Every day is a new chance to have a great life. You would miss so much that you are supposed to learn in life if you do not let it play out. For example, I finally, met the love of my life when I was 35 years old. I had many good things and bad occur in my life before that, but not someone 100% for me.
Other people around me, including friends and most of my younger siblings had earlier marriages, and some were very happy, but not me. I was happy, but not totally, because without someone of my own, I always felt something was missing.
One day, the unbelievable happened. I still think of it as a miracle. On a day, like any other, I was to meet someone after work that an acquaintance at work suggested I meet. She said he likes to read books too. That was about it by way of introduction.
I went to meet him, with what else, a large book, so that I could get some reading done, in case the situation was a dead end and left me sitting by myself and heading home by Streetcar a little while later. At least, I wouldn't miss out on my reading, I thought.
We met, he seemed a nice man, we talked and ended up having dinner together. The second time we met, we were with friends (the woman who suggested we meet and her boyfriend) and they had been drinking all day. We did not meet again for a month or more after that evening as I figured I was wasting my time with people I had nothing in common with.
Finally, about a month later, Peter and I met for dinner again. By the next date, he said he loved me and I knew I loved him.
We had almost 20 years of 24 hour days together, with only 51 days apart, little conflict, a lot of Good Will toward each other, and most importantly, a lot of Love.
My husband died of a chronic disease, after so many years of happiness. As he put it, 'We didn't have a long time, but we had a good time'. I miss his strength, support and encouragement every day. On the 24th of August, it will be 8 years since I became a Widow.
The important thing is not that it ended. The important thing was, to go and meet and give this person a chance to not be a continuation of an unsuccessful past, but instead to be the start of a very happy future. We took a chance and had a happy Marriage.
After my husband died, I wanted very much to see where he grew up, went to school and lived during his childhood and until he emigrated in his early 20's to Canada from England.
To do this, I had again to take, what for me was, a big chance. I had to fly in an airplane for the first time in 20 years. I knew there was only one way to get there. With great fear I knew I had either to go or give up. I took the flight.
My life was transformed, and incredibly, I had happiness again. I wrote about this part of my experience of trying to return to living my own life as a Widow in my essay THE BUCKET LIST - KEEPING HOPE ALIVE.
What would I have missed, if I had stayed the same person I was when I was growing up as a generally unhappy teenager all my life? What would my life have been like, reliving those not wonderful years of, for example, that period of adolescence over and over again, until today?
What if, I decided that, like a star athlete in High School or College, that nothing was ever going to be as good in my life again as those fantastic years I had experienced in University.
As I mentioned above, imagine a 35 year old still reliving past glories of her early 20's, never having moved on to other experiences, even though a lot of time had passed.
If any of us lock ourselves into a specific period of time and refuse to go forward into the new day, week, month or year; we are in danger of stagnating and going no further. In the same way you can tell how old some women and men are, by their old hairstyle and dress, there is also an old mindset in that place along with the old ideas...and reminiscing about the past.
I see every day as full of possibilities, and a miracle possible around every corner. You need to be there to see it though. Make yourself present and open to the possibilities of each day you live. To do that, you have to make a move out of the idealized past, take a few steps out of your comfort zone perhaps, and peek around the corner.
Who knows, maybe you too will find a whole new set of experiences awaiting you, all because you poked your nose out of the door...as a new day dawned.
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If you
have time, read some of my other essays. Feel free to comment and as I ask in
one of them –
TELL ME
ABOUT YOURSELF SOMETIME TOO and also WHO ARE YOU – I REALLY WANT TO KNOW. They are at: gettingitright-meb.blogspot.ca/
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