Earlier this week I had two posts that made me think; and reply immediately. The first was a quote: Ask for nothing, and you will get everything. The second was: Show only your good side to someone, if you want your relationship to last.
Both of these seemed wrong to me on so many levels that I had to reply to each of the writers right away.
Let's look at Ask for nothing, and you will get everything. I didn't agree at all. Ask for nothing, and nothing is likely what you will get.
Who are you hoping will give you everything when you ask for nothing - a fortune teller, a psychic?. It has to be a 'mind reader' of some sort, because you are asking for nothing but they are going to give you everything.
I wonder what everything you will get. Maybe anything someone doesn't need. Maybe they like to play charades with life, and they will keep giving you things until you show some interest or disinterest and they can mind read something better.
More likely the result of this philosophy is that you may be given things regardless of whether you asked for anything or not, after all some things do come even to those who sit and wait. You therefore, may end up with a lot of 'stuff'; but whether any of it is what you want, need or can use, is doubtful.
The problem is not that you have been wise and not asked for anything, because you believe that all will be provided to the pure of heart, I understand the concept but ask you then why we were also given a brain and the power of speech.
On the other hand, if you did not ask for anything because you don't know what you want, you risk getting a lot of things you don't need, want or can use. Save yourself and everyone else, the energy, time and money and let them know who you are, what you want and I suspect you will all be happier.
The second person felt you should only show your 'good' side to someone, if you wanted to keep a relationship going. Your good side may be quite nice, but then again, your good side is not all of you. What happens if one day you slip up and the 'bad side' slips out? Is it possible that one of us is so bad that the end would be immediate?
I told this girl that I thought being who you are is ultimately better. There is, I believe someone for everyone. There are people who will find the unique combination of things that make you who you are, absolutely perfect. These are the people you want and need as friends, lovers, partners and everything else you want or need in life.
People who like and accept you as you are will be the best people to have around you. They are the people who saw you as you are, liked what they saw and stayed around. They are the keepers...and so are you because you have put the real you out there and found someone who thinks that is just great.
See also: FRIENDSHIP - I LIKE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE
and today's essay ACCEPTANCE - I LIKE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.
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