KNOWING WHEN TO MOVE ON

Almost worse than a bad relationship itself is the length of time the recovery takes. This however, is the price of Compromise. This is the real cost of letting a situation that is not right for you to continue in your life. 

Whether we let something continue because we are afraid of being alone or whether we try to not hurt someone else's feelings, we merely postpone the inevitable end of a relationship.

Whether it is two days or two years, when you know something will not work out, letting it drag on doesn't help either of you to move on to someone either of you is better suited to. Better than being alone? NO, it's not! 

By the time there is nothing left but recriminations and resentment, there is no point in discussing what you feel, or think about why it didn't work out. For me, there was nothing left to say except "Try and be a better human being", as if he cared.  

Mostly however, there is only anger at yourself because no one else is to blame for letting the situation drag on long past it's stale date.  

Meanwhile, how can you expect to meet someone more suitable when your time and energy are still devoted to a person, who will never be able to give you what you either want, or need, to be happy?

What sort of person would accept you when you are not available for a relationship? 

Might anyone new actually want to hang around you while you breakup, rebound and resolve your issues?

A Compromise is far too expensive emotionally, and at the very least, delays any possibility of happiness with someone better, for either of you. 

Do yourself, and the other person a favour. Wish each other 'Better Luck Next Time' and move on as soon as you know.



NOTE: KISS YOUR EX GOODBYE - FRIENDS I THINK NOT (May 2013) and GOODBYE AGAIN - FOREVER I HOPE (August 2013).
Both of these essays were also about past relationships & discussing the tsunami effects of a toxic relationship.