ANNIVERSARIES

Yesterday was the 9^th Anniversary of my beloved husband’s death. I have done a variety of things over the years to commemorate his passing. Usually I make a point of not going out with anyone else as it seems difficult to pay attention to them when my mind is so obviously elsewhere.

The First Anniversary was, as I feared it might be, a disaster. It was made worse because I met a relative who wanted to celebrate my Birthday (from the week before) on the same day. 

As usual, when you do not follow your instincts you could have, and I should have, predicted disaster. I was especially angry with myself because I felt a celebration was a desecration of my husband’s memory. It took me a long time to forgive myself for making this disaster possible and inevitable.

On the Fifth Anniversary, I took his ashes ‘HOME’ to where he grew up and spent a most happy Childhood and Adolescence. It was the right thing to do. I knew then and I know now that it was the right thing, despite that, his remains are so many miles away from me geographically.

Yesterday I spent the day with a good Friend. She is also Widowed – 2 years before me. She and her Husband knew my Husband long before I met him. I always know she understands me because of this personal connection with him. Even more than another Widow, I am grateful that she and I can reflect and remember together when we need to. Beyond this I have the gift of someone who understands perfectly what we have missing from our lives with these losses we share.

When you have a Miracle in your life, be grateful while you can and appreciate it. When it has to end, remember and be consoled. Love is the greatest gift. Some never have it. When you did and when you do, understand that it is irreplaceable. Cherish it, treasure it and remember the wonder of it and be grateful for the priceless gift you were given in your life.*

*A much happier Anniversary yesterday also was that of my youngest Sister and her Husband. They and their two lovely children get to celebrate the new Family they formed after both of our Parents were deceased. The miracle endures and I celebrate with them and they understand my own Anniversary is a different passage that we as a Family share.