THE MORNING AFTER

I thought I had enough sleep last night, but maybe not. The reason I think this is that I find myself thinking about how life’s best decisions are probably not made when we haven’t had enough sleep.

I am thinking about NIGHT-OWL’S, the ALL-NIGHTER but especially about THE MORNING AFTER.

I have to belatedly concede and accept that the ALL-NIGHTER is probably not conducive or effective either to reasonable communication or problem solving.

It almost doesn’t matter whether you are up all night cramming for final exams, reading, writing, partying or texting your many friends, at home or around the world in other time zones. You can’t and won’t be operating at your optimum capacity, whatever you think.

We all know that it leaves you with ‘bags’ under your eyes and looking tired. However, the most long lasting effect is likely a lot of new Baggage which might be considered the modern take on ‘THE MORNING AFTER’.

Earlier today I was thinking about how years ago I saved a friend from really horrible humiliation by convincing her to put the really self-abasing letter, she felt she HAD TO WRITE into a drawer for the weekend before even considering sending it. 

In those days (yes some of us are still around to remember them) the Post Office (and Banks also) didn’t work on weekends. You may not believe it, but ATM’s were not invented yet either. Imagine!

Anyway, since nothing was going anywhere till after the weekend, I convinced her to reread this awful thing and then send it, if she still really needed to, after she had time to reread and rethink it. Not congratulating myself too much, but a time came, years later when she told me that, thankfully, it had never been sent. Some of us are not so lucky.

As I mentioned earlier today, the days without service, unfortunately are gone. Today we are able to communicate 24/7. I say unfortunately because I can only imagine some of the stuff being said, and sent, in the middle of the night. Since I am often awake, I know whereof I speak. You probably do too.

THE MORNING AFTER takes on a whole new meaning when you hazily remember (and unfortunately have proof) that last night you thought it was a really good idea to TELL EVERYONE YOU KNOW…WHAT YOU REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT THEM. You also had to tell everyone you knew where you were at 4 a.m. and ‘share’ what you were doing. Too bad! Too late now!

I guess you can hope that they get so many messages that they have to delete them unread…OR ELSE, you are probably in big trouble with some, or maybe all, of your Mailing List…or whoever is left that will ever bother to speak to you again. After all, they and YouTube have your ‘Selfies’ to prove it.

Welcome to the convenience of today’s world. Too bad we can engage our fingers and devices BEFORE we can engage our Brains. But there you have it.

I’d suggest each of us learn what we are capable of while we are still young enough to not doing anything we might regret for the rest of our lives.

  

Once you know your limitations, you may have a better idea of what you might do to yourself, or others, when you are temporarily insane from sleep deprivation or artificially buoyed up and ready to take on the world.

You might begin by treating anything you use to communicate your inspirations as you would a loaded Gun. It is almost as bad. In fact, in some ways it might be worse because you will probably still be alive in the morning to face the consequences. 

It isn’t your imagination. The 'Whole World' actually does have your words and photos in front of them in their face.

I won’t say KNOCK YOURSELF OUT because you already might have. Just take a minute to figure out how you might actually put the brakes on THE REAL ME next time. Remembering the inevitable pain of the MORNING AFTER just might help a bit.

WHY DON'T YOU SLEEP ON IT?

Some people say that there really isn’t anything like a good night’s sleep to put things into perspective. They may have a point. However, like everyone else, I expect that an occasional sleepless night is probably inevitable.

I call the preoccupations that trouble us in the middle of the night, ‘three o’clock in the morning’. This is the time in the middle of the night when sleep has eluded us, but whatever is bothering us continues to keep us awake. No wonder we can’t sleep, when our thoughts are racing around and around and around.

Strangely, usually one of two things happen when you lose sleep over something that was bothering you. You either get so tired that you stop caring about it, or you finally get such a deep sleep, that the problem no longer has the power to disturb, depress or weigh you down.

I wouldn’t be surprised if doctors who suggest taking two aspirin and giving them a call in the morning, get fewer call backs than do those ready to see their patient’s anytime they ask to see the doctor.

In fact, sometimes I wonder whether many, if not most, of our problems would go away more easily if we just ignored them for a couple of days. 

In the days of ‘snail mail’ I am happy to have once saved a friend serious humiliation by convincing her to delay mailing her self-abasing letter until the postal service resumed on Monday morning.

Unfortunately, today we can share our ideas and reactions 24/7. I suspect that there must be some wild retractions and face-saving going on pretty regularly these days ‘The Morning After’.

I may suggest that we delay quick action and reaction to a problem, especially anything involving the phrase, ‘that’s it, I’ve had enough’. 

I doubt however, that many of us, when faced with something really worrying, can do this. In fact, it seems actually to go against every natural instinct we have to expect us to suddenly be patient and calm at a time when we feel ready to explode.

More likely instead, most of us probably feel a compelling and consuming need to deal with whatever problems we have head on. Unfortunately this sometimes means we want/need to talk them out either with some long suffering friend, or sometimes even with anyone in hearing range.

We somehow convince ourselves that doing something is better than doing nothing. Maybe not. In fact, sometimes I think that telling myself, ‘When in doubt, do nothing’, is the best solution to a troubling problem.

I am convinced that there are times when doing nothing may actually be a better choice, than acting rashly and hastily, in some usually misbegotten attempt to immediately resolve an issue.

Experience has also shown me that ‘All Nighters’ aren’t likely to find most of us making our best decisions or solving important problems well.

If only we could pretend that today’s woes are long resolved and behind us and were somehow able to miraculously skip the stress that usually lies ahead, life would be so much simpler.

Maybe we can’t do that, but maybe we can see that, whoever thought up the saying ‘this too shall pass’ probably knew that few problems look the same the next day.

  

One way I have found, to sometimes help myself when something is worrying me into exhaustion, is to try and completely stop whatever I am doing, and concentrate as hard as I can to remember whatever was bothering me on the same day last year. I usually can’t and I doubt most of us could. 

One thing is almost certain, a year from today something else is probably going to be keeping me/us awake at night. 

Like everyone else, I now accept that an occasional sleepless night is inevitable. I guess it’s just another Life Lesson to remind us that some things happen in life that we need to deal with in order to continue moving forward.

By the way, sometimes I even take my own advice and actually put my problems, and myself, to bed and determine to deal with whatever is bothering me in the morning…after a good night’s sleep.

I THOUGHT OF YOU TODAY

I wondered how you were and what you had been doing since I last saw you. It’s really been a lot longer than I realized since we’ve been in touch. The note I attached to update the old records basically says what I have been doing in one area of my life, but there is so much more that has happened beyond this. Where do I begin? What do I want/need to say?

I could start by saying that I sometimes think of you. It would be true in a sort of general way because I wonder where you are and what you are doing. I remember when we used to talk to each other every day, but I no longer remember when we stopped or why.

I don’t remember your Birthday any more. Years ago I knew it as well as I knew my own. I’d start buying you things weeks before, whenever I saw something I thought you’d like. I remember how I gave you something every day for the week of your Birthday. I used to bring you something I thought you would like, a present or a treat. I was really happy when I gave you things that you didn’t know you needed and especially things you would never get yourself.

  

You meant a lot to me once. I can think about a dozen things we did together. I remember your family, the friends we had in common; the people we saw together and those we saw separately.

Do you remember how we used to be able to tell each other anything? I trusted you, so I know we must have been great friends, because even now, I don’t do trust or love without friendship.

Time, where did it go? I’m trying to remember if there was something definite that changed things between us. Was it you who went away first or was it me?

I thought of you today; I remembered you and a lot of things about you. That is why I dropped you a note. Glad you wrote back. We really must get together soon and catch up. Maybe we’ll get together and have a cup of coffee.

I wish you well. I hope your life is happy. Mine? It’s not too bad. It’s different than before. I don’t know anyone like you, but I can’t say whether this is good or bad. It’s different. I’m glad I got in touch and got to tell you that I thought of you today.

THE PLACE WE CALL HOME

Although I really enjoy new people and experiences, there are times when it is both easier and more comfortable to just relax and enjoy familiar people and things.

Traveling for example, often has a time limit for most of us. After a certain amount of time away, we just want to be home. In my case, no matter how wonderful the place, people or scenery, it gets tiring to be washing and wearing the same limited number of clothes and having to communicate in another language each time I want a cup of coffee or direction. Usually I recognize that it’s time to come home.

Many things in life are like this. It’s almost as if too much of anything, becomes too much of a good thing and we just want to get off at the next stop and take a break. I don’t think this is a bad thing.

Consciously recognizing what we like, and especially what we need in life, lets us appreciate and enjoy the familiar things and people that populate our lives and make it ‘home’ for us.

The security and comfort of the familiar lets us recharge our batteries safely and easily. It enables us to get ready to look outward again in the direction of our lives next new experience and adventure.