YOUR ANGER PUNISHES YOU

"Anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger."

--Siddhartha Gautama, the Buddha

I first saw this quote on one of my blog sites and was fascinated by it. The other day I was thinking about how unreasonable Envy is. Pride is another of the deadly sins and I have often seen the trouble it causes in families, often even between parents and their children, and other people who might have stayed close to you had you not let Pride take over.

Anger however, is diabolical and the most direct way to harm yourself. The quote, of course is a bit humorous, but expressing anger is actually exercising yourself into a frenzy and exploding outward with a lot of the bad energy you have accumulated in order to try and demonstrate to someone else how much they have annoyed you.

When you are angry you say some of the stupidest and also most unforgivable things to other people. A rant can be amusing but most people are not just doing a cathartic little bit of drama, they take their anger and go right for the jugular. There is nothing delicate and careful about an explosion of anger.

I often wonder if the brain is overheated, like the cartoons where steam is coming out of the top of the persons head. The mouth is flapping and usually saying a lot of terrible things.

The closer the person is to you, the greater your capacity to hurt them with your first volley. Since you are out of control, you keep on firing until you have seriously wounded your victim.

Ultimately though, the victim twice over is you. First because you have felt hurt. Then by expressing all of your anger and venom, you upset yourself and everyone else around you, sometimes forever.

Instead of trying to rectify a situation, give the other person a chance to explain (in case something was misunderstood), you build up ‘steam’ and normally carry on to anyone who will listen.

The catalogue of the other persons shortcomings is usually long and detailed. It often consists of even tiny details, that were you feeling friendly might be endearing.

When angry however, every small thing you can think of is used as a sort of mortar to cement the bricks you are piling up for the wall you are building up inside yourself against the other person.

Ultimately, you will make sure that either someone else, or you directly will make contact with the person you are angry at. If it is you, an explosion is sure to follow.

Whoever said ‘be sure your brain is in gear, before putting your mouth into action’, must have been in or seen someone letting their anger get the better of them.

I think by this time, the brain is turned off and only the bile is percolating to the surface. Common Sense and Reason will not prevail.

There is not much chance that cooler heads will succeed in calming you down enough to get you to be reasonable, so the situation has usually escalated to an explosive level.

The explosion is often a big one, and damage, sometimes irreparable, is often done. After the dust settles almost all that is usually left is a destroyed relationship, often a friendship.

Yes, maybe it took two to create the situation but actually once a fuse is lit by either one and a confrontation ensues, either one or both of you are going on the defensive and you may not be able ever to return to where you were before all of this started.

If only we could see the end result of two unhappy former friends when all this starts and shut it down early on, how much better it might have been.

Yes, we are only human, and sometimes humans make a big mess of things, which can’t be fixed or ever made whole again.