WHAT I SHOULD HAVE SAID

At the beginning of the month I was talking about how UNFINISHED BUSINESS STALKS US. When we leave something unsaid or undone and dance around the long overdue goodbye, the situation remains unresolved.

I screen my phone calls most of the time now. While it is true that my current land line does not indicate that a message is waiting, I check to see if I recognize the telephone number before I answer.

Unfortunately, the person(s) I am trying to avoid and do not want to tell outright what I feel still manage to occasionally reach me, much to their surprise and my dismay.

While ‘private caller’ messages are easiest to avoid, you may miss a call from your Doctor and they will not usually leave a message giving you an appointment time (without speaking to you directly). So sometimes you pick up these calls and find out it is someone you keep hoping will never call you again, but here they are live and in person. Oh great!

Then again, you are expecting a call from your nephew who wants you to email him so he can reply, or usually not reply, for a long time. Suddenly it is evening on a holiday and a number that looks like it might be his or your brother who lives out of town is showing on your phone as a call waiting. You drop the person you are speaking to so that you don’t miss this rare call from your brother or nephew. You answer, after all you have been waiting to hear from them for a while. Nope, it’s the guy you normally avoid by screening your calls. Oh goodie!

Adding insult to injury, he has decided to tell you that he has just had a drink of one of your favourite wines – Chateau La Tour Carnet. Do you remember he says that you told me it has only a small production in Bordeaux etc. etc.? He adds, It was pretty good. NEWSFLASH - THANK YOU – I KNOW, and I can’t afford to buy it right now. Nice to know you are enjoying yourself and BY THE WAY, WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME AGAIN?  Whoopee Happy Thanksgiving. NOT.

Yes, I am so glad that you liked me, enough to waste a lot of my time and hang around my place nonstop until I finally (in desperation) moved to a place too small for you to park yourself ever again. So glad your life changed for the better because I got you to finally see a specialist about the constant pain your athletic and work related demands made on your legs. How nice that you now run a couple of miles every morning. YOU'RE WELCOME…GO AWAY.

So, finally I ask the one question that I should have asked, WHY WERE WE EVER TOGETHER? You liked me! And what? I guess that was reason enough for you and me to waste a very long time together. What I should have been saying however was: DO YOU CARE THAT I DESPISE YOU? DO YOU CARE THAT I WISH YOU WOULD GO AWAY FOREVER, so that I never have to tell you myself? Guess not.

What I should have said, quite a lot and yet quite a lot less. GOODBYE would have been good. HAVE A NICE LIFE – Somewhere else far away from me - would have been good. GO AWAY FOREVER would have been excellent. NEVER CALL ME AGAIN would have been best of all.

Karma is a witch sometimes. Too bad I believe what goes around comes around and that every person deserves consideration and respect. Too bad you don’t feel the same way and use the knowledge of how I feel against me.

Until next time, Happy Thanksgiving – I think not. Maybe Happy Hallowe’en and I get the Trick and not the Treat.

Guess what? NO ONE TO BLAME BUT MYSELF…AGAIN. As I said on October 1^st, UNFINISHED BUSINESS STALKS YOU. 

Voila, welcome to the Thanksgiving Day instalment on October 13^th. 

Until next time…because I still haven’t dealt with this properly. As I said before UNFINISHED BUSINESS STALKS YOU…and guess what YOU/I have no one to blame but ourselves.