DANCING WITH MYSELF*

I once saw a movie where the Man and Woman agreed to disagree. Obviously a work of Fiction. The chances of this happening in ‘real life’ are slim to none. This is a fact of Nature, Biology, Sociology, Heredity and Genetics.

I did hear a live Woman use the phrase in front of me once, but I thought she was joking. I have never met a Woman who would not try to have the last word in an argument…ever.

The Male of the species on the other hand whether 6 or 96 still thinks himself attractive, a regular powerhouse and dynamo. Every Woman he winks (or leers) at is dying to shower him with affection, to serve his every need and immediately come into his home to feed him, do his laundry and generally be available to meet his every whim.

Real life is much more interesting when it is given a healthy dose of fantasy and imagination. Sometimes however, the Man and Woman both have o realize their limitations and be realistic.

The Woman, even today, can not be fighting every Male she meets because once upon a time, some guy did not fall at her feet. Nor can she realistically expect to never interact with someone of the opposite sex, even if she is extremely timid or angry. I wouldn't want to...BUT...what do I know?

The Male cannot expect that someone working full time is going to be able to work two full time jobs, the second one being, making herself a ‘Domestic Goddess’.

I am fascinated by the dynamics among Couples today. Without warning a Couple seems to have broken up. Without warning a Couple seems to have gotten together. Sometimes it is the same Couple breaking apart and coming together again.

Somewhere along the way, not only did I not know what Friends With Benefits was but also that Women thought Friends with Benefits was a good idea. One Woman told me it saved her time because she was busy, busy, busy. I also became disabled when it came to understand the modern Male. 

I haven’t the slightest idea whether someone is interested in me or not. An (until now) unspoken fear of mine is that I might misread the signals and look a fool. Which is actually the only thing that ever could embarrass me.  

I think perhaps I was a Wife, and/or a Friend to happily married couples for too long to ever interpret any Male speaking to me as more than courtesy and good manners. Kisses on the cheek are how the whole group I am part of greet each other. Also whether it was a male or a female, a handshake in greeting when meeting or departing has long been normal for me.

I guess what it comes down to is that it is time to re watch my DVD of the Mating Habits of the Earthbound Male and try and figure out whether I can ever understand what people do to get together these days.

Maybe I should finally read my book on Flirting (in my bookcase for about 3 years now), throw out all of my clothes (suggestion by my youngest brother) and watch how slutty, provocative, and conversations full of innuendo are just great according to today’s movies. I don’t think however, such films as He’s Just Not That Into You will make me feel any better than it did the first time I saw it a few years ago.

Maybe it’s just NOT LIKELY that I will be a ‘Partner’ (in today’s lexicon) again. Some Widows never are. Either they/we can’t see anyone with the comparable character and qualities we were used to, or sometimes we feel that we understand too well, the black clad old Ladies who seem to take their mourning as a sort of Occupation to live by for the rest of their lives.

In earlier generations, when a Woman was so much younger than her Husband that she survived him, she was either expected to throw herself upon the funeral pyre (India) or remarry either a member of his family or someone else who would look after her and protect her.

I don’t think the past options or the other one of going to a Convent (Nunnery) would work for me either. Chances are, I will be Dancing With Myself*.

What’s a girl to do? Perhaps crack open the Flirting Book, throw out the Wife-like wardrobe, buy some Lingerie and generally feel better as a more feminine Woman again.

Who knows maybe Lightning will strike and make the world of Men and Women comprehensible again. NOT LIKELY but, hopefully not impossible either. 

song* Dancing with Myself - Billy Idol and Tony James 1980