LET IT GO

In myself and others I have noticed that much of our emotions are expended on talking about something in the past that did not work out the way we had hoped. Whether it was a job or a relationship, the speaker's disappointment is almost palpable. Their face shows anger or upset, few smiles on this subject, that's for sure. The time past since the disappointment also is almost irrelevant. Just a few words and we are speaking of the event as though it happened yesterday.

Sadly, too many of us, have to make an effort to remind ourselves that we are talking about a past event. Most, if not all of the people involved, are usually no longer in our lives, and actually we have done many other things since the troubling event. In fact, sometimes we often become far more successful in work, and in our relationships, than we would have been had we continued what we wanted before, rather than what we actually ended up doing.

Why then do we still talk about the past event as if it just happened? Why do we feel the pain and frustration as if if were happening to us as we speak? I think it is because the critical event effected us deeply and profoundly and in fact, changed the course of our lives since that time.

What however, is this event from the past doing to our present life? Well, for one thing, we are, whether we realize it or not, reliving and experiencing some of the tension and emotions that the situation evoked in us before. Sadly, bringing it up again puts us back into the past, causes us to relive the situation, refreshes the memories of it and unfortunately gets us carrying it around, sometimes for days afterwards.

What can we do, we tell ourselves we were sad and hurt and angry...and guess what here we are again, months, sometimes years later, sad and hurt and angry. Meanwhile this past event, which has no place in our life today, might as well have happened today.

You are in a different place now, but unless you determine to reflect on the past and put it away, it will keep coming up, sometimes for years after the event.

Only by reflecting upon it, can we face up to the impact it had upon our lives. After we acknowledge this however, we need to look at our lives today, particularly about how much we have changed and grown since. We might also realize just how much more living and learning we have done.

Beyond this, appreciating what we have accomplished, what pitfalls we avoided after that painful event and all of the good we have in our lives now, will remind us that that event was in the past, and actually is without any current power or ability to effect us now, unless we choose to carry it around with us.

Let it go and you can finally let yourself be happy. You have the power to do this. When you acknowledge how far from the past you have moved, what you have learned, how you feel today and realize with relief and gratitude that this thing from your past, is just that, a thing from your past. Be grateful you have moved on and be happier for having put it away, realizing it is ancient history and you simply don't live there anymore.