APPEARANCES CAN BE DECEIVING - 2

Over the years I have spoken about The Blanket Man. Since I am one of the first people to think we should not judge someone by their appearance, I once again need to remind myself to take my own advice.

Never mind that we only get seconds to get a first impression about someone, the fact remains that every one of us has a story to tell about themselves and your first glance, based on your personal filters, is probably not enough to tell you all you need to know.

What I am saying is that, by now, I should know better than to make quick judgements, especially about how someone looks to me, but I don’t.

Last month, a McDonald’s conversation with two men at the next table, told me things about some of the local street people, among them a person I have called The Blanket Man. Like every other opinion we have, what I heard was, as it so often is, just another small piece of the puzzle.

Trying to mind my own business, I was reading a book on Boomers (by Tom Brokaw) and have something to eat. We have a local diner style restaurant and from time to time, I go in and have something to eat, either by myself or with a friend.

Suddenly I notice The Blanket Man standing at the door. The Waitress gives him a package and he leaves. She tells me that she has known him for 15 years. He always calls her honey or baby (I forget which) and he only wants her to give him Sausages. He goes next door for Sushi. He goes down the block for a drink. If he gets the wrong drink or not what he wants, he might ask her for something else.

He will not take money, he does not want your warm coat. He will tell you that you need both, more than he does. Nevertheless on a cold day, you will still see him with blankets over his shoulder standing in a subway doorway shivering and wet. I am always shocked when I see him so bedraggled. I am dismayed but nervous about speaking to him.

I am now told that, in an earlier time in his life, he was a lawyer. The waitress told me that a customer said that the man I call The Blanket Man, was a lawyer and a partner of his.

One day he was driving a car with his wife and two children and was in an accident on a slippery road. His family was killed. 

What can I say? What can anyone say except, we need to remind ourselves that his life and our own have a story to tell.

We might remind ourselves that the only life story we know, even a little about, is our own. Even our own story is still a work in progress and things can change in a heartbeat.

Perhaps the next time, I start to dismiss someone, I might remember this. I know I should. Whether I will or not is another story.

I write this to remind myself, and you that maybe we all should slow down a bit and take a second look before we pass over someone next to us, without a word being said to give us enough information to make more than a totally superficial judgement.*

 

*See also October 7, 2015 and earlier THE BLANKET MAN