Most reasonably healthy people do not consider
themselves to be contestants for the world record as the ugliest, stupidest,
most insecure, most needy or most depressed. Why then do we find so much wrong
with us and why do we spend so much time pointing out our imagined weaknesses
and shortcomings to others?
I sometimes think that the only person that notices
that cold sore we feel is coming up on our lips or that every single thing
about us isn’t perfect, is us and our strangely negative perception of ourselves.
It’s not that we lack confidence but that somewhere
along the way, we seem to have made a list of either what we might improve or
started to evaluate ourselves on some impossible standard of perfection.
Let's face it, using this method, any of us can easily find someone more
beautiful, richer, more talented, smarter, more successful etc. etc. etc.
Depending on what bothers us personally, the list might get pretty long.
To see ourselves as others see us, there’s something a
bit harder to do. Maybe we really should relearn how to count our blessings
beginning with thanks for the many people each of us knows who love and care
about us.
I think reminding ourselves of this, and all that we do
have, instead of waging a daily battle against ourselves about what someone else
may have that we don’t, is a good way to stop senselessly sabotaging yourself
over and over again.
Few of us will suddenly turn this around and go to the
other extreme of becoming flagrant narcissists. I am positive however, that most of us
could be a lot happier if we let up on what’s wrong and refocus instead on the
many more things that actually are right.
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