I personally will probably always love the concept of the Family as a mainstay of society. Until recently I was very encouraged that even in 1999, 79% of 12-14 year old Children admired their parents most, with athletes a distant second at 13%.*
Changes in our society however, may be effecting the Parent/Child relationship from being one of healthy role models for growing Children to emulate to creating tragic lifelong dependencies of Children upon their Parents. This may also portend serious consequences ahead for the society that has permitted and encouraged this.
Historically, you were treated as a grown up Adult at a much younger age. Shorter lifespans may perhaps have necessitated earlier Marriages and Adult responsibilities. Throughout history, people were considered by be grown up once they had experienced Puberty or certainly not long after.
The word 'Teenager', is a term which appeared in a magazine article for the first time in 1939. This makes Teenagers a creation of the 20th century. Subsequently, in 1970, a group of Pediatricians formed the Society for Adolescent Medicine and declared that adolescence ended at twenty-six. However, by 1978 they had decided it lasted eight years longer and therefore actually it ended at 34 years of age.
Marcel Danesi says that in 2000, the U.S. census found that 4 million people between twenty-five and thirty-four were living with their parents. He also tells us that the average age of marriage in the U.S. is twenty-six up from 22 years old in 1970 and that child-bearing has been postponed into the mid-thirties.
It hardly matters whether these Adult Children ever left the family home, or whether they returned to it after completing their education elsewhere. Returning (to the parental) home today usually means that Adult Children are asking for (or possibly even demanding) indefinite use of the family home, provided by and paid for by the parents, as well as, financial support, often well into middle age.
This is such a widespread phenomenon that many countries already have a disparaging name for ADULT CHILDREN who are still dependent on their parents. For example, in Italy it is the Bamboccioni ('Big Baby'), in Japan they are called, Parasaito Shinguru (Parasite Singles), in Germany Nesthockers, in Britain Kippers (Kids in Parents' Pockets Eroding Retirement Savings). I read that in Canada, by 2006, 31% of men aged 25 to 29 were still sleeping in their childhood bedroom each night.**
With American and European Union courts backing claims such as those of a 34 year old Lawyer for parental support and a daughter in her 8th undergraduate year for a financial allowance; prolonged dependency by young adults who will not be either confident, self sufficient or mature, is almost guaranteed.
I believe that eventually, we will need to address the consequences of perpetuating children's dependent behaviour and not encouraging and insisting that young adults assume their place in society as a rite of passage, when they should.
The law of unintended consequences could be very harsh indeed when those who were unwilling to be adults, become unable to do so. Like it or not, none of us is going to live forever. Leaving behind a lot of dependent men and women, would be tragic.
Eventually, the Government may need to assume the role (and expenses) of a lifelong 'Parent' to people unable to support themselves after the biological parents of these 'Children' have died.
In essence, however, what the 'Children' are really missing is enjoying the benefits of living a fulfilling, productive, self sufficient and meaningful life.
*Marcel Danesi in his book Forever Young - the 'Teen-aging' of Modern Culture.
**Mark Steyn - After America, p. 112-114
See also blog of 2012 "ADULT CHILDREN"
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