, they push the rest of us, to accept and adopt their ideas and theories.
Personally, I believe that there is a lot more abstract opinions and theory than practical ideas coming from these pundits and academics. I think we are actually being admonition to 'do as I say, not as I do'; whatever a group is trying to Sell us.
I doubt, many people would even want, let alone be able to live by theories in their actual lives. I find most people find that being practical not only makes sense, but also, makes life simpler than theorizing about the state of the world 24/7.
Nevertheless, at the present time, the 24/7 airwaves give any idea, even those convinced that only anarchy, or annihilation will purge the present system of its errors and weaknesses, as much freedom as any other. Meanwhile, there seems to be an audience out there somewhere ready to, at least listen to and possibly believe, almost anything they hear, however, unique, unusual, impractical or weird, that idea might be.
RIGHT AND WRONG - RIGHT AND LEFT
In Britain there seems to very clear distinctions between the right and the left politically. To those of us on the other side of the pond, it sometimes seems as never the two will meet. I find however, that the political discourse is less
strident than what we get in North America.
Here polarized factions each accuse the other of 'mean spiritedness' and being uncaring about their fellow man. The opposite viewpoint is demonized and stridently vilified. Dozens of pundits and supporters seem ready to shout down opposition, especially during election years.
Meanwhile, since the 1980's, I have personally felt comfortable enough with my convictions to believe that conservative ethical philosophy suits my beliefs and values the best.
I don't think anyone in politics today however, compares with the politicians of the 1980's as well as other periods of the past, when people have come forward and created the great institutions which have led to longer periods of world peace and greater prosperity than during most of recorded history.
Because I believe this, I feel that one of the times when the world was blessed was a time "When Character Was King" in the words of Ronald Reagan's speechwriter, Peggy Noonan. I think that the 1980's for the first time in a generation, a group of people were in power/leadership at the same time and were able to actively work to return freedom to millions of oppressed people.
As far as I'm concerned, Ronald Reagan, in conjunction with Margaret Thatcher and Pope John Paul II, ended the malaise of the Cold War and ushered the world into a new era. By finally calling Communism out and actively working to give it it's final push into the dustbin of history, they performed a great service for mankind.
Each of them put out a clear message in black and white about right versus wrong and though their detractors urged them to be more cautious and temper what they said in case they caused offense, they spoke clearly about what they saw as wrong.
Since, I am inclined to the right, I am convinced that the left is basically a small determined group who are convinced they are best equipped to design a better world and intend to do this by oligarchical direction telling the rest of us, and each other, what to do and say.
I also believe that they do not trust their fellow man to do the right thing. I am convinced that they believe that no one would ever help anyone else were it not for the government forcing them to do it.
This to me is a cynical view of our fellow man and disregards the many achievements, inventions and selfless contributions and accomplishments that have improved our lives in successive generations.
Consequently, I accept the likelihood that the left and I are unlikely to see things the same way. I am however, I suspect, more inclined to accept their right to voice their opinions, because this after all, is the hard won Freedom that our fathers fought and sacrificed themselves to preserve for us.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)