HAVE A LITTLE FAITH - IN YOURSELF

You may have read, even if only recently in my essay THE BUCKET LIST REVISITED that I felt it was all too easy to create a Shrine to the past and actually believe that my life was over. 

Instead, I took a bit of a leap over my fears, especially a 20 year old fear of flying, and discovered that there was a lot more in life for me to see and do.

I have to admit that I probably still spend more time alone than I do with other people, just as I did before I met my husband. I don't know if that's good or bad. I know however, that it works out well for me most of the time. 

However, even when I was happily married for all those years, I understood that one of the reasons we got along so well was that neither of us expected the other person to fulfil all of their needs. Some of our interests were strictly our own. 

Early on for example, I realized that my husband actually 'hated' shopping of any sort, excepting perhaps for groceries.

It did not take me long to learn that when I took/dragged him along with me on a shopping excursion, I was about to have a pretty awful time. 

Similarly, sharing his long standing interest in traditional jazz, although enjoyable for me as a an audience member at a live performance in a club occasionally; did not extend to a deeply consuming or scholarly interest in the subject.

It has often been said that one door closes and another one opens. I think this is probably true.

If you think of all of the unexpected surprises that change brings into our lives, you soon realize that predicting the future is pretty hard to do.

So often what happens in life actually exceeds our expectations...if we let it.

In my case, had you told me that I would, one year after being Widowed, be walking around Buckingham Palace, the Yacht Britannia, Windsor Castle, Versailles or drinking Champagne in France, I would have thought you were insane. At best, I would have said, yep, in my dreams maybe.

I may be lucky in that, most of what I have in life did not come easily. I had to work for everything I ever got, including passing grades in Math and French in High School; BUT, when you persevere, you eventually speak French in France and do not make too many people roll on the ground laughing.

I was also lucky perhaps that I never expected to be perfect. In fact, some of my relatives seemed to amuse themselves belittling my immediate family. 

I learned that ignoring such minor aggravations in life as these, and thinking for yourself, are life lessons that you can take with you wherever you go.

Not only is self esteem portable, and almost weightless to take with you on life's journey; but it comes in handy when you want to make some plans for your life.

In the last few years, I've come to realize that no one else, i.e., younger relatives, wants to be given ‘free advice’, any more than I did at their age.

I also realize that the kind of education kids today may need in the future may be far different from that which my fellow Boomers and I needed.

Knowing how to move forward and learning what people and things contribute to your happiness, makes life brighter, and the possibility of a sunnier future, more likely. That's why I suggest that each of us try and HAVE A LITTLE FAITH - IN OURSELVES.