CRASH AND BURN

After writing two movie reviews in a couple of days, I have decided to write about something else before you start to think that I am taking up film reviewing.

Having said that, I am and have always been a big fan of action and adventure movies. My late husband used to ask whether the film would have car chases and explosions and I would answer, “I sure hope so”. One other woman friend and I would get a pile of these and watch them consecutively when the Men were having a Jazz record marathon.

Therefore, when I saw Expendables 3 was coming just before my birthday I was delighted, since I already had seen Expendables 1 and 2 and had my DVD copies. Ditto for as many ‘Fast and Furious’ as Hollywood cares to crank out.

When Paul Walker died I was greatly saddened and probably will always admire the character he played because a Man who is a Man is more interesting to me than one who carries his Wife’s handbag and can’t take off the leash himself.

Unfortunately, in North America these days the Men seem to be either timorous ‘Yes Men’ afraid to say boo to their domineering Women and go around saying ‘Happy Wife, Happy Life’ to explain their willingness to accept their Wives dominating Bitchiness.

The flip side is the Man as a bitter person who feels the legal system has made it possible to eviscerate and impoverish him, even though he tried to do the right thing. Most of them only wanted to have a Family of their own, that is, someone to love and care for them.

The more people I talk to, the more I realize that too many of us these days, including me, are among the walking wounded. It’s not that we have crazy nostalgia for some golden period in our past, we know after all what year it is and that time is passing. Tempus fugit:Time Flies. It sure does.

It is that as optimistic and appreciative as we try to be about our lives and the fact that we long ago exceeded our expectations, something is just not there.

Someone recently said to me that everyone should have a Partner. I couldn’t agree more.

So when I was passing through Geneva, I spoke to a lovely Portuguese girl with a small child who says a husband is a work in progress. I go out among my friends and they are often second marriages of long duration and as usual as a Widow I am the odd (Wo)man out.

I see most Men as buddies because I do not see them as possible partners. At least, I give them equal time and treat them fairly and politely but always at arms length because I don’t know any other way any longer.

Unfortunately, the present cast of characters in and around me are usually in the same boat. Birds of a feather sticking together perhaps.

I was deeply saddened several months ago, when one of my closest friends said she did not and never would come first in her second husband’s life. I had to wonder whether this is what divorce brings?

Relationships have almost taken on the same form as contracts for work do. We will get together for a period of time (unspecified) and terminate/split when it doesn’t feel good any more.

In my immediate family, there were 6 marriages. Of these, there was one divorce and one Widowhood. In the previous generation there was also only one very abusive relationship that mercifully ended in Divorce and not Homicide. 

Hiding your divorce from your elderly parents is a new one that is being played out by two of my relatives. Maybe this is what we have in the Millennium.

I am happy that people still get married. I question the Royal Wedding tenor of the television nuptials and hope that too many people do not follow their wildly extravagant example because it must leave a heavy thud when reality intrudes.

Meanwhile, Paul Walker, wherever you are, I hope Hollywood makes more movies with nice guys who are decent and just trying to have a life and that real life, makes more Women who understand Men better and want the valuable interaction which the male and female provide for each other.