BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO

It’s true that breaking up with someone you’ve had a relationship with is hard to do. It sometimes feels like there is probably enough pain and sorrow to last us all a lifetime. Mercifully, although occasionally it does last a lifetime, usually it does not.

Yesterday someone told me that they were trying again to permanently end a 3 year relationship. She also said that some young guys in our building were also suffering recent break ups.

I can’t say I’m surprised. In fact, I suspect these days there are probably more people than ever walking around with heartache and sorrow about recently broken relationships. 

In general, I think that probably most people no longer hang around to work on a relationship, even when it might have worked out; they seem instead to push off and go on to the next one instead.

However, experience teaches us that healing emotionally takes longer than just physically leaving a relationship. In fact, when a breakup is fresh, it is hard to believe we will ever feel better and that one day it will all vaguely be part of your past; but it is true. 

Time really does heal all wounds and wounds all heels, but not for a while.  

I found it personally interesting a week or so ago when I spotted someone from a few years ago. He did not see me and we did not talk as I was going by in a bus. I briefly remembered thinking about how long it took for me to get on with my life because I took a long time to say goodbye for good and not let him come back into my life over and over again with occasional phone calls.

  

Seeing him again, after all this time, I thought, he looks tidy and neat. He is wearing a nice pair of sunglasses. I wondered what he is doing in my area, last I heard he was running a business out of town? Finally, and perhaps significantly, I wondered who he might be sponging off now. Very different observations from those I would have made while we were involved.

Nevertheless, each of us in our own time eventually is able to take our own advice and practice what we preach. We finally, if belatedly, do KISS YOUR EX GOODBYE – AND – tell them not to call again. Shortly after you realize you can begin to move forward again.

Long ago I wrote an essay: KISS YOUR EX GOODBYE – FRIENDS I THINK NOT. Like most people perhaps, it just took a while for me to take my own advice and get my life back.